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    vidds's Avatar
    vidds Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Mar 14, 2007, 10:38 AM
    Priorities at work vs personal life
    I have been working as a very senior manager and have built a very successful brand in an upcoming industry. But the work timings were close to14 hours everyday without a break and though I was very successful I started feeling very low and was constantly depressed as my 5 year old son was being taken care of my parents as I could hardly see him.

    Even at home I was constantly on the phone. So I quit... thinking with my skills as I have close to 12 years experience in communication I will get a job after about 4-5 months of break.

    And in the meanwhile I also attempted to do my m.phil.

    Now I find that there are openings but again I am not open to long hours of work. I want to spend some time with my child as my husband also is not around. He is not much bothered and is too much into work, keeps travelling and just visits us every 3 months.
    Am I wrong in the way I am thinking. Will I be able to get a job to work the way I want.

    Or will it not help me to move forward.

    Have I done a mistake by stepping out of the rat race.
    dflak's Avatar
    dflak Posts: 18, Reputation: 3
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    #2

    Mar 15, 2007, 10:18 AM
    I'm not a very religious person, so if I can quote anything from the Bible, it's got to be some sort of miracle. So here it goes, from the Big Guy himself, "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?"

    I recommend reading "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. It's a short book and easy-to-read, but it will help put things in perspective.
    lacuran8626's Avatar
    lacuran8626 Posts: 270, Reputation: 57
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    #3

    Apr 4, 2007, 07:50 AM
    You knew it was wrong to work that long, both for yourself and your son, as well as in terms of finding life balance. You did the right thing. Moving forward, you might have to look at what you specifically do - maybe there are opportunities in consulting, management or other areas that do not require the type of hours you were working. Or, you might consider doing contract work if your industry operates with contract staff - you can negotiate specific terms and hours better on contract than as an employee.

    Or, take a job and simply leave on time. Be willing to periodically work extra hours, but if it's chronic, express your need to have some assistance. It is a reasonable argument to state that 14 hours per day on a routine basis is excessive - it is nearly double a normal work day. Don't be apologetic.

    Perhaps cutting back to 8 hours a day won't fly, but what about being willing to work 9 hours a day, and being open to some overtime for critical deadlines - if you can take some of that time back once the deadline is past?

    You may need an employer with different values rather than a new occupation.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,300, Reputation: 7691
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    #4

    Apr 4, 2007, 09:24 AM
    And you may have to move to another entry level job in another field, or some other more hourly job. Many mangment jobs require long hours and the companies will expect you to almost "sell your soul to them"

    So it may be harder to find a job on your terms, but there will be some, you will just have to look and market yourself.
    gypsy456's Avatar
    gypsy456 Posts: 319, Reputation: 48
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    #5

    Apr 5, 2007, 02:18 PM
    Ask yourself again: what is more important... my family life or my career ?

    I am European and moved to the USA a year ago where I married my husband who is European but has been living here for more than 20 years. The one thing that strikes me is that life in America -and Los Angeles especially- about money. I have seldom lived in a society where people have so many credit cards in their wallet... And believe me: I come from advertising background, have been quite "successful" in my career and now I am here... it's hard to find a job in this immensely big pool but on top of that... it's all about work... and it makes me wonder: is it common for american people to just focus on work and making money without realising that a good quality of life is not necessarily money related ?

    By the sound of it you made a healthy decision... measure successful in terms of money and in terms of family quality time... you have a child who deserves a life with quality time with his parents.

    You know... sometimes in life it is not so much "what I want.. but more what I need..."

    Good luck !

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