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    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #1

    Jul 12, 2007, 06:01 PM
    North Dakota Humor

    Is That Mule For Sale?

    Germans Farmers in South Russia had a settled communal village life. There was a distinct sociality with relatives and friends, with regular church celebrations, weddings, and funerals. But when members of this ethinic groups immigrated to North Dakota, and were compelled to remake their lives on widely scattered homesteads instead of in villages, there was much lonliness. People yearned for relatives in the same county, who sometimes seemed as distant as those they had left behind in South Russia.

    To careve out a new life on far-flung frontier was not an easy business, and this pioneering was hardest on the women, who suffered terrribly. Some women turned into the much dreaded "Hausdrache", the house dragon, who complained bitterly at every opportunity. This joke grows from that difficult time:

    Once there was a German from Russia farmer who had a wife by the name of Otilda. Day in and day out, all she did was complain. The only relief the farmer got from her complaining was when he was out plowing with his mule. He plowed as much as he couuld, and he grew thankful for each single minute that he could escape from Otilda's complaining.

    Then one day, while he was out plowing, Otilda brought him lunch in the field. He tied up his mule and sat down on a large rock, where he began to eat his lunch. Immediately, Otilda began to unload her complaints. Without warning, the mule gave a vicious kick, catching her in the head - killing her on the spot.

    At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed that whenever a woman mourned approached the old farmer, the fellow would listen and nod his head in agreement. However, when a male approached, he would listen and then shake his head in disagreement. Finally, after the funeral, the minister spoke to the farmer, asking him why he always nodded in agreement to the women and in disagreement to the men.

    "Well," the old farmer told the minister, "The women would tell me how nice my wife looked in her coffin, or how pretty her dress was, so I would nod in agreement."

    "What about the men?" the minister asked.

    "They wanted to know if my mule was for sale."


    One Good Schnapps

    One elderly German farmer, who had turned the operation of his farm over to his son, retired to town. There, with too much time on his hands, he turned to drink. Each day he would go to the bar on Main Street where he drank schnapps, and, as a result, he began to lose his hearing.

    Though he hated doctors, his family finally convinced him to seek medical attention. Maybe the doctor could help him. The doctor who he consulted told him it was the alcohol that was making him deaf.

    "You have to stop drinking," the doctor shouted, leaning close so the farmer could hear.

    For an entire month the old farmer avoided drinking schnapps or touching any alcohol. Lo and behold! His hearing gradually returned.

    It was not long, however, before he took to the schnapps again. Just as before, his hearing started to leave him. Soon he was stone deaf. He could not make out a word anyone said.

    His son got him back to the doctor and the doctor shouted at the tops of his lungs in the old farmer's ear, "Didn't I tell you NOT to drink schnapps?"

    "Sure, you told me, and I did just what you said," the old farmer said. "But believe me, nothing I heard was worth one good schnapps."
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,318, Reputation: 10854
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    #2

    Jul 14, 2007, 09:47 AM
    Great stories LOL

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