These all aren't done by the same person and most of them don't have an author; but anyway... ENJOY!

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

My homework is like a juicy steak -- rarely done.

I never let schooling interfere with my education --Mark Twain

One of the major functions of skin is to keep people who look at
You from throwing up. -- Actual exam answer

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. -- Dave Edison

"In the beginning there were three... and then the three became nine... and
then the nine got hungry and then there were four.." -- Gerard Phillips

"Into everyone's life, a little rain must fall, but this is ridiculous." - Noah

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and
Anyone going faster than you is a moron. --- George Carlin

'Socialism is when man exploits man, Capitalism is the reverse' - Polish Proverb

'Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be least disappointing'

Bradley's Bromide:
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a
Committee -- that will do them in.

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop

"Crime does not pay... as well as politics." -- Alfred E. Newman