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    Ailah's Avatar
    Ailah Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 6, 2016, 08:50 PM
    Where should I go if I run away
    Hi.
    So it's kind of hard to talk about this but at home it's not fair because my brother is only 5 and he has a bigger bed,room and more toys than me and he has a lot of things I want that he has but I don't and I'm 11!!
    I spend part time at my mom and step dads house than part time at my dads house and my brother only stays at my mom and step dads house.
    And my mom and step dad are really mean and they like my brother better and that's why he has better stuff than me.
    But at my dads house I'm an only child and he's really nice but I feel that I need parents and that will live together and support me so I can grow up feeling good.
    There was a time when as soon as I arrived at my mom and step dads house I would run to my ( small ) room and cry.I felt like poor Harry Potter under the cubbord. One more thing is I see a school counselor and I am yet to tell him about my family issues.
    I really want to run away.
    I want to be put into a foster home with two parents so as I said they can love me and support me as I grow up.
    One more thing that I trouble with is my family is not religious but...
    I am.
    I transformed myself to be a Christian.
    So my question really is how do I put myself into a foster home without my parents
    Knowing??
    Bye please answer ASAP
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,769, Reputation: 5427
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Aug 6, 2016, 09:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ailah View Post
    Hi.
    So it's kind of hard to talk about this but at home it's not fair because my brother is only 5 and he has a bigger bed,room and more toys than me and he has a lot of things I want that he has but I don't and I'm 11!!
    I spend part time at my mom and step dads house than part time at my dads house and my brother only stays at my mom and step dads house.
    And my mom and step dad are really mean and they like my brother better and that's why he has better stuff than me.
    But at my dads house I'm an only child and he's really nice but I feel that I need parents and that will live together and support me so I can grow up feeling good.
    There was a time when as soon as I arrived at my mom and step dads house I would run to my ( small ) room and cry.I felt like poor Harry Potter under the cubbord. One more thing is I see a school counselor and I am yet to tell him about my family issues.
    I really want to run away.
    I want to be put into a foster home with two parents so as I said they can love me and support me as I grow up.
    One more thing that I trouble with is my family is not religious but...
    I am.
    I transformed myself to be a Christian.
    So my question really is how do I put myself into a foster home without my parents
    Knowing??
    Bye please answer ASAP
    Please don't run away. Foster homes are almost always huge disappointments. And check back on this site now and then as people come online and see your post. Thanks!
    Ailah's Avatar
    Ailah Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Aug 6, 2016, 10:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Please don't run away. Foster homes are almost always huge disappointments. And check back on this site now and then as people come online and see your post. Thanks!
    Well what can I do I still feel like I don't belong
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,254, Reputation: 5642
    Expert
     
    #4

    Aug 6, 2016, 10:59 PM
    Feeling like you don't belong is not uncommon at your age. 5 year olds get more toys because they are harder to amuse. Toys for 11 year olds are more expensive and you are at the age where you are starting to be taught to be more responsible.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,769, Reputation: 5427
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #5

    Aug 7, 2016, 09:00 AM
    I can tell from your long post that you're a good writer with a lively imagination. Let's put that imagination to work. Until school starts, show your little brother how to invent stories with his toys. Help him create roads and garages for trucks and cars (my brother and I asked our Mom for materials -- empty shoe boxes, for instance), invent stories for stuffed animals and plastic people (my brother and I named each one and set up a farm and village situation). In other words, teach your brother how to play. Talk to your counselor for more ideas.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #6

    Aug 7, 2016, 09:10 AM
    "...at my dads house I'm an only child and he's really nice but.."

    Be glad for dad. Having a nice dad half the time is twice what half the world's kids have. Many have no parents, or two awful ones, or just one, and so on.
    I consider myself lucky now. When I was young, I wanted to run away too. My mother was mean and my father hid at work all day, and hid at home too. I thought he should have protected us (3 kids). I know now that his sweetness was all part of the package that a nice person is. It may take you years to realize it, and that's OK.

    50 years later, it was my turn to take care of my parents. I had always wanted to say to my mother that I was going to treat her the way she treated me. But I didn't, of course. And she was still a holy terror, right up til her death. Then I got to take care of my dad for another 5 years...

    Think of little ways you can show him that you appreciate him.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #7

    Aug 7, 2016, 11:51 AM
    Kiddo, life is hard, especially when you literally live in two homes all your life. But, life is what you make it.

    Have you talked to your mom and dad about how you feel? Maybe it's time to tell them.

    As for foster care, you have a very innocent view about what foster care is. Foster parents normally take on many kids, you'll be one of the many. You will likely have to share a room, may not even get your own bed. Their job is to make sure you're fed, clothed, educated, and that's it, and they're paid to do that. Loving you is not part of the deal, and the chance of finding a good foster family that will actually care about you, is like finding a needle in a haystack. The foster care system is horrible, and I wouldn't wish that on any child.

    As for running away... you're 11. How would you survive? You can't work, you can't get a place of your own. You'd likely end up selling your body just so you can have a bite to eat before you go to sleep in a storefront doorway. That's what happens to most runaways.

    You're 11, you're not 5. I can imagine that it would be hard to feel like you're not as loved as your brother. I can also see your moms point of view. Why leave the big bedroom empty for most of the time, only to be filled when you come and visit, when your brother is there full time and can use the bigger bedroom 24/7/365?

    You need to talk to your parents about how you feel, and talk to your therapist too. But really, if not having a bigger bedroom, and not having more toys, is your biggest issue, well you're luckier than most kids are.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #8

    Aug 7, 2016, 03:25 PM
    I hate to break the news to you but people don't become foster parents to love their wards... they get paid to take them in... if they really loved them they would adopt them. But you don't get to make that choice anyway. That's reserved for kids who lost both parents and may not have relatives to take them in... or kids living in really horrific situations they are taken from.

    Not getting as many toys as a younger sibling doesn't qualify as bad much less horrific. Besides at 11, you won't be playing with toys in another year or two, you will grow out of them.

    You get toys... foster kids almost NEVER do. You really don't have it bad even though you may have convinced yourself you do.

    I could tell you stories about what a friend of mine REALLY suffered through around your age... but it would give you nightmares and you might not understand most of it yet anyway.

    Here is an important lesson in life that applies to everyone, despite their age.

    Make the most of what you have, be happy with what you do have, and don't be upset over what you don't. No matter how poor you are, if you are on the internet.. there are a LOT of people far worse off than you are. And those people that do have more than you do? Think all of them are happy, No! Some of them are upset that someone else has more than they do too.

    STUFF, doesn't make you happy, if you aren't happy with what you do have....having even more of it isn't going to make any difference at all.

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