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Dani87 · Jan 23, 2011, 06:12 PM

I live in NY. I have a 1 year old son who's father has NEVER taken the time to be with him. The only time he has ever seen our son is for a DNA test because he didn't believe my son was his. I have full custody. He has open visitations but has never tried to see him. I've told him that all he has to do is get a hold of me and he hasn't wanted anything to do with him since the day I told him I was pregnant. I am looking into moving out of state. Would I have to take him to court for me to be able to move or could I just inform him in writing with a advance notice of where and when we are going?

cdad · Jan 23, 2011, 07:06 PM

You should go to court to modify the custody order. If you don't then you could be held in contempt for interfering. Even at this time he is not visiting you can take that up with the judge.

Why do you want to move out of state?

Dani87 · Jan 23, 2011, 07:17 PM

I have an awesome opportunity that may be coming up in about 8 months to move to FL. My mom is also possibly moving there. My boyfriend (who has been a part of my sons life since he was born) may have a good job offer given to him.

cdad · Jan 23, 2011, 07:49 PM

Originally Posted by Dani87

I have an awesome opportunity that may be coming up in bout 8 months to move to FL. My mom is also possibly moving there. My boyfriend (who has been a part of my sons life since he was born) may have a good job offer given to him.

What is so awesome for you and the child? The boyfriend has nothing to do with this.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 23, 2011, 08:15 PM

The only safe way, is to go though the court and get his permission. If you move without it, and he wants to cause trouble, he can file to have the child returned, even if you win, you would have to return to NY to fight it in court there.

Dani87 · Jan 23, 2011, 08:18 PM

Fr_Chuck Thank you for actually answering my question that I was asking. I was thinking going through the court would be my best bet I just figured I would try to find out if anyone knew what was actually required. Thank You.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 23, 2011, 08:26 PM

You ask for the custody agreement ( you make a motion and provide a new agreement to be put into place) that allows you to move out of state with the child.

The other ( and not 100 percent up on this one in NY) but you can ask for the boyfriend to adopt the child, not sure if NY requires you to be married first or not.
But even then the ex has to sign over his rights for that also.

But if ex does not visit, I can't image he would fight you leaving the state.

cdad · Jan 23, 2011, 08:27 PM

Dani87 does not find this helpful : Rude and uncalled for!!

As rude as you think it may sound. That will also be the courts position. Its not about you its about the child. And if you don't have a valid reason to leave then its going to be tougher to convince the courts.

And yes your boyfriend has no standing in all of this. He has no legal ties to the child.

Dani87 · Jan 23, 2011, 08:29 PM

I don't believe he will either. From what I understand he is also looking to move out of here for work in Ohio. Thank you very much though! You were very helpful :-)

Dani87 · Jan 23, 2011, 08:32 PM

Califdadof3 I have a job background that I can take ANYWHERE because it's a job that is always needed. So what's the best interest? I will be able to provide my son with the things he needs and plus some seeing how the ex doesn't pay his part at all... Believe me if you actually knew the entire story I don't think any judge is going to make it harder on me. If anything it would be him... but thanks anyway