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    aidytito's Avatar
    aidytito Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 17, 2007, 01:09 PM
    Gifted or not
    My question is: I have a 6 year old daughter that I think is gifted... she started to walk at 9 -10 months old... went from sitting to walking... has been talking very clearly since 10 months and does everything ahead... I have told the school that I think she is gifted and nothing has been done she is in kindergarten and seems very bored with the work and does not want to go to school... meanwhile at home she is always reading, writing (excessibly), uses a computer like nothing and likes to play with older kids and tires to babysit the ones her age... the school has done nothing and her teacher said that she is not allow to challenge her... I have tried to get her tested but can not afford the tests she needs... Any advise on what to do?? :)
    LouB's Avatar
    LouB Posts: 8, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Jun 4, 2007, 04:28 AM
    Testing usre can be expensive - unfortunately! You could find some of the surveys and checklists online that can show giftedness. Try http://www.hoagies.com or http://gtworld.org/gttest.htm for a starting point. These may provide enough evidence to get someone at the school to agree to test her. Do you have access to someone who can do a Brigance Test? They are usually free or very inexpensive and are a valid test for giftedness in grades K & 1.

    Can you put togther a "portfolio" of work she is doing at home, samples of things that would provide evidence of her advanced abilities? You could include photos and videos too if you can. Artwork and writing pieces, with descriptions that indictae why you think they are cognitively advanced. Print a few articles on idnetifying giftedness, drop off some reading material to the teacher and school if you feel bold enough too. At age 6 there are surveys your daughter could do herself as well.

    Get informed though, start resaerching (if you haven't already!) for the gifted road is along and sometimes rocky one! Join a local support group - they are everywhere and can be a goldmine of information and wonderful support (and they won't think you are bragging when you talk about how clever your child is). We should be entitled to celebrate our children, gifted or not. Just remember it's others' insecurities that caus ethem to judge... it is not you or your daughter's problem.

    Good luck!

    The school should be listening to you! They should be meeting her needs!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,292, Reputation: 7691
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    #3

    Jun 4, 2007, 06:01 AM
    I am not sure exactly what you wish the school to do ( the school has done nothing) They put her in classes, if she excels to a point above a certain level, and if your school gives end of the year progression tests.
    * often mandated by the state* this can show her level. Many schools will do a placement test out of kindergarten on those children with high enough scores.

    But not wanting to hurt your feelings, what you are describing sounds like a lot of kindergarten children. Many ( will not say most) read and write by the time they are out of kindergarten.

    Have you asked your school about placement tests to see what their skill level is. The largest trouble with public school, is if they do test ahead and are placed lets say into 2nd grade out of kindergarten, there is a lot of social skills and there will be some class work not done and the public school does not have the one on one or the private tutors to help a advanced child adapt to skipping a grade, where many private school or home schooling can.

    Also various school districts don't have special classes for gifted, or even programs for them.

    And in the end, we have to let the child have time to be a child also.
    LouB's Avatar
    LouB Posts: 8, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Jun 4, 2007, 06:24 AM
    You do need to let kids be kids - I'd agree with that for sure. However, the school need to meet her needs (full stop). School is designed for the middle 80%, the top 10% and bottom 10% have to fight for support and appropriate resources.

    By not paying heed to children's needs you end up with bored kids who become behvaiour problems, act out, and end up with damaged self esteem. Many gifted kids devlop poor social habits (because they are stifled) and as teens they eventually drop out of school. It's not until years later that people have actually worked out what went wrong... and if they had been nurtured properly they could have been extremely happy and successful. Obviously people find their way through life regardless but as parents we have a duty to oversee our children's journeys and make them as meaningful for them as we can (usually by simply providing access to experiences and opprotunities that respnate with the child themselves, and not by pushing in any way shape or form!).

    It is true that kids at 6 come out of kinder reading and writing (typically) but what of the 3 year odl that already reads and writes? Who can do simple math problems, who understand what climate change is etc? Are they going to be happy in K?

    The social issues are a myth, don't let people tell you that it's doom and gloom if you accelerate - decades of research show that is not at all true for gifted kids. Yet uninformed peole will always start by tellingyou that social/emotional issues will be the biggest worry of you do accelerate.

    I think people also need to get ove are thinking education is a race, to get out the most quick, to get to university younger. Parents of accelerated gifted kids often devise strategies that slow them down, by studying more broadly, by doing cultural exchanges etc. You deal with each case individually ad when the time comes you cross that bridge. You don't stifle them!

