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    Ashleygil12321's Avatar
    Ashleygil12321 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 30, 2015, 07:42 PM
    How can I put myself into foster care??
    I cant stand my parents putting stress on me and trying to make me into someone I'm not! Im done! They yell at me for not being perfect!
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5645
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    #2

    Mar 30, 2015, 07:52 PM
    And you think foster care will be better?

    You won't have a phone, computer, tablet. You will have to change schools and move away from your friends. You will wear hand-me-downs

    Unless you are removed from the custody of your parents because they are abusive or neglectful, you won't get put into foster care.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,305, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Mar 31, 2015, 02:04 AM
    Guess you know nothing about foster care, if you think it would not be worst. In most cases they will demand you be someone other than what you are, you will have to obey their rules exactly. And as noted, they will not be supplying you willl lots of things, and have little concern about you, except that you obey rules exactly and stay out of their way.

    Often you may be in a home with several other foster kids, so fighting, bullying is common in some situations.

    With that said, you can not put yourself into foster care. You do not sound like you are abused, you are not beaten, you are not starved, but it sounds like they are trying to make you behave in a certain way.

    IF you were abused, you would report it to police or teacher, who would have CPS investigate and talk with your parents. first they would try and work out a parenting plan, to keep you in the home.
    If not possible, you go to a group shelter. You may end up staying in a shelter, depending on age, and location at least till foster care can be found. Then you are moved to where the foster care would be. This may be another part of your state even.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,284, Reputation: 10853
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    #4

    Mar 31, 2015, 03:54 AM
    To be put in foster care requires a state or local agency to investigate and find abusive or dangerous conditions in your home. Besides yelling, does this exist? How old are you? How are your grades and behavior and school, and home? Do you yell back, when yelled at?

    You better have a lot more than being mad at your parents for telling you what to do, and if you think foster parents will let you do as you please, think again.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #5

    Mar 31, 2015, 06:18 AM
    There is a show on the ABC Family network called the Fosters. I wonder is this is where children are getting the idea that going to a Foster family will solve their problems (note; I've never watched the show).

    But Ashley, you do not have a clue! While I'm sure there are foster parents who lavish love and affection on their charges, the norm is that foster parents just provide room and board for their charges and nothing else. There may be a computer in the home that you share, but you won't have your own phone or other luxuries. You probably won't even have your own room.

    Clearly your parents care about you, otherwise they would not be concerned when you make mistakes. It would be better for you to try to sit down and talk to them and manage their expectations of you.

    But to get into foster care you would have to report your parents as abusing you to a school counselor who would get family services involved. Your parents and home life would be investigated. Only if they found significant abuse would you be taken from them.

    You sound like an immature spoiled teen who needs to do some growing up.
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,001, Reputation: 468
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    #6

    Mar 31, 2015, 07:51 AM
    I have had foster children in my classes each year. How do I know? In 4th grade, their foster parents sent them to school with a Dora backpack and until I called them in to explain about clothing styles, etc, they did nothing. Once a month, the child received a new outfit. The rest had free school lunches and never had a packed lunch or snack. I only had one foster mom over the years that truly cared and was amazing. She was the exception. FYI: You'll hate it.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #7

    Mar 31, 2015, 10:49 AM
    The answer to your question is no you can't. Legally speaking, although this is my interpretation of what the law should be since family law is not my area, you have two parents who are your legal guardians. You cannot be a ward of the state (assuming USA) without the state stripping your parents of their guardianship. Therefore your parents would have to agree to this and then fund the foster parent effort. And what parent is going to do that?

    Think about a different approach. Instead of arguing with your parents about everything, try being thankful you have two parents who are concerned enough and want you to be a better person. In everything in life if something isn't working try changing your approach and I bet you will be happy with the results.

    I know an 11 year old boy who lost both parents to a drunk driver just before Thanksgiving. So sometimes sit back and count the blessings you do have.

    Btw ScottGem - The Fosters is a wonderful uplifting show. Season 2 ended a week ago last night and season 3 starts in 3 or 4 months.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #8

    Apr 2, 2015, 11:23 AM
    You sound like a very young teenager, who is more likely than not having hissy fits because you feel that you are some sort of victim of your parents expectations.

    Likely they walk on egg shells when you are around, because nobody knows when you're going to explode for the simplest of things. Getting you to have a conversation, instead of your preferred method of confrontation, is pointless.

    Why? Because you lack even the maturity to understand that communication itself involves a certain level of development, that you likely don't have.

    So. People, your parents particularly, probably just put up with you, hoping that you will mature enough to show respect, good judgment, and an ability to communicate without lamenting how lousy they are making your life, by being good parents.

    It has probably crossed their minds that IF you were in foster care, they'd get a break from your selfish and self centered ignorant ways.

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