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talaniman · Nov 2, 2006, 08:43 AM

One day my housework-challenged
husband decided to wash his Sweat-
shirt. Seconds after he stepped into
the laundry room, he shouted to me,
What setting do I use on the washing
machine?" "It depends," I replied.
"What does it say on your shirt?" He
yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest
woman in the world." The woman replies,
"I'll miss you..."
----------------------------------------------------------
"It 's just too hot to wear clothes today,"
Jack says as he stepped out of the
shower, "honey, what do you think the
neighbors would think if I mowed the
lawn like this?" "Probably that I married
you for your money," she replied.
----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent,
good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
----------------------------------------------------------
A man and his wife, now in their 60's,
were celebrating their 40th wedding
anniversary. On their special day a
good fairy came to them and said that
because they had been so good that
each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the
world with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/
cruise tickets in her hands. The man
wished for a female companion 30 years
younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my
man; Love to forgive him; And Patience
for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray
for Strength, I'll beat him to death

AMEN
---------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
---------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
--------------------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is
in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down
long enough.
---------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they are
sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end
they need to wipe.
----------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband
from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction
Manuals"

KMSRyana · Jan 12, 2007, 12:46 PM

Good jokes

SINGLE4 · Jan 12, 2007, 01:01 PM

Hee Hee... thank you for sharing them tal!

The pillow over the husband's head and him gasping for air reminds me of the last encounter with my ex-husband:D... or maybe I just drempted about it:eek:! (kidding)

magprob · Jan 12, 2007, 01:02 PM

I have just one word for you. TURNCOAT

KMSRyana · Jan 12, 2007, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by magprob

TURNCOAT

Trying to figure out who the turncoat is, lol.

KMSRyana · Jan 12, 2007, 02:38 PM

Just ran across this one, to further the thread...

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind
Of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is
In her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and
Masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to
Be more attracted to the face of a man with tape over his mouth and a spear
Lodged in his chest.

No further studies are expected.

magprob · Jan 12, 2007, 11:58 PM

What if she likes a man with a face like a slightly distorted bull dog? This would take me a long way in understanding what makes mine tick.