 |
|
|
 |
Uber Member
|
|
Feb 12, 2009, 05:18 AM
|
|
Taxes
Hello:
The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis.
This is because 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts!
HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2009, the penis will now be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:
10 - 12" - Luxury Tax - $ 300.00
8 - 10" - Pole Tax - $ 250.00
5 - 8" - Privilege Tax - $ 150.00
3 - 5" - Nuisance Tax - $ 30.00
Males exceeding 12" must file capital gains. Anyone under 3" is eligible for a tax refund.
** PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION **
excon
|
|
 |
Uber Member
|
|
Feb 12, 2009, 07:23 AM
|
|
I have absolutely NO comment - for once. In fact, I can barely speak.
Every now and then Excon is in rare form. This is one of those times.
|
|
 |
Uber Member
|
|
Feb 12, 2009, 12:04 PM
|
|
So - who's going to go around and measure all these tax frauds who will claim to have less than a 3" whowho??
|
|
 |
Uber Member
|
|
Feb 12, 2009, 12:09 PM
|
|
 Originally Posted by twinkiedooter
So - who's going to go around and measure all these tax frauds who will claim to have less than a 3" whowho????
I think it's woo-who and anything else I say will get me banned for life.
|
|
 |
Uber Member
|
|
Feb 12, 2009, 12:32 PM
|
|
Maybe it's ring ding. Or ding dong. I don't know I don't have one of those thingys. But I hear they're handy to have at a picnic.
|
|
 |
Uber Member
|
|
Feb 12, 2009, 12:38 PM
|
|
 Originally Posted by twinkiedooter
But I hear they're handy to have at a picnic.
Hello twinkie:
And, a clam dig too.
excon
|
|
 |
Uber Member
|
|
Feb 12, 2009, 12:45 PM
|
|
And she says to him, "I want 6" and I want it to hurt."
And he says, "Well, I only have 3" but I'll do you twice and then I'll punch you in the mouth."
|
|
 |
Senior Member
|
|
Feb 12, 2009, 01:07 PM
|
|
Is this part of the new stimulus package?
|
|
 |
Uber Member
|
|
Feb 12, 2009, 01:14 PM
|
|
 Originally Posted by retsoksirhc
Is this part of the new stimulus package?
Absolutely GREAT response! Wow - love it!
|
|
 |
Ultra Member
|
|
Feb 12, 2009, 06:18 PM
|
|
Love it Exy :)
So if I refuse to pay will I get sent to a Penal colony?
|
|
 |
Ultra Member
|
|
Feb 12, 2009, 08:28 PM
|
|
That's just brilliant, Exy. Going to pass that one on... LOL!
|
|
 |
Ultra Member
|
|
Feb 14, 2009, 10:31 AM
|
|
Great... the last thing I need right now is an audit... :D
|
|
Question Tools |
Search this Question |
|
|
Add your answer here.
Check out some similar questions!
How to file a 1099 self employed taxes and taxes in Georgia
[ 3 Answers ]
Hi everyone .
I had a few tax related questions .
My husband is pretty much self employed , he is a permanent resident of the united states etc. we live in Georgia . We wanted to know how do we file a self employed tax paper and how do we figure the precentages we are a family of 4 . With 2...
Early Withdraw - 401K Taxes Paid vs. Taxes Owe
[ 7 Answers ]
Last year I took a early withdraw from my 401k last year after leaving my job. I had 30% withheld for Fed. Taxes. I am getting ready to have my taxes prepared. I have several questions.
1. Was 30% enough? Does 10% penalty still apply?
2. I live in the state of IL. Will I owe state taxes?
...
I did not file my taxes but had taxes taken out of my check
[ 14 Answers ]
I'm kind of worried here...
I don't know why I didn't, but it is what it is. I just didn't file my taxes for 2005 and 2006. I also worked for a company in 2004 that paid me in personal buisiness checks that I would cash at citibanks, etc. but they never had me fill out any paperwork and never...
Filing for 2004 taxes and 2005 taxes
[ 1 Answers ]
Hi
I just received my W2 from my employer and there were 2 W2's. One W2 was for the wages of Dec 2004 (since the employer pays 1 month delayed salary) and the other one was for Jan - Nov 2005.
I want to know if I can refile my 2004 taxes since I just got my Dec 2004's W2. If I add that...
View more questions
Search
|