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    red_velvet00's Avatar
    red_velvet00 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 22, 2015, 06:01 PM
    Can I place myself in Foster Care?
    I am 15 yrs old, and I would like to move out to live on my own or a foster care. I am living with a mother who is emotionally, physically, and mentally abusive. I get yelled at out of nowhere, treated like , and called ", hoe, slut, whole, disturbed hoe, dumb , etc." I have been physically harmed she left bruises at times.. I have stayed at families house for about ONE DAY literally then she picks me up and forces me home. My Mother told me recently, she didn't love me, she hated me, she also said, to prove it she was serious about being out of her heart she handed me a bottle of pills and said I can proceed to kill myself and she won't rush me to the hospital this time, I do admit I make dumb mistakes, but I am learning.. I am tired of this, I have depression that is severe sometimes I won't eat nor drink anything not even think of food, it's that bad, and she is one of my depressive triggers, I have suicidal thoughts and all.. I am hiding my cell phone so she won't take it and pretending to do homework on this laptop so I can research how to get out of this place & using my phone to make sure I can contact people if something extreme happens. I have a therapist, and she had told Child Protective Services about my mother hitting on me, she saw the bruises and all, they came that exact day and talked to her, and me. I later tried my first suicide attempt because when they left it had gotten TERRIBLE. She makes up, and adds on things in her head and fights about it like it really happened.. I cannot deal with this anymore, I scared I will kill myself this time and will finish the job, I already started writing disturbing Goodbye letters to everyone it's that bad.. Yet I am scared my brother will be put into this and I don't want that knowing he isn't in it, and that is his mother and he doesn't want to see anything happen that will cause him to leave her or anything in between and I don't want to do that to him, I couldn't take that guilt.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Sep 22, 2015, 06:13 PM
    Simple answer.. No you can't. And 15... why do I not believe you are the best behaved innocent kid that has ever lived? Most teenagers act so badly and disrespectfully they drive their parents to say that in fits of rage. She is probably at wits end dealing with you from your behavior towards her. If you push anyone you can expect them to push back... particularly if they are your superior. Teenagers are a major cause... not the victim in most cases.

    When you turn 18 you can move out and do anything you can manage to pay for.

    Seriously... if Child protective services even thought there was a shred of truth to this... they would have acted. And yes your Therapist, or doctor or Nurse among others are legally bound to report these things to authorities..

    What you need is a new therapist... this one isn't working for you. Which isn't uncommon. Not every therapist is a good fit with just any patient. And you probably need.


    Also... if you think Foster Care is going to be so wonderful... think again... YOU get ONLY what they are required to give you.. clothes (not nice ones) food, and a roof. They don't have to give you any other stuff your parents would.

    Raise enough hell... and you might get YOUR wish... of course they would likely put your brother into foster care too somewhere else and you might never see him again.

    And the fact she IS paying for and taking you to therapy..proves she is not the evil person you claim.
    noname1213's Avatar
    noname1213 Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Jan 22, 2016, 06:02 PM
    Just move in with a friend or just save enough money to at least get a motel while you find a job and then just movie to a new city trust me I'm going through similar stuff I'm thinking if running away soonv
    Dchdman's Avatar
    Dchdman Posts: 226, Reputation: 17
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    #4

    Jan 22, 2016, 06:40 PM
    From my knowledge of the Foster Care system , no you can't unless you took your own parents through the court system and gave a judge enough evidence that they had abused you.

    Or

    The Foster Care system had done an investigation and found you had been abused and decided to remove you from your family.

    Also I wouldn't even think unless you are being abused of being placed into Foster Care , As you are a older age plus a number of other factors it could be sometime before you are placed with a family.

    Once you are placed with a family will it be better , you most likely may not be the only child, you may get given hand me down stuff, no PC , Phone , Tablet , TV can also be a reality, strict rules etc.

    You are very lucky to actually still have both your parents. I suggest suck it up for now and when you get a job then if you want to move out.

    @ Noname

    Running away is a bad idea, special if you want the police searching for you.

    It's better to tell them your moving out than to just run away.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #5

    Jan 22, 2016, 06:53 PM
    I am so sorry you're going through this. That should have been the first sentence from anyone responding to this post. Sadly CPS sucks, and doesn't always work for kids that need their help. That's the way it is.

