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    PixieMama's Avatar
    PixieMama Posts: 68, Reputation: 8
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    #1

    Jul 11, 2007, 12:35 PM
    Home school vs. Public school?
    My husband and I have decided to home school our children because we do not feel that the public education systems are very good these days. When we were in public school the teachers spent more time trying to control and disipline the class or individual students then they spent teaching. I also feel that the public school system is too focused on passing standardized tests then on real education. And it seems to be getting worse as the years go on. (I have a 13 yr old sister in the public education system and I am appalled at her reading/writing skills!) My husband and I feel that education is important and we want them to have good and strong educations, as they are already very bright children and at three years old, my twins can already spell a few words. Since there are four of them, we're not very concerned about their social skills. My kids have great social skills already, and besides, the husband and I decided we are going to get them involved in other activities that they show interest in (such as music or sports or art) outside of a school setting so they can make other friends and explore their interets. We also live in a neighborhood with lots of families who have young children as well.

    However, my mother is so ANTI home school that she says it borders on child neglect and that parents who home school are lazy and bad parents. Yet, she always comments on how smart my children are and she's amazed by how much they know. And I ask her where she thinks they learn everything from? She quickly changes the subject and gets angry if I tell her it's because I'm already home schooling them on a pre school level. She's convinced that public school is the best way to go and I'm horrible for thinking otherwise.

    So my question is - for those who home school, AND for those in the public school system to share your thoughts and experiences and how you think it's positively or negatively effected your children? Or if you are a child who has been home schooled/public schooled - your thoughts are welcome too.

    I'm just looking for outside input to share with my mother because this is an issue she and I both get very heated about.

    Thanks!

    *EDIT* My kids already have Florida Prepaid set up so they can go to college when the time comes for that and my husband and I agree that we both feel college is important to their continued education so they can have good careers when they become adults.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #2

    Jul 11, 2007, 12:47 PM
    Given the current conditions in the public schools, I would homeschool. Homeschooled children are not nelgected, their parents are not abusing them by keeping them out of the public school system. There are homeschool associations in many cities and towns, where parents and children get together for meetings, activiites, field trips, etc. I just do not see the downside of homeschool. That argument people throw at the parent about how isolated the child will be is not true, for the vast majority of children.

    There was just an article in our local newspaper about local teen being accepted in Dartmouth and she was homeschooled! Parents who are dedicated to their children's education will make homeschooling work. Your school district will no doubt present you with a curriculum to follow and their standards. Find other parents in your area who homeschool and get involved in that network. There is soooooo much information and resources out there now to help parents. Thank heavens for the web! Lol

    I congratulate you and your husband on your decision. Wishing you the very best and these are your children, not your Mother-in-laws, and it is your decision to make, not hers. Good luck.
    CaptainForest's Avatar
    CaptainForest Posts: 3,645, Reputation: 393
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    #3

    Jul 11, 2007, 12:58 PM
    I myself went to a public school here in Ontario, Canada.

    I found it to be quite good.

    But in the earlier years (Kindergarten – Grade 3), my mom would sit down with me every day after school, and go through math or english since she felt the amount of work done at school was not enough.

    However, once someone has the basics down, the rest is just more stuff.

    I can't speak for the Florida public education system, but I found it quite good.

    Something else you should consider….can you handle being with your kids like that all the time?

    My mom said while she loved us, she loved it when we all were in school so she had a bit of a break from us.

    Perhaps you can keep them in school, but go over certain things with them everyday after school.

    Also their ages should play a role in your decision as well. If they are teenagers, I think being in high school will provide a good experience, and even being in elementary school when they are younger provides a good experience, and a way to learn.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,278, Reputation: 5644
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    #4

    Jul 11, 2007, 01:04 PM
    The only thing I have to add is for the later years of homeschooling. I have friends in my college that were homeschooled. They were going into the nursing program with me and it required Chemistry. However, the chemistry credits did not transfer so they had to take chemistry over again.

