Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    John Da's Avatar
    John Da Posts: 195, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Sep 25, 2007, 04:17 AM
    Pearly Gates :)
    The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
    He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself.
    The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.

    Saint Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you.
    We have heard a lot about you.
    I must inform you that the place is filling up fast,
    and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone.
    The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."

    Forest responds, "It shore is good to be here Saint Peter.
    I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams.
    Shore hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

    Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forest.
    But, the test I have for you is only three questions.
    Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?
    Second, how many seconds are there in a year?
    Third, what is God's name?"

    Forest goes away to think the questions over.
    He returns the next day and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.
    Saint Peter waves him up and asks,
    "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

    Forest says, "Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?
    Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow!"

    The saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims,
    "Forest! That's not what I was thinking, but... you do have a point though,
    and I guess I didn't specify, so I give you credit for that answer."

    "How about the next one" says Saint Peter, "how many seconds in a year?"

    "Now that one's harder," says Forest.
    "But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

    Astounded, Saint Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve!
    Forest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

    Forest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve:
    January second, February second, March second... "

    "Hold it," interrupts Saint Peter. "I see where you're going with it.
    And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind.
    I'll give you credit for that one too."

    "Let's go on with the next and final question," says Saint Peter,
    "Can you tell me God's name?"

    Forest says, "Well shore, I know God's name.
    Everbody probly know it. It's Andy Howard."

    "Andy Howard?" asks Saint Peter.
    "What makes you think it's 'Andy Howard'?"

    Forest answers, "It's in the song and the prayer."

    "The song and the prayer?" asks Saint Peter,
    "Which song and prayer?"

    "Andy's song", responds Forest,
    "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me... ",
    And The Lord's Prayer," responds Forest:
    "Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name... "
    benn11's Avatar
    benn11 Posts: 1,036, Reputation: 43
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Sep 25, 2007, 07:58 AM
    Clever guy, Hahaaahhhaaa:D

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Bill Gates [ 1 Answers ]

Q: How does Bill Gates change a light bulb? A: He doesn't, he declares darkness the industry standard. Q: How many Bureaucrats/civil servants does it take to screw in a light Bulb? A: Two. One to assure everyone that everything possible is being done while The other screws the bulb into the...

Gates Confirmation [ 1 Answers ]

We all know by now that Rumsfeld has resigned (finally!) and that President Bush has nominated Robert Gates to be the new Secretary of Defense. This leads me to a two-part question: a) When does the current Congress start meeting again? b) Will the confirmation hearing be done with the...


View more questions Search