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    kazirika's Avatar
    kazirika Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 8, 2009, 06:57 PM
    What are the steps in filing for full custody?
    My fiancÚ has put my child in day care and I'm not allowed to know where it is. He says that because I get angry fast means that I am going to harm or kill my baby which is total crap. I may slam a door in frustration but I am not violent to her.

    He says that he has filed for full custody of our daughter and that by him doing so means I can't see her unless he says so. But he refuses to show me any papers stating any proof also he says that just by him filing for it (he does not have a lawyer BTW) that all rights I had to her are null and void. What do I do? He says that he will bring her back if I get on medication for depression of which I have done. I don't want the relationship to go to , but how do I prove to him that he has to tell me where she is?
    SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME> ANY INFO WOULD BE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Oct 8, 2009, 07:06 PM

    You go to Court and file for support and custody - and do it immediately!

    And quite bluntly here is my problem - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ml#post1998077.

    You have no affection toward the baby, which you have admitted. He does. You have said you don't want to be around the baby. He does and he has apparently taken full responsibility for her.

    If you go to Court there is a possibility he will be awarded custody, claiming you are unfit and a danger to the child.

    That is the legal answer - the personal/medical answer is, of course, far more supportive.
    kazirika's Avatar
    kazirika Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 8, 2009, 07:15 PM
    Those unnatural affection problems have gone and I have many people to acknowledge this, I miss my child I'm worried about her . I have done everything I can to prove I'm a loving mother but he is doing this illegally and I know it. I just want to know if one [parent does not agree with the full custody thing does the parent trying to take custody need a lawyer or attorny in order to file for it at all?. I need to know what my rights are and if I talk to the legal system and then find out he really didn't do it then they will wind up involved anyway. AND I Don't WANT THAT.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Oct 8, 2009, 07:19 PM

    You file for custody and support and the Court interviews all of the parties, evaluates everyone, makes a determination which is in the best interest of the child.

    No, you don't need an Attorney to file or present your casde.

    There is no "illegality" here - he has the same parental rights you have. He will argue that he is protecting your child. Medical records, witnesses, past behavior will prove him right or wrong.

    So file the petition tomorrow.

    In the meantime - he's your fiancÚ and you intend to marry this guy?

    I don't understand how your problems interacting with the child were solved between 9/25 and today but that is for you to prove and for your fiancÚ to argue.

    So go to Court and file a Petititon.
    kazirika's Avatar
    kazirika Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Oct 8, 2009, 07:27 PM
    :( unfortunately this is very complicated for anyone to understand fully. Yes I want to marry him I believe this is just a stunt for me to curb my anger. Which it has successfully done. I'm on meds and I talk to a councillor who says I am no danger to her . But the fact he refuses to give me proof. I have received nothing in the mail about the custody thing. . Is there a site that would give me enough information that shows him I am still allowed to know where she is and that I'm still allowed to have her home with me. My daughter is only a month old and should not be in day care. I'm the one paying all the bills and rent with my mat leave because he is not bringing money in. and he works away from home Monday to sat. and he is keeping her in a daycare for over 14 hours at a time and bringing her to the job site sleeping in a small mobil trailer in which the heater does not work... I want her home safe and warm. I just want to find a way to prove to him that I caught him in his lie.(please don't raz me on my decision of being with him still)
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #6

    Oct 8, 2009, 08:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by kazirika View Post
    :( unfortunatly this is very complicated for anyone to understand fully. Yes I want to marry him i believe this is just a stunt for me to curb my anger. which it has successfully done. im on meds and i talk to a councillor who says i am no danger to her . but the fact he refuses to give me proof. i have recieved nothing in the mail about the custody thing. . is there a site that would give me enough information that shows him i am still allowed to know where she is and that im still allowed to have her home with me. my daughter is only a month old and should not be in day care. im the one paying all the bills and rent with my mat leave because he is not bringing money in. and he works away from home monday to sat. and he is keeping her in a daycare for over 14 hours at a time and bringing her to the job site sleeping in a small mobil trailer in which the heater does not work .... I want her home safe and warm. i just want to find a way to prove to him that i caught him in his lie.(please dont raz me on my decision of being with him still)

    I don't understand what "proof" you need that show you are allowed to know where your daughter is. YOU HAVE TO GO TO COURT AND FILE FOR CUSTODY OR SHARED CUSTODY. He has the child, he has rights as the father, he is withholding the child from you. You have the same rights but in this case possession is 99% of the law - and, yes, I realize we are talking about a child.

    Anger issues? I thought you didn't have anger issues and simply couldn't bond with the child.

    In your opinion the child should not be in day care. Unfortunately, many mothers work and place their month old child in day care. This is not against the law.

    I have no idea what lie you think you caught him in - he is entitled to withhold the child from you until you go to Court and get an Order to the contrary. It's as simple as that.

    I have already warned you what could happen when you go to Court.

    If he is keeping your child in dangerous conditions - no heat in the trailer - then you owe it to your child to call whatever Child Welfare Service is in your area and report this. She cannot report it herself, obviously, and you believe she's in danger.

    And as far as marrying him - well, it's your life (obviously) but I simply do not understand your decision. He has taken your child, you claim he is maintaining the child in a dangerous place (a small mobile home with no heat), your interest is catching him in a lie - and you are going to actually marry this guy? Yes, I guess you are.

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