    So, remember when you get up in the later years of school to find out if your particular homeschool credits will transfer.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #5

    Jul 11, 2007, 01:09 PM
    J_9 is correct. I know several families from where I lived that did get their children enrolled in high school for the sciences like biology and chemistry. Always good to check those things out.
    rankrank55's Avatar
    rankrank55 Posts: 1,259, Reputation: 177
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    #6

    Jul 11, 2007, 01:18 PM
    Look into some charter or magnet schools; they are great!
    michealb's Avatar
    michealb Posts: 484, Reputation: 129
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    #7

    Jul 11, 2007, 01:55 PM
    Don't forget to socialize your kids. I have seen many home school kids who were very smart but socially retarded. I personally feel it is better to send your kids to public school to learn how to socialize and spend an hour a day with them outside of school to actually learn what they were taught in school. Book knowledge is great but is useless if your as social as a house plant. Your kids though do what you feel is right by them, I know there are some public schools around here that I won't think about placing them in that environment.
    michealb's Avatar
    michealb Posts: 484, Reputation: 129
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    #8

    Jul 11, 2007, 02:47 PM
    Comments on this post
    PixieMama agrees: There are 4 of them all under 4yrs old. Our neighborhood is packed with kids. They are very social kids. :)

    Good that there are neighborhood kids, there is a show on one of the discovery networks about some congressman that has 16 kids that were all home schooled all of them have very visible social issues. It is a sad show to watch.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7691
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    #9

    Jul 11, 2007, 03:20 PM
    We home school and would not even consider sending them to public school, When we lived in Atlanta, we had school teachers and school officials tell us personally if we could get them into some private school or home school they would.

    But while social issues can be one issue but not if you keep your kids in social setting, of course they do get ot miss out of the social issues of being bullied, being abused, being harmed by the system.

    Except for some of the special programs I would not highly advice most larger school systems any longer.

    ** anyone with 16 kids, they should be socialised with that many other kids at home, that sounds more like parenting issues, not social issues.
    michealb's Avatar
    michealb Posts: 484, Reputation: 129
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    #10

    Jul 11, 2007, 04:37 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
    But while social issues can be one issue but not if you keep your kids in social setting, of course they do get ot miss out of the social issues of being bullied, being abused, being harmed by the system.
    I feel that's a lot of the problems with home schooled kids is that they don't know, what it's like not to have people looking out for there best interst. Being bullied and learning the proper way to deal with it is exactly why it's a good idea to send kids to public school. Life is hard and kids need to learn how deal with these hardships. Otherwise they react like a child does when faced with difficult situtations even though they maybe in their 20s.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
    ** anyone with 16 kids, they should be socialised with that many other kids at home, that sounds more like parenting issues, not social issues
    The reason it is social issues is because you have 16 kids who all grew up in the same house with the same parents who taught them all the same thing. They know how to socialize with each other but when if comes to dealing with people who don't think like they do they come up short. Also compare 18 people who they regularly talk to with 100 to 150 that a child who goes to public school will socialize with.
    peanut6966's Avatar
    peanut6966 Posts: 43, Reputation: 7
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    #11

    Jul 15, 2007, 04:31 PM
    My son is 9 years old and this was my 1st year homeschooling him, he also has autism and it was hard in public school for him, he hated it and I hated getting the phonecalls everyday. My son loves being homeschooled and I do plan on homeschooling my 2 girls when they are old enough.
    As for socialization in school there is not that much, you are sitting at a desk all day and the only time you can talk to people is at lunch. My kids go with me to the store and bank etc... and learn the real life skills they need and do not teach you in school, also my son does baseball and boyscouts for socializing.
    Children don't have to be in public school for socializing :) I love homeschooling and the kids learn a lot better with the one on one teaching than in a classroom full of other children, teachers can not stop teaching when 1 child doesn't understand and when you homeschool you can. I will never send any of my kids back to public school again :)
    michealb's Avatar
    michealb Posts: 484, Reputation: 129
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    #12

    Jul 16, 2007, 10:05 AM
    Special needs children are different and do require special attention. Kids get more socializing in school than just lunch though. There are group projects, recess, P.E. and there is something to be said about the kid being able to understand that they can not disrupt group learning.

