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    pumibel's Avatar
    pumibel Posts: 84, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member

    Nov 14, 2006, 06:15 PM
    How do you know?
    Hi everyone,

    I was just wondering if anyone can list some qualifications/criteria that may indicate a child is "gifted". My mother always said, "Everyone thinks their crow is the blackest," so how do I know whether I am just doting on a bright child or if my child really "gifted"? I don't want to put pressure on her to perform at an unattainable level just because I think she is the best kid in the world;)

    ordinaryguy's Avatar
    ordinaryguy Posts: 1,790, Reputation: 596
    Ultra Member

    Nov 15, 2006, 05:28 PM
    How old is she? Don't worry about how she compares to other kids. To you, she is the best kid in the world, and the best gift you can give her is to tell her that every day. Being smart is a little bit overrated in my opinion. Some of the most miserable, obnoxious people I've ever met were way smart, but emotionally insecure. Love her, play with her, give her your undivided attention and let somebody else worry about whose crow is the blackest. Your mom sounds like a wise lady.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,292, Reputation: 7691

    Nov 15, 2006, 05:48 PM
    What you have to remember that children can be giften in some areas and normal in others. Some people may be gifted in music but even below normal in math or reading.
    The gifted musician may be playing three music instruments and writing music by 6. But they may have been late walking or getting potty trained.

    Many math genius have trouble with intercommunication skills.

    You let them be the best they can,
    pumibel's Avatar
    pumibel Posts: 84, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member

    Nov 15, 2006, 05:50 PM
    She is 7, and I never compare her to other kids. I just want her to have an opportunity to get special instruction if it is appropriate for her. I think she may be a "gifted" kid, but if I am being biased, I could actually be harming her by pressing harder studies. If I knew some markers to look for, I can make a more informed choice. It's totally OK if she is not considered "gifted." That is what I meant- I was not saying that I compared her to others. I just don't want to confuse a mother's pride with truly rare talent or something.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,271, Reputation: 5643

    Nov 15, 2006, 06:11 PM
    I consider my daughter gifted, she never opens a book and is an A student, my mother-in-law is a 4th grade teacher here in Tipton, and has been for 20 years. We have learned through trial and tribulation that it is best that the child be kept in the mainstream if at all possible.

    Children are cruel, they make fun of other children with disabilities, but they also make fun of kids in, what our schools call, challenge classes.

    As long as your daughter is making her grades it is my opinion to keep her where she is. My daughter had the opportunity to go into "challenge" but declined because she knew what the others say.

    Just my 2 cents worth.
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
    Ultra Member

    Nov 15, 2006, 06:24 PM
    I don't know if this will help any... I was considered a gifted child. I would amuse adults by talking like them from a very young age. My (dysfunctional) parents had IQ tests done (it falls in the 2%) from about fourth grade and starting at sixth grade I was in school full time. By ninth grade, they wanted me to go to an advanced school but the school required the kids' permission to send them there (smart move since who would want a bunch of deliquent brainiacs! ) and I said no--long story there I am skipping.

    As it was, I went to one of the best public school systems in the US, stayed an extra year (another long story refusing to graduate early) and graduated second in about 1200 kids with almost 30% more credits than anyone else. I still didn't appreciate this difference until I hit college, wow.

    I did see early on what the really driven kids were like - shared a locker in freshman year of high school with one, age 14 who was a senior with a 16 yr old brother who was a sophomore at Yale - both brothers were very socially inept and not very balanced or happy kids, I thought and so yep, I was encouraged to temper any ambitious drive from my observations of things like that. It made my parents unhappy but that was too bad (another long story)

    Like ordinaryguy, I have found the folks in Mensa (tried them twice) and other competitive genius-types hard to take. I don't believe intellectual prowess is grounds for any power tripping or ranks me as superior as a human being. We ALL have gifts. I socialize with a vast array of people, making throwing a party challenging, oh well LOL!

