I have a question when someone deletes you off from their buddy list does it take a while for the person on their list to come off or is it instant because my ex boyfriend told me that he had deleted from his buddy list,but had instant messaged me last night so has he really delete me? Because it seems like if he had deleted me he shouldn't have been able to message me.

I haven't used aim in a while. But last time I used it, you don't have to have someone on your buddy list to I'm them. You just have to know their user name to type it into the window. Maybe some messengers are different. Try it on yours and see what happens