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    Becky1980's Avatar
    Becky1980 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 30, 2007, 08:03 PM
    Why does anyone sign away parental rights, if they still pay child support?
    I've been doing lots of reading up on signing away parental rights, and have read over and over that you are only signing away your rights, not your responsibilities or obligations.

    What I don't understand, is, why would a father choose to sign over his parental rights, yet still be obligated to fulfill all of his responsibilities?

    I am trying to get the biological father of my 2 year old son to do just that (he has been found mentally unstable by the court, and I would rather have him our of our lives than his child support money) but I can't see any reason why he would sign this if he still has to pay child support.

    Can anyone help me out with understanding this a bit more? I don't care about the child support, I just don't want him to be able to disrupt our lives anymore. He ignores my son for months at a time, then comes back for a supervised visit every few months, then just abandons him again. He's already abducted him once, and really, at the end of the day, everyone would be better off if he could sign those rights away, but I just don't see any advantage in it for him.

    Today on the phone he told me "Either you give him to me for two weekends a month, or I won't have anything to do with him."

    Easy choice, really, for any father who would say that.

    Thank you!
    Ladyviper's Avatar
    Ladyviper Posts: 221, Reputation: 36
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    #2

    May 30, 2007, 08:04 PM
    So the step parent can adopt them seems to be the most common. Other than that, I don't know. I would never sign off my rights to a child I brought into this world. Maybe he feels that he will not be a good influence over the child's life, perhaps it is not for selfish reasons.
    Becky1980's Avatar
    Becky1980 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    May 30, 2007, 08:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ladyviper
    So the step parent can adopt them seems to be the most common. Other than that, I don't know. I would never sign off my rights to a child I brought into this world. Maybe he feels that he will not be a good influence over the child's life, perhaps it is not for selfish reasons.

    Well, that would require him to want to be cooperative, which he is not. He will not do anything to benefit his son or myself unless there is some gain in it for him.

    So really, adoption is the only real purpose to sign away paternity? I believe I've also read that adoption is the only way child support payments can cease. So if I'm understanding this correctly, the only way he can get out of paying child support is if our son is adopted by my husband? And there is no benefit at all to him in signing his rights away?

    Bless you all so much, I have an appointment with my lawyer tomorrow about all this, and want to go in knowing as much as possible, much cheaper to do the bulk of the research myself than have my lawyer explain this to me at $250 an hour. We're in over $5,000 with this custody battle so far. At about $4000 into it I learned to write my own depositions :)

    Becky
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,303, Reputation: 7691
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    #4

    May 30, 2007, 08:32 PM
    Often first he does not understand he may still have to pay, and often the person with custody of the children will have a "understanding" that they will not enforce the child support, and if they can trust them, and if the children does not end up going on welfare where the state starts to collect the support, it can work.

    In other cases where the father has just been absent the mother with custody will file to have the rights taken away because he deserted the kids,

    But often the dad has tried to see the kids but the mom won't let him, he can't afford to do anything, we tell them to get an attorney but I know many people can't buy a pizza, they are broke, so they are not going to get an attorney. So they get tired of trying and just give up.
    kcomissiong's Avatar
    kcomissiong Posts: 1,166, Reputation: 276
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    #5

    Feb 11, 2011, 10:26 AM
    I actually don't believe that this is the case. When an adoption occurs, all parental rights and responsibilities are terminated and granted to the adoptive parent. This includes the right and responsibility of support (at least in Virginia). An adoption will terminate a current support order. What it will not do is make any arrears disappear. Those are still owed to the parent and in some cases, the state.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4600
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    #6

    Feb 11, 2011, 10:28 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by kcomissiong View Post
    I actually don't believe that this is the case. When an adoption occurs, all parental rights and responsibilities are terminated and granted to the adoptive parent. This includes the right and responsibility of support (at least in Virginia). An adoption will terminate a current support order. What it will not do is make any arrears disappear. Those are still owed to the parent and in some cases, the state.

    This is a question from 2007, a long dead thread.
    kcomissiong's Avatar
    kcomissiong Posts: 1,166, Reputation: 276
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    #7

    Feb 11, 2011, 10:29 AM
    Comment on JudyKayTee's post
    Ahhi hate these question suggestions!
    carolinelee's Avatar
    carolinelee Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jun 29, 2011, 03:13 AM
    Do you think that to be prejudice in this manner is helping. Would you like your parental rights taken away from you because you had a mental illness. Maybe you would be a lot more sympathetic if he had cancer.
    carolinelee's Avatar
    carolinelee Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jun 29, 2011, 03:18 AM
    I feel sorry for your ex partner. Would you like all your parental rights taken away from you because you had a mental health disability. Maybe you would be more sympathetic if your ex partner had cancer. Give him a break and let him be a father and have a relationship with his so. You would demand to see your son if you did not see him often. This child has rights to a family and that means both his parents. Mothers should not play god when they think it is up to them alone to allow the father to take part in the fathers life. It is up to both parents to provide and give a child love. No women would like it if it was the other way round. I think your ex is going through enough. Maybe you should be supporting him rather then adding extra stress in his life. Have a think and do what's best for you child and not what is best for you. Get supervised access arranged if you have any worries about your child seeing dad alone
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4600
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    #10

    Jun 29, 2011, 05:35 AM

    Time to close - ?
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #11

    Jun 29, 2011, 07:40 AM

    This thread is THREE YEARS OLD.

    Please watch dates when responding.

    In addition, this is a LEGAL board. Moral advice is fine--if you have your LEGAL advice correct first. Please refrain from posting on the legal boards if you cannot adhere to LEGAL advice.

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