    Sooo, it sounds like you have a good solid context in which to handle your bright child. Look after her schooling needs and see that she isn't being held back. One of the smartest things my parents did for me was put many things at my disposal to pick from. Lots of exposure, very stimulating. But lots of pressure, well, it backfired with me. Part of my estrangment from my dad was his feeling I was not measuring up to my potential. Sad.

    I hope you found this helpful. Good luck with raising Einsteinette!

    PS What the good Fr Chuck says is true, I was gifted for language, visual arts, social stuff too but had to work for some of the maths and sciences and yet my famous rock star friend, brilliant man who I consider a "math savant" (he taught me music IS math) can't write a complete correct sentence of English!
    pumibel's Avatar
    pumibel Posts: 84, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member

    Nov 15, 2006, 06:48 PM
    LOL! I was one of those "gifted" kids, too- BIG IQ. I am pretty good with art and creative writing, but I believe my good grades came more from disciplined study and desire to learn stuff (hence, "research nerd"). I didn't just show up for class and get A's.

    I went to public school and attended the advanced classes, but not until Junior High. My elementary school grades were horrible because I was bored and couldn't keep my locker clean (all my completed homework was crushed under the pile of stuff instead of being turned in). I didn't do well until someone literally pulled me out of that environment and taught me in a small group of kids with the same issues. When I went back to mainstream classes with other kids I did just fine and took all advanced courses in high school. So there is the root of my concern- I don't want to find out my mistake after her grades have gone down the crapper and people are telling her she is "slow" or something.

    Right now my wonderchild is doing well, and I am happy for her to be just a regular fun-loving kid. She is very sociable and makes friends easily. I am not looking for her to attend college next year, just making sure I am not holding her back. The last thing I want to do is push her too hard and cause her to be an anxiety-ridden overacheiver with an eating disorder and OCD who never leaves the house...
    pumibel's Avatar
    pumibel Posts: 84, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member

    Nov 15, 2006, 06:53 PM
    Oh, and my Algebra teacher used to laugh at the number 3- not sure why it was funny to him.

    My chemistry teacher used to say he would close his eyes and see nothing but empirical formulas

    They were both super-geniuses but not thebest conversationalists, so I know what Fr_Chuck is talking about!
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
    Ultra Member

    Nov 15, 2006, 07:01 PM
    Oh I had an algebra teacher who looked just like Walter Matthau BUT wasn't the least bit funny, not in the least, zero sense of humor, poor man! And there I was all visual and such wisecracking him from instinct, ouch to say how THAT went over. He proved to me how much of a nemesis a teacher can be to a bright but misguided student, holy cow! I wish I'd had yours, 3 is funny, so is 1.
    pumibel's Avatar
    pumibel Posts: 84, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member

    Nov 15, 2006, 07:16 PM
    How about 13 or 31? You have them both together! (hee hee!)
    dmatos's Avatar
    dmatos Posts: 204, Reputation: 26
    Full Member

    Nov 15, 2006, 07:37 PM
    In Ontario, at least, you can talk to your child's teachers, and with them, recommend that they be tested to see if they are gifted. Having that label attached to them actually will help, as each new teacher will be informed of the fact, and even if you don't opt to place them in more challenging classes, the teacher will know to work them harder, and keep them from becoming bored. They should be able to do this without ostracizing your child from her classmates, too.
    pumibel's Avatar
    pumibel Posts: 84, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member

    Nov 15, 2006, 07:51 PM
    Yes- her school is currently working on an identification program. I talked to a contact for Gifted Education Services and her teacher. Her teacher agrees that she is "highly able", I think was the phrase. They picked her for art club to encourage her artistic talent, but they have not yet started academic groups for the 1-5 grades. She is a full grade ahead on her reading level, and she has advanced communication skills. I think she talked before she crawled. They sent home a pamphlet for the Johns Hopkins giften student program, which is not associated with her school and not really close to home, but I am not sure about it- which is why I have been asking the questions. It requires commitment, so I want to make an informed decision. It could really stress her out if it is not right for her.
    LUNAGODDESS's Avatar
    LUNAGODDESS Posts: 467, Reputation: 40
    Full Member

