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    Aijazreshi's Avatar
    Aijazreshi Posts: 3, Reputation: -1
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    #1

    Dec 31, 2011, 11:52 AM
    Getting married to a Christian woman
    Hello

    I would like to know that , is it allowed in Islam to get married with a Christian women. When she is willing to convert to Islam but can't do it because of social threat . Please if anyone is able to answer , do tell .

    Thank you
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Dec 31, 2011, 01:27 PM
    So, why don't you change yours to Christianity? Oh... then the Muslims will be threatening you. But that's OK somehow.
    Aijazreshi's Avatar
    Aijazreshi Posts: 3, Reputation: -1
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    #3

    Jan 1, 2012, 08:51 AM
    And why should I do that ? By the way I was looking for answer not the advice so keep it to yourself .
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #4

    Jan 1, 2012, 09:06 AM
    Typical... YOU aren't willing to do what you think you have any right to demand of others... so how about keeping it to YOURSELF. If you can't respect HER religion... then you can't respect HER as a woman either. And any person who marries another that doesn't respect them... gets what they deserve.

    Marriage is all about mutual respect. Not intimidation or domination. Not in civilized countries anyway.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #5

    Jan 1, 2012, 09:24 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Aijazreshi View Post
    And why should i do that ? by the way i was looking for answer not the advice so keep it to yourself .

    First, you are TOTALLY inappropriate.

    Second - you've left a lasting impression on me when it comes to Islam, and not a good impression at that.

    Third - I'm not sure that her reason for not marrying you is a social threat.

    Unfortunate.
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #6

    Jan 1, 2012, 11:41 AM
    Assalamu Alaikum

    I am sorry you have received incorrect advice here. Insha Allah I will be able to set things straight.

    Smoothy, Judy, the problem with your answers are, not that they are incorrect in YOUR culture, but in Islam, a man may marry a christian woman. But a muslim woman may NOT marry a christian man.

    You may not agree with that. But it is the way it is. You should respect that.

    Aijazreshi, yes you may marry her as a christian, it is especially even more favorable that she plans to revert to Islam as soon as it is safe for her to do so.

    I had to keep my education in Islam a secret as well, because my family would have been physically violent about it, and even go so far as to take my child away. Thankfully that has not happened.

    I pray you and your soon to be wife have a wonderful and happy life. Alhamdulillah you have found each other.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #7

    Jan 1, 2012, 12:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jenniepepsi View Post
    Smoothy, Judy, the problem with your answers are, not that they are incorrect in YOUR culture, but in Islam, a man may marry a christian woman. But a muslim woman may NOT marry a christian man.

    You may not agree with that. but it is the way it is. you should respect that.

    Sorry, Jennie, but I must disagree. The OP's disrespectful response was: "And why should i do that ? by the way i was looking for answer not the advice so keep it to yourself."

    Islam or no Islam, that is inappropriate. You find "keep it to yourself" in the name of religion to be acceptable?

    I answered: "First, you are TOTALLY inappropriate. Second - you've left a lasting impression on me when it comes to Islam, and not a good impression at that. Third - I'm not sure that her reason for not marrying you is a social threat. Unfortunate."

    He IS totally inappropriate, he's left a lasting impresson on me about Islam and I'm not sure that not marrying him is due to a social threat. I found big problems with his attitude which I am assuming spills over into his relationships.

    Where am I misunderstanding his religion or being judgmental or being whatever it is you think I am?

    Just for the record - I do some work for a Muslim law firm. My late husband was an Orthodox Jew. I was raised Catholic. I am not intolerant of religion. I AM intolerant with a "new be" comes on and insults a respected member of the AMHD community.

    Where was I disrespectful to the OP? I'd like to know because I'm not seeing it.

    And PLEASE don't apologize for my incorrect advice when I basically offered no advice. I am able to speak for myself.

    Any other person on any other thread who posted "keep it to yourself" would get the same response from me. OP cannot be rude in the name of religion and expect no one to notice and/or care.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #8

    Jan 1, 2012, 12:17 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jenniepepsi View Post
    Assalamu Alaikum

    I am sorry you have received incorrect advice here. Insha Allah I will be able to set things straight.

    Smoothy, Judy, the problem with your answers are, not that they are incorrect in YOUR culture, but in Islam, a man may marry a christian woman. But a muslim woman may NOT marry a christian man.

    You may not agree with that. but it is the way it is. you should respect that.

    Aijazreshi, yes you may marry her as a christian, it is especially even more favorable that she plans to revert to Islam as soon as it is safe for her to do so.

    I had to keep my education in Islam a secret as well, because my family would have been physically violent about it, and even go so far as to take my child away. thankfully that has not happened.

    I pray you and your soon to be wife have a wonderful and happy life. alhamdulillah you have found each other.
    I also disagree... the first stage of disrespect was the OP demanding she change her religion... that only sets the stage for disrespect in every other aspect of the relationship... and Islam is not superior to any other religion out there... its only an excuse for subjugation.

    Personally if she is dumb enough to do it... then she deserves everything she gets... and they both deserve to not have a real relationship, and they won't have when threats and intimidation are the basis.

    She has every bit of a right to expect him to change... if he really cared about her he would. If he won't then its really clear he's after a slave and not a partner.

