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    JessicaJ16's Avatar
    JessicaJ16 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 15, 2015, 08:43 AM
    How do I put myself in care?
    I'm 14 and I've been thinking about wanting to be in a care home since I was little, about 8 or 9. I've always been unhappy at home and with my family. A lot has happened I'm my past and I try to put it behind me or not let it get to me but I can't seem to do that. My dad used to hit me and so did my mum. My two older brothers used to get beaten my our dad and when my dad used to hit me they didn't do anything to stop. I felt like I didn't have anyone to talk to, I was always alone so I kept things to myself and bottle things up. My mum used to hit me only when I used to annoy her over small things and she always used to say to me how she never loved me, she wished I was dead, or that she never had me, she would always compare me to my brothers hoping that I would be more like them. She would always say how I should go into care and find a family that actually want me. She always gave me the impression that she never loved me or cared about me. Now that I've grown up a bit more and I'm able to say what I want without backing down, I want to do what's best for me. I don't want to carry on pretending that I'm happy when I'm clearly not. All I want is to start again, I've been through a lot and all I want is to be happy again. What do I do to end up in care??
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,254, Reputation: 5642
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    #2

    Mar 15, 2015, 08:57 AM
    The only way to get into foster care would be to report your parents to child protective services. They then will investigate for abuse. If abuse is founded, then you will be removed and your parents charged. They may even go to jail.

    Foster homes aren't all you think they are. You won't have a computer, cell phone, new clothes or shoes. Most likely you will be moved to another school away from your friends. Many foster parents only do this for the extra money they get each month.

    You will spend many hours in counseling each week. It's not really as glamorous as you think it is.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,918, Reputation: 10852
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    #3

    Mar 15, 2015, 09:25 AM
    You cannot put yourself in care. That's something done by your state agency, or county, or city. You can talk to a teacher, or responsible adult, but you will have no choices what they do about your situation, or where you end up.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #4

    Mar 15, 2015, 11:25 AM
    You have no clue what's best for you if you think going to a foster family is a better solution.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #5

    Mar 15, 2015, 01:29 PM
    What choices you may have are limited because of your age. They will also be limited by what your parents may or may not allow.

    You could report them, but that may not get you the results that you want... and could make things worse for you. Is your situation any different now that you are older? Are you the youngest?

    Sometimes another family member may intervene on your behalf... perhaps a trusted aunt, uncle, or grandparent. Again, that may or may not help your situation. You'd have to decide whether confiding in them would help your situation or possibly make it worse.

    If things are not as bad as they were when you were younger, perhaps keeping busy with school, and later with part time work, will help you avoid too much interaction with them until you are old enough to move out.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,280, Reputation: 7690
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    #6

    Mar 15, 2015, 06:30 PM
    If you are still actually being beaten, then yes, you need to get into a protective care. Also not children get put into foster care, but some will live in group homes. And often other kids have issues, fights with the other kids. In the foster homes, there are many great ones, but then there are many where you are a check, they get paid to watch you, and will not give love or really anything besides a room and food.

    If things are bad, you contact a teacher and tell them, see if CPS will investigate, they may do parenting classes for your parents, may see if another family member can take you in for a while. Or other things.

    If you are still actually being beaten, then yes, you need to get into a protective care. Also not children get put into foster care, but some will live in group homes. And often other kids have issues, fights with the other kids. In the foster homes, there are many great ones, but then there are many where you are a check, they get paid to watch you, and will not give love or really anything besides a room and food.

    If things are bad, you contact a teacher and tell them, see if CPS will investigate, they may do parenting classes for your parents, may see if another family member can take you in for a while. Or other things.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #7

    Mar 16, 2015, 12:25 AM
    I'd tell a teacher or social worker, get CPS involved, tell them you're being abused, and if that's really the case, you'll be removed and placed in foster care.

    You won't find a family that loves you and cares about you, it's foster care, not adoption. Most foster homes are temporary, you get moved around a lot, there's a higher risk of sexual abuse, and you won't get all the things you want, like cell phone, computer, new clothes, birthday gifts, christmas gifts, etc. etc.

    They feed you, they clothe you (usually second hand stuff), they give you a place to sleep, and that's about it. Normally there will also be other foster kids in the home, and many of them have been through things you can't even imagine.

    It's not a fun life. I have yet to meet someone that was in foster care, and I know many people that were, that thought it was a good experience.

    It's really up to you. How bad is it? If you're being abused, then it's bad, and you should be removed from your home. If you're exaggerating, which only you can know, than I'd rethink the whole foster care thing. You have to decide.

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