    When in life do we congregate with age based peers - only in school (because it is convenient for administration purposes). In REAL LIFE we want to be with people we relate to, people we find interesting, people we cantalk to as equals.

    And schools need to adapt (if they haven't already). Many are far more progressive than some people here would have you think. Seek the answers you need - trust your instincts. Parents are almost always right, teachers are not generally as accurate (though some are very informed and knowledgeable in the subject of course) in identifying giftedness.

    Good luck!
    ballengerb1's Avatar
    ballengerb1 Posts: 27,379, Reputation: 2280
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    #5

    Jun 4, 2007, 07:40 AM
    Walking early is not a sign of being gifted nor is sitting or talking. What other things have you observed that makes you think she may be gifted? I've lead schools for 35 years and never seen a program for kindergarten. Most don't even start testing until 2-4 th grade. What is her reading level and how does she play?
    Stratmando's Avatar
    Stratmando Posts: 11,188, Reputation: 508
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    #6

    Jun 25, 2007, 05:01 PM
    Old Post, but I agree with FR_Chuck, The school can do so much, If your kid excels, Provide material for them. Keep them active. Increse Physical and Technical challenges.
    carol_03's Avatar
    carol_03 Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Jun 27, 2007, 02:27 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by aidytito
    My question is: I have a 6 year old daughter that I think is gifted...she started to walk at 9 -10 mos old...went from sitting to walking...has been talking very clearly since 10 mos and does everything ahead...I have told the school that I think she is gifted and nothing has been done she is in kindergarten and seems very bored with the work and does not want to go to school...meanwhile at home she is always reading, writing (excessibly), uses a computer like nothing and likes to play with older kids and tires to babysit the ones her age...the school has done nothing and her teacher said that she is not allow to challenge her...I have tried to get her tested but can not afford the tests she needs...Any advise on what to do????:)
    I had the same problem as your when my son's aged is like your daughter. We thought that time also that my son is gifted, in a way yes, he is gifted. He become accelerated in his school , got many awards and medals. But we realize that later there is really something wrong with my kid. So we ask advise from his pedia and we consult a specialist then I found out that his behavior is due to his mild autism. His iq and eq is not level. He has a very high IQ but his EQ is not level to his age. I know that medication is kind of expensive but we have to do something now that be sorry later. Giving them extra activities is not the answer. We have to correct what is wrong in her.

    May be it can help you to determine any symphoms:
    1. is your daughter have an eye contact
    2. like to be alone
    3. doesn't like loud sound / noise

    Or I suggests read books or materials that had something about autism or alike.

    Happy reading god bless!
    julie_76180's Avatar
    julie_76180 Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Jun 30, 2007, 09:29 AM
    Hi,

    I am the mother of a gifted 8 year old--tested and placed... the first clues that he was 'different' began at about 6 months... he said 'papa' (his babysitter for the first 5 years of his life) when I was taking him by before work... he also was interested and watched TV (God please forgive me) at this age... from then on things only got more frustrating.

    It is hard for a parent to explain to people, 1-I am not bragging 2-I am not pushing and 3-my child is not getting what he needs. The pat answer is always let kids be kids, don't push, etc. Once, when my son was three and I was picking him up from 'Mother's Day Out', he was showing another kid about dinosaurs from a book, naming off names I couldn't pronounce much less figure out where he got the information from, I had his mother's day out teacher tell me, 'You can teach kids anything'. I took my son's hand and mumbled on the way out the door, 'Yea, but how many kids teach their parents things.'

    From kindergarten to the beginning of third grade, my son has had problems at school... by problems I mean, he spoke out of turn, cried easily, was easily frustrated and at times 'uncontrollable'. The school knew he was smart but really, even with the talented and gifted classes, had no place for him to fit in. During this time I followed the advice of coworkers, friends, family members... I didn't push him, nor did I share my concerns that he wasn't being challenged (he wasn't getting what he needed!).

    I thank God to this day for his third grade teacher who during our first parent teacher conference told me 'He is not ADHD, he is not immature, he is just very very smart and hasn't found a way to fit in yet. You need to help him by letting him know you understand he is having problems because he is different... not necessarily better but different. Be his advocate, be his supporter, but also be his parent by pushing him to do what you know he can do.' I took his teachers advice. I started demanding more from him, myself and from the school. Things got so much better.

