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Llrshas · Apr 27, 2008, 03:42 PM

Hi I have a question. I want to have a child with someone but he told me that we have to sign papers before we try to conceive so that he doesn't have to pay child support or be apart of the baby's life can that be done.

JudyKayTee · Apr 27, 2008, 03:47 PM

Originally Posted by Llrshas

hi I have a question. I want to have a child with someone but he told me that we have to sign papers before we try to conceive so that he doesn't have to pay child support or be apart of the baby's life can that be done.

In a word - no. You can't waive your rights... or your child's rights.

Why does this sound like a good idea to you? You'd be better off with an anonymous sperm donor and he also - if he has no interest in having a child - is taking a risk that at some time in the future you'll change your mind and go after him for support - for 18 to 21 years. Or beyond.

Llrshas · Apr 27, 2008, 03:54 PM

If I am still legally married but have been separated for over 2 years will my husband be responsible for child support for a child that isn't his if the baby's father doesn't sign the birth certificate.

nikosmom · Apr 27, 2008, 04:02 PM

I agree with Judy, why would you "want to have a child" with somebody that is telling you he doesn't want to be a father? I don't know how old you are, but I'm sure if you wait a little while, someone worthy of fathering a child with you will come along.

N0help4u · Apr 27, 2008, 06:18 PM

I am not quit following who's who but
You can file for child support and he can deny he is the dad. Then try to get a paternity test to prove his denials are wrong

lawanwadee · Apr 27, 2008, 06:25 PM

Do not put your husband's name in birth certificate ever!
Leave father's name in birth certificate blank, and file for paternity suit.

George_1950 · Apr 27, 2008, 06:56 PM

Why should your husband be responsible for child support for a child that is not his?

Fr_Chuck · Apr 27, 2008, 07:23 PM

There are a couple states where the husband can be held liable, unless this is a legal separation ( formal separation papers done) But you need to file for support from the real father, anything else is legally and morally wrong

JudyKayTee · Apr 28, 2008, 06:05 AM

Originally Posted by Llrshas

If I am still legally married but have been separated for over 2 years will my husband be responsible for child support for a child that isn't his if the baby's father doesn't sign the birth certificate.

If I read your other post correctly you are considering having a child with a "friend" who wants to sign off his paternity rights and you think it's a good idea?

I think these threads should be combined because one explains the other.

It doesn't help anyone - the OP, the people donating their time and trying to be helpful - when half of the story is posted here and the other half posted there. At best it's somewhat misleading.

JudyKayTee · Apr 28, 2008, 06:07 AM

Originally Posted by nikosmom

I agree with Judy, why would you "want to have a child" with somebody that is telling you he doesn't want to be a father?? I don't know how old you are, but I'm sure if you wait a little while, someone worthy of fathering a child with you will come along.

Because she's married to someone else - there's another question on another thread. (I think I just answered my own question.)

Fr_Chuck · Apr 28, 2008, 06:08 AM

I am missing the other thread also, But your "husband" can get out of paying child support by merely proving he is not the father by DNA.
Even in states that hold the husband liable they allow for a challenge within a certain period of the father being aware of this

ScottGem · Apr 28, 2008, 06:14 AM

I've merged your two threads because they tell a different story when taken together then when viewed separately.

What it looks like, when taken together, that you want to have a child with someone who has stated they will not support it and beyond that, you want to stick your estranged husband with the bill!!

If you can't afford to have a child then DON'T!! If you try to stick your estranged husband a paternity test will release him from obligation. If you try putting his name on the because when you know it wasn't his, you could be charged with fraud.

As for this loser who wants the fun but not the responsibility, no way can you sign away support for your child. If you try to collect public assistance, then will go after the father for reimbursement regardless of what you signed.

You want to have another child, then get married first!

tishsuz · Apr 28, 2008, 09:46 AM

No, No, No. Why not wait until you are in a healthy relationship with a man who wants to share this important event with you. You are setting yourself and the child up for a lot of struggles, both financially and emotionally.

nikosmom · Apr 28, 2008, 04:15 PM

Thanks Judy and Scott for explaining the threads should be merged! I went back and read my response and didn't recall "part II" being there when I initially replied. It does indeed tell a different story once merged...

I agree with tishuz, that it'd just be easier to wait on having the baby. Let the dust settle from the separation/divorce (assuming a divorce is on the way) and hold out for a healthy relationship with someone willing to be part of the you and the baby's life. Save everyone involved the headache, heartache, and hassle.

Izannah · Apr 28, 2008, 04:24 PM

I'm thinking that she is asking (from one of the threads... if this were a bed sheet it'd be 200 count Egyptian cotton!) is not that she WANTS to stick her estranged husband with the responsibility of child support but is asking IF he would be held responsible for the child support since they are still married and Mr. Johnny Apple-sperm just wants to spread his seed without being responsible for it.

If that's what you are asking, you'd have to check the laws of your state to see if your husband, even though separated, would still be liable for any support.