I've noticed latley, or better yet, the last couple of years, that the holiday mood for me has begun to wear off. Others that I know have begun to have this same problem. As Im sure each of us have our own reasons for not liking Christmas, Im pleased to say, that I have finally found my holiday spirit.

Its located at the bottom of a deep dark hole, way out of reach from me. But at least I know where its at, even if I can't enjoy it.

I have been receiving clues over the last few months to its whereabouts, the commercialism of Christmas, the fuss over nativity scenes and Jesus, etc, and it seems as though more and more people are caught up in the material side of the holiday.

Each year its getting harder and harder to please people. Many times I find my Christmas gifts being returned to me a few years later by others in my family, they were preparing to take them to the good will and ask if I wanted them, not knowing what it was, they dropped off the boxes of old pots pans, and household items at my door. Upon digging, I found that much of this were actually old Christmas gifts that I had given them.

Now for the final blow, the last nail in my Christmas coffin. My own wife who made it clear all she wants this year is a gift card. I thought it nice to go out and actually buy her a trinket AND a gift card. I took my last $15 and got her a saramic dolphin clock at Magic Mart. Feeling all pleased and good about making the 35 mile pilgramage past the walmart propaganda to the underdog "Magic Mart" store in Pearisburg, I was sure she would like it.

When I told her I got back with one of her presents. (I will get more this weekend when I get paid), she gave me a dirty look and stated "IT BETTER BE SOMETHING I LIKE", I ask... "What do you mean?" In a suspecting tone of voice". "WELL THERE JUST Isn't A LOT OF STUFF THAT I LIKE". Knowing that she ask me clearly to get a gift card for her.

Basicly, like everyone else, she wants money.

This is what Christmas has become, and I hate it. Christmas has become just another bill for me. A reason for me to spend money I dont have for people who dont appricate it.

After more words were exchanged, I decided to bring in the clock, slammed it down on the table and told her the receipts in the bag, take it back and get your money. She got mad, and later I decided that I would just give the clock to Grandma. And I would give my beloved wife COLD HARD CASH this year, in a plain envelope, no note, no card, all of that JUST WASNT VALUBALE TIME AND MONEY, AND THATS WHAT THIS SEASON IS ABOUT MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY!!!!!!!!!

And for the record, this will be the last year I do anything at all for this God forsaken holiday. And yes, I termed it "God forsaken" because this holiday has nothing to do with GOD anymore.

January second Im filing for a divorce. Ive had it with this... sh.. crap.

Thank you for letting me vent.