    And its not about Culture... it's about respect. AND my ADVICE was correct. I have little respect for anyone that calls themselves a man that treats a woman like that. And using someone's concept of "religion" to justify it is a lame excuse. And something I find highly offensive. Women are not second class citizens like Islam preaches... and how the OP is treating this one. Or is this really just another example of the sport of pick on the Christians the Muslims like to engage in worldwide?

    I feel everyone is entitled to their own beliefs... even if it is worshiping a wombat... but not when they start demanding other people convert to whatever their flavor is. Particularly when they have plenty of choices that already have the same belief structure they have.
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #9

    Jan 1, 2012, 12:57 PM
    WOW.
    Given a reddy even though I gave the CORRECT INFORMATION.
    This is just great.

    Point of fact, I see NO WHERE that this man has DEMANDED his future wife convert. He said she is willing. That sounds like SHE made the CHOICE.

    And honestly, I do not blame the OP for asking you to keep your 'advice' to yourselves. Given that you gave INACCURATE advice, and ridiculed him, for no plain reasons I can see. Smoothy was out right disrespectful.

    The fact is, it doesn't matter what he or his girlfriend choose in their private life.
    He asked a religious question, on if he can marry her.

    He did not ask for your opinions on the way him and his girlfriends private lives function.

    He now has the correct and accurate answer he was searching for.

    And I hope he continues to come here to the Islam board for advice when he needs it in spite of the ridicule.


    Judy, smoothy, you both know I love you very much. But I stand by what I originally said. You are both WRONG. And should not have even posted here in the first place.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #10

    Jan 1, 2012, 01:07 PM
    This is a public forum... asking a question opens you up to anyone's thoughts and opinions... you as well as anyone knows that. They have to take them as they come.

    The OP went way beyond that point you mentioned with the expectation she change her religion to suit his... there is a well documented history of persecution BY Muslims towards others. And its from THAT perspective why we are entitled to post... she doesn't just up and do that without some sort of coercion.

    I've known a few women that went through this personally (manipulated to abandon their religion for another). I see a repeat of what they went through.

    I like you very much as well... but I do NOT see this the same way you do.

    (PS... I get reddies too ) It was WAY better when you knew who it was and they could give a reason for it like it used to be.. most of mine are from people that didn't even comment on the thread in question.

    Incidentally... my wife is not the same religion as mine... true they share similarities but MANY differences. Neither of us expected or wanted the other to change. And 20 years later we both retain our own religions. Its all about mutual respect... and what respect is more basic than your religion, if you can respect a spouse that has a different religion without expecting them to change, or wanting them to change... then you can respect almost anything else about them.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #11

    Jan 1, 2012, 01:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jenniepepsi View Post
    Judy, smoothy, you both know i love you very much. But I stand by what i originally said. You are both WRONG. and should not have even posted here in the first place.

    Jennie, PLEASE don't even go there. You know better (as the mods would say).

    And I didn't reddie you if that's your next post.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #12

    Jan 1, 2012, 01:52 PM
    The issue is that fear of a religion is real, People in some parts of the world kill for their faith, they kill family members who disgrace that faith and they kill others because of that faith. The fact that converting to either religion can cause you death but esp ( and sorry) if that religion is Islam.

    This girl or even guy could be in real danger of their life if they convert.
    Aijazreshi's Avatar
    Aijazreshi Posts: 3, Reputation: -1
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    #13

    Jan 2, 2012, 08:41 PM
    Hello everyone

    First of all, I would like to tell you that I am not demanding her to convert . Second we love and respect each other very much . I asked the question because we are planning to get married that's why we want to clear all the clouds for better future .

    And personally let me tell you , Women have very high place in Islam , but due to some reasons its always misrepresented by the Gray media or by the people who really don't understand things around them but always like to say a lot .








    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #14

    Jan 2, 2012, 09:08 PM
    I got my information FROM Muslim women I know personally (and not all one nationality either).. and its clear how they are treated in many Muslim nations, Starting with Saudi Arabia... Afghanistan and any other country they persecute women for not covering themselves up. The Muslims women I know ALL refuse to be told what to wear. Which according to every one of the Muslim women I know (of different nationalities)... is NOT in the Koran.

    And we also know the Oppressive nature of Sharia law... We know far more than you think we do...

    And its also taught its permitted to lie to non-Muslims in order to further your cause, and in fact its encouraged.

    And its common for one thing to be spoken and something very different to be translated for outside consumption in many Muslim nations as well. That is also well known and proven over multiple instances. And the persecutions of Non-Muslims is well known. One example of many is the massacre of the Coptic Christians in Egypt.

    As far as the other part... don't encourage her to convert if you love her. She will develop resentment in time. That is the true indication of love... you accept the other person as they are. Anytime you pressure or force someone to change... they develop resentments. You have to accept her how she is.

    If you can do that... you have a chance at a happy marriage.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #15

    Jan 3, 2012, 09:43 AM
    Now I'm confused - the explanation of a Muslem/Christian marriage as posted by a Muslim is, "... but in Islam, a man may marry a christian woman. But a muslim woman may NOT marry a christian man." That looks like different standards to me.

    It appears he CAN marry her. A muslim woman, however, has no choice but a muslim man.

    Right, that sounds like equality.

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