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    vampire5674's Avatar
    vampire5674 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 13, 2013, 01:27 AM
    Can I be put into foster care, or do I just need to be put into a mental hospital?
    I am 16 years old right now. I have had the worst life for the last 8 years. When I was little my mom married and my step-dad was really strict but I didn't care, then they got divorced when I was 8 and my mom took it really bad. She was out every night at bars and casinos she couldn't hold a job very long at all. She would always come home drunk it was horrible. Eventually we couldn't make the house payment so we moved out with my grandparents when I was 10. My biological dad was never in the picture until I asked about him when I was 10. I met him and stayed with him a few times but then we lost contact for 6 years. I just met him again like 2 months ago but barely talk to him.

    Anyway when we moved with my grandparents it was OK but I slept on the floor, didn't bother me until I developed back problems. When I was in 9th grade I became super depressed and was cutting, I had cut before when I was younger but tried to stop. It just got worse over time, my mom was still never home, didn't have a job, and the money she did get was spent on the casino and beer, my grandparents supported me and my brother as much as they could but it wasn't the same. I had started drinking and doing pot, eventually my mom found out and I got in some serious trouble. When I would do something small that got my mom angry and I tried to explain myself like forgetting to do something she would slap me, but it wasn't a lot just every now and then. My mom always neglected me when I was around, but when I wasn't, she would get mad at me for not loving her anymore, and give me a big guilty trip about it. She used me and neglected me for a long time.

    When she found out I cut she called me a stupid idiot and threatened to put me in a mental hospital that second. She actually almost hit me. Eventually I made the decision to move in with my aunt and uncle in Moore. My mom didn't like that idea but gave in a few hours later. Now I never speak to her and I never see her because I don't want to, I'm better off with out her. I still cut, even when I try not to, I don't eat very much and I throw up my food when I eat it sometimes. I love living here but I just want to be away from all of my family. I feel I could do better without them all.

    Can I be put into foster care? Or do I need to be put into a mental hospital for a little while to stop my cutting and eating habits, and to fix my severe anxiety and depression? BTW I have been seeing a therapist for 2 years but it hasn't helped me that much. I am not taking medication but I think I need to. What do I do?

    Btw I live in Oklahoma
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,305, Reputation: 7692

    Jan 13, 2013, 03:30 AM
    No, you just need counseling,

    I am sorry for all of your troubles but you have a safe home, you have always had food to eat, and while many in the US may see sleeping on the floor as bad, it is not that uncommon in so many parts of the world, or not having a mattress and sleeping on bamboo ( which I did for about 6 months this year)

    So honestly you have it better than many people, and are looking at the bad or things from years ago that can't be changed.

    I don't see a reason for foster care since you have a safe place to live, have food to eat and are not in danger from anyone but yourself.

    You know cutting is wrong, why don't you just stop, it does not change a single thing in your life and is just a matter of self control,
    If not, you just need counseling to get though this.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert

    Jan 13, 2013, 03:42 AM
    Hi, I am not sure about the hospital, but I am sure that you don't want foster care. The odds of it being loving are low. You don't know if the family is taking you just for the money, and the money is small, so you aren't going to get all those little things teens like.
    Hospitals these days are very short term because they cost the state so much, and even if you have insurance, the insurers don't cover very many days. You have to be sent there by a doctor. Days are structured around group therapy that isn't really 'therapy' so much as lectures about coping with daily life and then talking about it. Helpful? I don't think so. You are articulate and express yourself well. You seem to understand where your problems come from. You haven't said that you are actively suicidal.
    I'm very sorry that your mother is so unloving.
    I hope you can appreciate your aunt and uncle. You say you love living there but then say you want to be away from all family. Can you elaborate? That sounds to me like you expect all your problems to go away, and they won't, no matter where you are, no matter how nice your surroundings are. Your aunt and uncle must really care - they are supporting you and they have to worry about your cutting and vomiting, and it must be a bit tough on them. Once in a while give them each a hug and say you are thankful. In fact you might even be able to open up to them about your mother and ask them what they think about your life. They might be good in a therapeutic way.
    I've had various therapists throughout my 66 years, and some were excellent and some were terrible. I wonder if you could find another one...
    Please answer back to comment on any of this you want. I could be wrong, or you might have more to add.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,297, Reputation: 10854

    Jan 13, 2013, 01:05 PM
    A different thrapist would be a better change than a foster family, or the psyche ward.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,977, Reputation: 5430
    Jobs & Parenting Expert

    Jan 13, 2013, 01:23 PM
    The therapy is for YOU. Therefore, it is YOUR responsibility to tell the therapist that what you two are doing isn't working for you. But of course, first have in mind what you want to happen and be willing to discuss what you posted here.

    Please post more in this thread. We want you to say more.
    Comeandgetme12's Avatar
    Comeandgetme12 Posts: 99, Reputation: -5
    Junior Member

    Jan 13, 2013, 01:26 PM
    You do not need foster care. The only reason you would ever be put it is if someone reports abuse or neglect or something or if both parents are in jail and they will come and ask you questions about the report they got and if you show that you are in danger or whatever they take you away, the first. Allways try to place you with nice family( like you Are with) if no one wants to take you then the state gets custody of you, wich costs them lots of money to feed you, clothe you + the payment for the foster parents( small) and they also pay for you casa or lawer or both as well as for all medical expenses, so of course the advisor this as much as possible. I understand that cutting is a nervier habit just like nail bitting and lots of stuff and it's difficult to break, although if you go to a hostpital they WILL drug you up & you will not be a normal person and may even be bad. So if you go try to get them not to drug you up, and ask your aunt and uncle to say something. I would say just therapy so you don't get drugged. TRY THE ICE METHOD: when you want to cut put ice on wrist. Professionals recommend this for awhile the. They suggest quit that and try using music or exercise or something not self injerious. Hope I helped

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