[talaniman]

Easy Eggs

One Sunday morning, while stationed at Osan Air Base in South Korea, I was in line for breakfast and noticed that the cook behind the counter looked kind of harassed. After I gave him my order, he asked me how I wanted my eggs.

Not wanting to burden him further, I said cheerfully, "Oh, whatever is easiest for you."

With that, he took two eggs, cracked them open onto my plate and handed it back to me.





Bass Players' IQ

There was a certain bartender who was quite famous for being able to accurately guess people's IQs. One night a man walked in and talked to him briefly and the bartender said, "Wow! You must have an IQ of about 140! You should meet this guy over here." So they talked for a while about nuclear physics and existential philosophy and had a great time.

A second man walked in and soon the bartender has guessed about a 90 IQ for him. So he sat him down in front of the big-screen TV and he watched football with the other guys and had a hell of a time.

Then a third man stumbled in and talked to the bartender for a while. The bartender said to himself, "Jeez! I think this guy's IQ must be about 29!" He took him over to a man sitting at a little table back in the corner and said, "You might enjoy talking with this guy for a while."

After the bartender left, the man at the table said, "So do you play French bow or German bow?"





Bus Accident

There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogate the monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, they start asking the questions.

The police chief asks, "What were the people doing on the bus?"

The monkey shakes his head in a condemning manner and starts dancing around; meaning the people were dancing and having fun.

The chief asks, "Yeah, but what else were they doing?".

The monkey uses his hand and takes it to his mouth as if holding a bottle.

The chief says, "Oh! They were drinking, huh??!" The chief continues, "Okay, were they doing anything else?"

The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, meaning they were talking.

The chief loses his patience, "If they were having such a great time, who was driving the stupid bus then?"

The monkey cheerfully swings his arms to the sides as if grabbing a wheel.