    Now for reality. Sadly being put into foster care would require either your mother giving you up for adoption, or CPS or some other entity finding your mother unfit and removing you from the home. Also, foster care is not good. It's a nightmare compared to what you're dealing with now. The majority, 99% or more, of the foster homes out there, only do it for the money. There are very few foster families that will actually help you in any way. You'll just be a number, a pay check.

    You're 15. In 3 years you're an adult and you can get out of this home. Easy for me to say, because I don't live there. But to me, as an adult, and knowing the other options you have, I think that sticking it out for another 3 years, then leaving it all behind, is the best option.

    I wish I could bring you to my home, and give you the care you deserve, but I can't. It breaks my heart that you're dealing with this. No child should have to. Sadly, it's the way it is now. Make me sick.

    The system is broken. CPS doesn't do what it's supposed to, time and time again. Keep reporting, keep talking about it, make everyone hear you, and hopefully someone in power will do something. Never give up your voice! But, if they don't do anything, which is the norm, then 3 years. 3 years! Do your best in school, hide yourself at home, work hard and then at 18, leave and get a better life. You can do this! I believe in you! You are more than what you live through. You can get past this and have a great life despite your beginnings.
    red_velvet00's Avatar
    red_velvet00 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jan 23, 2016, 05:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Simple answer.. No you can't. And 15... why do I not believe you are the best behaved innocent kid that has ever lived? Most teenagers act so badly and disrespectfully they drive their parents to say that in fits of rage. She is probably at wits end dealing with you from your behavior towards her. If you push anyone you can expect them to push back... particularly if they are your superior. Teenagers are a major cause... not the victim in most cases.

    When you turn 18 you can move out and do anything you can manage to pay for.

    Seriously... if Child protective services even thought there was a shred of truth to this... they would have acted. And yes your Therapist, or doctor or Nurse among others are legally bound to report these things to authorities..

    What you need is a new therapist... this one isn't working for you. Which isn't uncommon. Not every therapist is a good fit with just any patient. And you probably need.


    Also... if you think Foster Care is going to be so wonderful... think again... YOU get ONLY what they are required to give you.. clothes (not nice ones) food, and a roof. They don't have to give you any other stuff your parents would.

    Raise enough hell... and you might get YOUR wish... of course they would likely put your brother into foster care too somewhere else and you might never see him again.

    And the fact she IS paying for and taking you to therapy..proves she is not the evil person you claim.
    So your telling ME, I am in COMPLETE WRONG when I TRY. I set goals for myself, Like College, SAT PREP, getting my own job, Keeping my grades in order, Studying, and getting my license since I'm now 16, and she tells me its a waste of time because I most likely won't live that long. I am called lazy because I had pain so bad I couldn't move, and disrespectful because I said I tried to explain it but I guess that's talking back huh? A PARENT wouldn't hand you pills and try to force you to take the whole bottle because they said they wanted you to die and kill yourself she did this. I almost died because I couldn't breathe and couldn't speak because it was that bad, and she handed me a PLASTIC bag & walked out.. My brother and his friend had to help me, because I started turning purple. My very own mother told me it was MY CHOICE to be raped by 3 guys I didn't know. Yes I did look at Foster Homes as a option because I needed to get away and ASAP, I never said it was so good , nor peaches and crème. I was exploring my opinions, people do that when they get desperate. I am aware I do bratty teen things that will serve me consequences. I am also aware my parent doesn't act like a parent is supposed to act.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #7

    Jan 23, 2016, 06:23 PM
    Your options are to have your mother declared unfit, at which point the state will remove you from the home and place you in foster care. Sadly it's not that easy. So keep reporting every incident, keep calling. Hopefully, if this is really going on, and really we only have your version to go by, then you'll be placed in foster care, and your mother will go to jail for child abuse.

    Another option is becoming an emancipated minor. Also not easy. You'll have to look up what the criteria is where you live, but most states require you to be in school, have a job, have the means to rent your own place, and pay all your own bills.

    I'm sorry that you're going through this. Look into all the options you have, and above all, every incident of abuse, call the cops, report it!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,284, Reputation: 10853
    Expert
     
    #8

    Jan 23, 2016, 06:34 PM
    You want to explore your options? Telling a RESPONSIBLE adult your horror story and let them HELP you out of this terrible situation. Maybe it gets your mom and your whole family some help too.


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