    I suggest everyone that wants to home school their children talk to some older home schooled kids and look at what it does to them they become little more than mindless clones of their parents. Watch The Duggars : Discovery Health's The Duggars on the discovery health channel and watch the kids if you can't tell that there is something very wrong with those kids you probably should send your kids to public or private school.
    CaptainForest's Avatar
    CaptainForest Posts: 3,645, Reputation: 393
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    #13

    Jul 16, 2007, 03:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by peanut6966
    As for socialization in school there is not that much, you are sitting at a desk all day and the only time you can talk to people is at lunch.
    Sorry to hear about your son, but your above comment makes no sense. In school, I never sat at my desk and only socialized at lunch (or recess). The schools I were at always had group activities to facilitate learning. The teacher didn’t just teach and be done with it. So there is socializing in that as well.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7691
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    #14

    Jul 16, 2007, 03:49 PM
    Yes, most people try and make far too much out of the social issue of school, since sadly far too many pubic schools have become more social and a lot less school.

    But if home schooling is done properly, there is no issue with social and the children have actually better skills, and far more education.

    There are dance class, martial art class, organised sports. Some states require their public school systems to allow home school in school sport activities.
    At least to me, there is no doubt at all, for the properly homeschooled child it is leaps and bounds better than public school, and still a lot better than private schools. ( and private schools are much better than the public schools)

    But in the end it is up to the parents, since it takes a lot of work to be home schooled. One parent has to almost devote their entire life during the school years for the child's education, and it really takes two parents since one has to have a break and help with a lot of the instruction.
    ** although one parent can it is harder.
    michealb's Avatar
    michealb Posts: 484, Reputation: 129
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    #15

    Jul 16, 2007, 04:30 PM
    I agree that if done properly home schooling has the ability to produce better. I just doubt the ability of most parents to do it properly.

    For instance Fr_chuck I bet you wouldn't teach your kids anything about evolution. While you may feel that evolution is not real and therefore isn't important it is the basis for many fields of science and while if your child wishes to be a priest he doesn't need to know that but he would be a severe disadvantange going into a college level science course.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7691
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    #16

    Jul 16, 2007, 04:50 PM
    Evolution as far as the short term bearing that plants within their type can change, or where man has changed the such.

    And as the folly of mans teachings, it is included. As the same, since the truth of creation is not taught at public schools, children there are not taught a full range of all the possible ideas of how things were made.

    And myself and our church attorney watched every text book carefully that my older children used in public school. The issues today go far worst than evolution, that is only minor to the things taught in many public schools.

    All of my older boys, always answered their tests with the terms, as taught by some scientists and the such, but never as the truth.
    Since it is not a proven fact, the school can not score against them for merely quoting what others say about it, They even added notes on T F questions as it is a theory not fact and the such.

    But in general learning that man has no value on earth and no reason for life, is not a good thing for anyone, And I see no limit on anyone's future by them learning a better truth than what public school teaches.

    Private school children have no problem in this either. And since college level classes are to challenge ideas I see no issue there unless there are an agenda in the school or teacher.

    And actually in general, most home school score higher and do better in college than those of public school, just as private school grads do better than public school in general. ( there are always specific exceptions of course)
    michealb's Avatar
    michealb Posts: 484, Reputation: 129
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    #17

    Jul 16, 2007, 05:17 PM
    Truth should be based on evidence not ideals.

    I think we have reached an impasse. I want to expose my kids to new ideas and new people that are different than themselves. You want to your kids to think like you do and hold on to ideas of the past.
    peanut6966's Avatar
    peanut6966 Posts: 43, Reputation: 7
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    #18

    Jul 17, 2007, 04:10 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by michealb
    Special needs children are different and do require special attention. Kids get more socializing in school than just lunch though. There are group projects, recess, P.E. and there is something to be said about the kid being able to understand that they can not disrupt group learning.

    I suggest everyone that wants to home school their children talk to some older home schooled kids and look at what it does to them they become little more than mindless clones of their parents. Watch The Duggars : Discovery Health's The Duggars on the discovery health channel and watch the kids if you can't tell that there is something very wrong with those kids you probably should send your kids to public or private school.

