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taunua · Jun 3, 2012, 06:29 PM

I have a 13 &18 year old that lives with there dad and step-mom, not to my liking but I have no choice. We live 1 1/2 hours apart and the 18 year old I never get to see because they seem to plan things around my time. Our divorce papers state that I am responsible for 1/2 of his continuing education but I can't afford, without sell my house and/or going bankrupt. My question is sense he is 18 and a legal adult could I wave my rights on the 18 year old without waving them on the 13? And would that get me out of paying for not only the child support for the 18 year old but the continuing education?

ScottGem · Jun 3, 2012, 06:32 PM

First, you can't just waive your rights to any child. Second you can't waive your rights to get out of paying support. So you need a different plan.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 3, 2012, 06:52 PM

You needed to of course take your ex back to court if they were not allowing a visit, you had rights and choose not to enforce them. And I am sorry 1 1/2 hour, is nothing, that is driving from one side of Atlanta to the other on a good day, or many peoples daily commute. You could have been there for most important things of your children's life.

So sorry as a parent who dealt with kids with about a 20 hour drive away, I am not buyng this.

So are you seeing the 13 year old, or are things too busy there also ?

But you can not sign over your rights, and esp not to get out of paying support. You can try to go back to court, ( perhaps also to enforce visits with the 13 year old) but also to revisit what you can or can not pay. I will assume your earnings have changed and you are making less than when support was figured.

taunua · Jun 3, 2012, 07:29 PM

Originally Posted by taunua

I have a 13 &18 year old that lives with there dad and step-mom, not to my liking but I have no choice. We live 1 1/2 hours apart and the 18 year old I never get to see because they seem to plan things around my time. Our divorce papers state that I am responsible for 1/2 of his continueing education but I can't afford, without sell my house and/or going bankrupt. My question is sence he is 18 and a legal adult could I wave my rights on the 18 year old without waving them on the 13? and would that get me out of paying for not only the child support for the 18 year old but the continuing education?

I do make every and all attempt to visit my children but after making the drive multiply times and my oldest not there or busy. I love them and they know it but he is an adult with his busy life. I was told I couldn't force him to see me or have visits that he is 18 and he has that choice. So I thought court would be waste of time and money I don't have. If I thought I would have a chance I would be there.

ScottGem · Jun 4, 2012, 03:23 AM

Originally Posted by taunua

I was told I couldn't force him to see me or have visits that he is 18 and he has that choice.

That is correct. But I have to wonder whether you made these trips by appointment or not.

Did you take the time to drive over without knowing whether he would be available? Why don't you pick the phone and ask him for a specific time you can get together, Maybe coincide it with a visit with the 13 yr old. I grant you will probably not get frequent visits, but if you make time around his schedule you can have some time.

taunua · Jun 4, 2012, 04:14 AM

You are way to judgmental. You don't know the whole story. I do use the phone just last night I spoke with the 18 for nearly 2 hours. That is the only way these days I get anytime. I would just love to see. They know how much they are loved and that I would always be there for them. I just don't have the funds for college. An no I am not no dead beet parent. I work 2 jobs just to make ends meet and I don't live beon my means. I do what I can but situtions out of control I just can't do it. Waving was just a thought, last resort but it doesn't look like that would help. Just lost on what I could do.

taunua · Jun 4, 2012, 04:26 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

First, you can't just waive your rights to any child. Second you can't waive your rights to get out of paying support. So you need a different plan.

I want to THANK YOU on a big note for not being judgmental. You answered my question and I appreciate it greatly. I don't want to waive, it was just a question, last resort. Love my kids and would do anything for them. I just don't know how to get through college when I don't have the funds, no scholarships and with my ex's income no financial aid assistance. He may have the funds but I don't. Still owe my attoney and don't want to accure anymore debt with another, just for them to say sorry nothing we can do for you.
Anyway thank you again.

ScottGem · Jun 4, 2012, 05:01 AM

Sorry, but I was being just as judgmental as Chuck. You have to understand how we do things here. We have to make judgments in order to provide advice. This is because the askers generally don't give us the whole story (its hard to capsulize everything in a few paragraphs).

But both Chuck and I were trying to help you. We just have different styles and different perspectives on things.

Family Courts tend to be user friendly. So you can usually do most things on your own. You might try checking to see if there is a local law school that runs a law clinic. Many do to provide people with help doing paperwork and strategy planning.

JudyKayTee · Jun 4, 2012, 07:01 AM

You can't "waive your rights." You CAN go back to Court and try to get the support order changed. Prove what you've told us about your finances.

taunua · Jun 6, 2012, 03:41 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You can't "waive your rights." You CAN go back to Court and try to get the support order changed. Prove what you've told us about your finances.

Made an appointment for 10 am this morning.

ScottGem · Jun 6, 2012, 04:42 AM

Originally Posted by taunua

Made an appointment for 10 am this morning.

Good, Keep us posted.