    Nov 17, 2006, 02:09 PM
    Let see... if you believe you have a gifted child... great... what I am reading in the replies that your statement has started a real controversy regarding nature versus nurture... this argument will continue until whatever... so... should a parent push a child to achieve or should they just let it flow... I say do what is best for the child... Let's consider this situation... let’s look at the characteristic of your creative child(on the belief that the child is gifted)
    Rationally thinking creative individuals [Is your child reasonable in their thinking]
    • Self disciple, independent, often anti-authoritarian[ follows your direction without issues; does not want to be controlled]
    • Zany sense of humor[your child is funny, whacky]
    • Able to resist group pressure, a strategy developed early[will not follow the crowd]
    • Greater tolerance for ambiguity and discomfort
    • Little tolerance for boredom

    Feeling creative individuals
    • Un-frightened by the unknown the mysterious, the puzzling often attracted to it
    • More self accepting less afraid of what others would say; less need for the other people; lack of fear of over emotions impulses, and thoughts
    • Have more of themselves available for use for enjoyment, for creative purposes, waste less of their time and energy protecting themselves against themselves
    • Capacity to be puzzled
    • Ability to accept conflict and tension from polarity rather that avoiding them
    • Physical/Sensing Creative individuals
    • An ability to toy with elements and concepts
    • Perceiving freshly
    • Ability to defer closure and judgment
    • Ability to accept conflict and tension skilled performance of the traditional arts

    Intuitive creative individuals
    • Are able to withstand being thought of a uncharacteristic or unconventional
    • Are more sensitive
    • Have a richer fantasy life and greater involvement in day dreaming
    • When confronted with novelty of design, music or ideas, get excited and involved (less creative people get suspicious and hostile)

    Let me explain what I mean about nature versus nurture controversy... much of person’s ability is related to socio-cultural influences which are nurture as opposed to genetic factors [the parents blood line has proven strong in the academic/physical field] which is nature...

    There are books available to address your search... many are used by educators
    The source of this information is from “Excellence with Equity in Identification and Programming” by S. Richert. In the Handbook of Gifted Education, 2/E edited by N. Colangelo and G. Davis, 1997, page 79 and Growing up Gifted by Clark Brown

    So go to a professional educator within your school system and have your child tested... there are tested with in federal funded school called Child Find... check with your providence or city... walk in and say I believe I have a gifted child with special needs can you help find this out... and be supportive of the conclusion... isn't this fun... do not wait until your child get older find out now...
    posheak's Avatar
    posheak Posts: 51, Reputation: -1
    Junior Member

    Nov 24, 2006, 01:27 PM
    Everyone is gifted in his/her own unique ways. Its just that in life we get to meet people who are greater and lesser than we are. When we compare ourselves with the "lesser than us", we feel gifted. This is not the right attitude, the word here is not gifted but luckier. When we meet people who are far greater than we are, then we occupy the sit of that same "lesser than us person".

    GIFTED, this word is for everybody and owned by everybody so there is no need comparing or measuring how much you are above or below other individuals. We just have to be especially THANKFUL.

    Good day
    pumibel's Avatar
    pumibel Posts: 84, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member

    Nov 26, 2006, 01:38 PM
    I just want to thank everyone for their input here. My decision for now is to encourage Aud to do her best academically, and nurture her artistic abilities. She was chosen to join the art club and will have further stimulation with that. I figured out that it is probably too early right now for her to start accelerated programs. She doesn't even get letter grades yet. She loves science, so I am planning to get her involved with Girl Scouts too. This was the suggestion by her teacher.

    Thank you all!
    Mylittlesunshyne's Avatar
    Mylittlesunshyne Posts: 60, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member

    Nov 12, 2007, 08:55 PM
    Be more specific, Are you talking about Musical prodigies? Mathmatical prodigies?

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