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    AMLEE91's Avatar
    AMLEE91 Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Feb 20, 2007, 11:03 AM
    What is considered an unfit parent
    I know someone( a neighbor) who has 2yr old daughter and she parties every weekend either at a club or at home and the little girl is around if she is partying at home and if she goes out she lets whoever watch her. She does receive child support but makes up excuses every time the father wants to see her. Is this considered some type of neglect or could she be deemed as unfit. Her mother and sister even say she should just let the father raise her but she says as long as she is getting money for her she won't.
    pinkee's Avatar
    pinkee Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Feb 20, 2007, 11:30 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by AMLEE91
    I know someone( a neighbor) who has 2yr old daughter and she parties every weekend either at a club or at home and the little girl is around if she is partying at home and if she goes out she lets whoever watch her. She does receive child support but makes up excuses everytime the father wants to see her. Is this considered some type of neglect or could she be deemed as unfit. Her mother and sister even say she should just let the father raise her but she says as long as she is getting money for her she won't.
    She is unfit. A parents job first and foremost is to protect and love their children, at the cost of their own social activities! The little girl is at risk. To many times you see in the news little kids being killed and molested this is the situation this happens in the most!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7691
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    #3

    Feb 20, 2007, 12:07 PM
    It is unfit by my standard but most likely far from unfit by court and legal standards. As I mentioned in other similar posts, I had one case where the women slept with men every day in her trailer for money, went out drinking at night and most liekly used drugs ( never proved the drugs) they had photos of the inside of her trailer showing trash up and down the hall.
    They had a list of men she had been sleeping with, and she admitted all of it in court.
    She would leave 3 children alone for hours oldest under 8.

    Guess what court left them with the mother and merely raised the child support on the father to help pay for a baby sitter.

    So while it is in the eyes of any moral person, in our very liberal society today it is far from bad.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #4

    Feb 20, 2007, 06:37 PM
    Check with your county Social Services. Check with your state's Attorney General's office on your state's definition of "unfit parent". Report what you see about this person and her lack of care to her daughter.

    As Fr. Chuck stated, it may or may not make a difference in that child's life. My youngest brother went through that with his ex-wife. He sued for total custody after his son told him about the men his mom wanted him to call "uncle" and other related things that went on (drinking, pot, sex parties that my nephew was exposed to). The judge even asked my nephew about it and my nephew told the judge the same thing. The judge ruled in the mom's favor, saying that while my brother had a set of standards that he expected his son to raised with, society did not accept those same standards.

    But you do what you need to do. Reporting such neglect is the right thing. You might be the one to help make a difference for that little girl. Good luck.
    Nosnosna's Avatar
    Nosnosna Posts: 434, Reputation: 103
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    #5

    Feb 20, 2007, 06:46 PM
    A bad parent is much different from an unfit parent.

    So long as the child is fed, cared for, not left unattended, and not exposed to unnecessary risk, it doesn't usually fit the legal definition of an unfit parent.

    Report your concerns, and urge the father to pursue legal avenues for visitation at the least. Maybe the attention from the courts will convince the mother to shape up.
    AMLEE91's Avatar
    AMLEE91 Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Feb 22, 2007, 06:28 AM
    Thank all of you for your time I will let you know if anything comes of the situation.
    leilaa111's Avatar
    leilaa111 Posts: 65, Reputation: 5
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    #7

    Jun 4, 2007, 07:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by AMLEE91
    I know someone( a neighbor) who has 2yr old daughter and she parties every weekend either at a club or at home and the little girl is around if she is partying at home and if she goes out she lets whoever watch her. She does receive child support but makes up excuses everytime the father wants to see her. Is this considered some type of neglect or could she be deemed as unfit. Her mother and sister even say she should just let the father raise her but she says as long as she is getting money for her she won't.
    That's a unfit mum and a selfish mum if she loved her daugter she wouldn't let her daughter be in such crowd but by court laws that's not enough
    1badchoice's Avatar
    1badchoice Posts: 227, Reputation: 45
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    #8

    Jun 4, 2007, 07:32 PM
    Aside from abuse or neglect... being an unfit parent is a matter of values, ideals, personal beliefs. It's one of the first things taught in child welfare. People have a right to raise their children with whatever beliefs, values, lifestyle they want... As long as there is no abuse or overt neglect most judges will not remove a child. The best bet is for the other parent to initiate a change of custody hearing. The other parent asking for a change is going to hold more influence over a judge. As well, keep documentation of everything. It may seem wrong however it's one of the only ways to protect parents who hold varying beliefs in both lifestyle and values. Cathy
    lashana's Avatar
    lashana Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    May 14, 2008, 05:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by AMLEE91
    I know someone( a neighbor) who has 2yr old daughter and she parties every weekend either at a club or at home and the little girl is around if she is partying at home and if she goes out she lets whoever watch her. She does receive child support but makes up excuses everytime the father wants to see her. Is this considered some type of neglect or could she be deemed as unfit. Her mother and sister even say she should just let the father raise her but she says as long as she is getting money for her she won't.
    Yeah well id say its called plain stupidity and there's no law in who watchs her daughter why she is out in the weeknd however she should most definitely not be having parties why her girl is around that is something that she doesn't need to be objected to and she should never stop the father from seeing he's child unless she has good reasons not to.
    jakorrismom's Avatar
    jakorrismom Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Dec 29, 2009, 12:10 PM
    My soon to be ex tells me that if I do anything crazy (he means file for child support) that he will try to get full custody of my son. I don't drink and don't smoke and all the money I have made in the last three years is in the bank with his and my name is not in the account. He says that he will provide for our son but I will be moving back home with my parents without a job and no money. He has agreed to give me half of the 3000.00 he will get from filing income tax. To all out there never put your money with anyone who is not legally your husband. You will always get short end of the stick
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4600
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    #11

    Dec 29, 2009, 04:05 PM

    You have opened a thread from May 2008 - more than a year old.

    I appreciate the warning but this is an advice board. Do you have a question?

    The legal advice is that you appear to be making agreements with your husband outside of the Courtroom - that's a mistake. Get an Attorney and let him/her handle this. You are resigning yourself to losing everything and that is probably not the law in your State.

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