    So do I think your child is gifted? I most certainly do. (parents are wrong only 4% of the time.)

    Should you have your child tested regardless of the costs? I most certainly do. But do not rely on school tests. Get an outside person recommended by parents of gifted children in your area, and have complete testing done. This is sometimes all that schools will appreciate.

    If I could do it all over again I would change the following things:
    1-I would never let anyone try to keep my son from being so sensitive. It is a sign of his unique abilities.
    2-I would talk less with people who did not have gifted children and do in my heart what I knew was best for my child.
    3-I would get the advice of an expert (the person doing the testing) and push the school to follow through with these suggestions.
    4-I would realize that my son and I both needed support and company from others that were just like us. Believe me they are out there, perserverance will help you find them.

    Good luck and God Bless (you're going to need both). But mainly I'll pray that you just keep keeping on, doing what you know in your heart is best. It's the hardest thing to do, but it is truly the only thing that works!
    stonewilder's Avatar
    stonewilder Posts: 420, Reputation: 99
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    #9

    Jun 30, 2007, 10:00 AM
    My son's school tested my son when he was in the 3rd grade. I was told that there are many factors in determining if a child is gifted other than the test alone such as grades,national test scores,recommendations from teachers for testing, etc. My son ranked as border line genus and I was very proud of this at first but I soon found that it is not necessarily a blessing for you or your child. I would suggest if you really believe your child is gifted that you prepare ahead. Raising a gifted child is much different than that of the average child. Find every book you can on gifted children read them and pray she is not gifted!
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,271, Reputation: 5643
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    #10

    Jun 30, 2007, 10:13 AM
    Having a gifted child is a mixed blessing really. You see a lot of it has to do with the preparedness of the parent.

    I have 2 gifted children.

    My daughter, who is 13, is a wonderful girl. Straight A's in school, never a problem, a caring, loving daughter and big sister.

    My son, who is 5, was just diagnosed gifted, yes I said diagnosed because it wasn't through any school test or any standardized test. He was in Pre-K this past school year and had to have a kindergarten physical. The local children's hospital (a renowned children's hospital) sent their mobile unit to the school for the physicals. Included in the physical was a test called a Brigance Test. When the screening came home he was diagnosed, by the doctor who performed the test, as gifted and further screening was recommended.

    Now he is just 5, but tested in the 8 year old + range for many portions of the test. I will not move him ahead in school as that can be as detrimental as holding a child back. But I do work with him at home. We have activities here at home that are more appropriate for his level of communication. His favorite word right now is "actually" and he frequently corrects me, especially in mathematics. LOL

    It is best if the parent is proactive in their child's education. Know the teachers (very well), get to know the Principal. They are so beneficial when it comes to the education your child receives.

    I am on a first name basis with our Principal and most of the teachers. Heck, we even have them over for dinner. They have developed a program for Johnny at school where his workbooks and activities are tailored to his individual needs.

    Again, have your child tested by a pediatrician or a children's hospital... be proactive in their educations... have developmentally appropriate activities at home.
    stonewilder's Avatar
    stonewilder Posts: 420, Reputation: 99
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    #11

    Jun 30, 2007, 10:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ballengerb1
    Walking early is not a sign of being gifted nor is sitting or talking. What other things have you observed that makes you think she may be gifted? I've lead schools for 35 years and never seen a program for kindergarten. Most don't even start testing until 2-4 th grade. What is her reading level and how does she play?

    I agree with what you are saying. There are reasons they wait before testing. I do however think there needs to be a way to detect it earlier for the sake of the child as well as for the parents and teachers. I think it is a shame that too many teachers do not understand any more than most parents do about what it means to have a gifted child. My son's 3rd grade teacher fought against my son going to the gifted classes. When she was unable to do anything about it she forced him to make up all the class work during the time he was in the gifted class and most of it was repetitive work that he needed only to do once. I found myself in a place where I thought my son should be doing the work the teacher assigned him yet having another teacher (gifted teacher) telling me that he didn't have to do the work she assigned him while he was in her gifted class. At the same time my son was growing more and more frustrated with school and was to the point of hating it where as before he loved it and thirsted to learn more. My son and I spent nearly that whole year stuck between two teaches fight. One that understood what a gifted child needed and another who thought it was just a made up thing that took kids away from their lessons. Thank God the school counselor just happen to spend the summer before at a seminar on gifted children. I don't know how my son or I would have gotten threw his 3rd grade year with out her.

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