    LOL The Duggars... I don't think homeshooling has anything to do with why those kids aren't "normal", in my opinion they pretty much treat their kids like slaves, making them watch the younger ones as their own "buddies" and doing all the chores in the house and even having the older ones build their new house...
    All I can say is from experience from when I went to school and when my son was in school about the socialization part, I know all schools are different in how they run and operate.
    Also I must add that when my son did go to public school he was absent 31 days every year due to being sick with colds and flu's, prior to going to school from birth until age 5 my son had been sick a total of 3 times, and now that he is homeschooled he has not been sick at all and he still does interact with other children 4 days a week through baseball and boyscouts... I think homeschooling is a personal choice and it is something that takes a lot of time and thought, it took me almost a year to make a final decision about it and I am glad I did it :)
    asking's Avatar
    asking Posts: 2,673, Reputation: 660
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    #19

    Jul 18, 2007, 05:28 PM
    [QUOTE=michealb] Being bullied and learning the proper way to deal with it is exactly why it's a good idea to send kids to public school. Life is hard and kids need to learn how deal with these hardships. /QUOTE]

    I took my son out of public school because of the amount of bullying he was suffering and I don't regret it. I home schooled him through 7th grade then put him in private school. He's now entering 9th grade.

    All the same, I think that Michaelb has made an important point. Kids who are bullied and abused actually tolerate abuse better as adults. Scientific studies show that they are just thicker skinned and don't feel as much stress as people who have never experienced such treatment.

    Also, socialization doesn't just mean hanging out with other kids. It also means learning how to give teachers what they want, how to learn from someone you may not like or admire, things like that. It means learning to sit still when you are bored out of your mind, saying what's expected of you even when you don't mean it. You aren't going to get that from your parents. I don't necessarily like all the ways that schools teach kids to conform, but it is something to think about. It's not like homeschooling has no downside at all.
    asking's Avatar
    asking Posts: 2,673, Reputation: 660
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    #20

    Jul 18, 2007, 06:07 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by PixieMama
    So my question is - for those who home school, AND for those in the public school system to share your thoughts and experiences and how you think it's positively or negatively effected your children? Or if you are a child who has been home schooled/public schooled - your thoughts are welcome too.
    My older son just graduated from a public high school and my younger one was in private school for kindergarten, public school for first through 6th, homeschooled for 7th, and private school for 8th and 9th (coming up). After that I haven't decided yet. I wish I had put my older son somewhere else. But I don't think home school would have been a good choice for him.

    Our public elementary school was great and I wouldn't hesitate to send younger kids to school. I think homeschooling is a lot of work and it's the rare parent who can bring all the resources to it that kids can get from a school with professional teachers.

    Middle school was another story. The PE class had 45 kids and my son was tripped and humilated pretty much daily. The "rule" at school was that kids could only swear once per class period, which meant they swore all day long all the time and said other disgusting things. The teachers couldn't remember who said what and just ignored it all.

    So I took my son out of school and kept him home for a year. I got to know him better, I feel like I conveyed to him some values that were important to me, and we became closer. And we've stayed that way even though he's back in school. He's also much happier and has a better sense of who he is, I think. He's less bothered by bullies. Maybe some of that is just growing up.

    The year I home schooled was fun. We rented about 60 netflix documentaries and talked about all them. We still do that, the habit carried over. And the local school district had someone check up on our progress with math and so on. She was very kind, but I was shocked at how little they expected us to accomplish. I don't know about other people, but I would have a hard time covering all the different topics that were required. Over a period of 12 years, I know I wouldn't do it. I am a biologist and can teach basic science to my kids, but I don't know anything about world history or even how to teach math properly. I can do algebra, but that's different from teaching it. I remember struggling to explain things that were perfectly obvious to me.

    Home schooling is a serious undertaking and I know people who have tried it and given up on it. And I know teachers who would NEVER home school their own kids, because it's too much work. I'm glad I tried it. No regrets. But I'm also glad my son is back in school now, where he's exposed to a Latin teacher who knows things I could never teach him. He also had a great math teacher who boosted his confidence and a good science teacher who loves the way my son's mind works. Those people give my son something I can never give him, a connection to other adults who have a unique relationship with him. He can learn from them AND me. He's also exposed to other kids and makes friends he wouldn't necessarily meet in our neighborhood. He has a wider choice of friends.

    Pixie Mama, homeschooling is great, especially with four kids. But if I were you, I would plan to let them go to school for part of the time, maybe for first through third grade and then again in high school, something like that. That way,they can get the best of both.

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