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chinkbug · Oct 25, 2007, 10:39 PM

Ok so my husbands ex girlfriend from 9 years ago has not let my husband see his son since he was 2. We finally saw him, and she finally told him who his dad was, on Valentines Day this year. She still didn't want us seeing him and we haven't heard from her until yesterday. She waited until we had our first child together that just turned 7 months. She says in her email she has contacted the Texas State Attorney and wants child support. We told her we would give up rights since he was raised by another man and doesn't know my husband. We live in Ok. 6 hours away from him in Tx. She agrees to it but says she already filed papers and isn't stopping them until its "binding". I want to know what it is exactly and where exactly we get the papers? Do we need an attorney? What are the steps? How long does it take? So many questions just need some help!! :confused:

N0help4u · Oct 25, 2007, 10:47 PM

Try going to family court to get any papers you need for what you want to do. Even when you relinquish your rights you still have to pay child support; if that is your only reason for doing such a thing I wouldn't recommend doing it. If she isn't stopping child support papers until they are binding it sounds like she is saying she isn't going to give up the child support, but is trying to confuse or trick you into thinking that is what she means.

macksmom · Oct 26, 2007, 05:07 AM

You need to get in touch with an attorney... go for a free consultation so you can get all your questions answered.

But as N0help4u said, child support will not stop.

Child support will only stop if the mother has someone to adopt the child in your fiancés place... and the mother has to be willing to do so. Bottomline, if the mother doesn't want him to sign away his rights... he can't.

chinkbug · Oct 26, 2007, 07:35 AM

How when she never required him to pay child support in the first place? She isn't even legal guardian. They told her if my husband came and got him there would be nothing she could do. She doesn't want our money she wants us to disappear so she knows my husband can't come take the kid. We have never been served in court to pay child support

shygrneyzs · Oct 26, 2007, 07:40 AM

What do you she is not even the legal guardian? She is the birth mother and IS the legal guardian, as the child is a minor. When the child turns 18, then the child becomes an adult. If for some, there were some factors that made the child incapable of certain life decisions and care, then she would need to petition the courts for legal guardianship - before the child turns 18.

Who are the "they" who told him if he came to get the child, there was nothing the mother could do?

famlee · Oct 26, 2007, 11:03 AM

Originally Posted by shygrneyzs

What do you she is not even the legal guardian? She is the birth mother and IS the legal guardian, as the child is a minor. When the child turns 18, then the child becomes an adult. If for some, there were some factors that made the child incapable of certain life decisions and care, then she would need to petition the courts for legal guardianship - before the child turns 18.

Who are the "they" who told him if he came to get the child, there was nothing the mother could do?

In Missouri, if both parents are on the birth certificate and were never married, neither have custody if it hasn't went to court. The parent who has the child has "assumed custody" but not legal custody. The cops won't make one parent turn the child over to the other, but if the other parent comes and gets for visitation and doesn't return, they won't do anything either. For my husband to adopt my daughter who was 3, we had to go to court and have "legal custody" of her for 6 months before he could adopt, even though she had lived with me her whole life and my husband since she was 1. Her father was on the birth certificate, but we had never been to court to get set custody or visitation.

chinkbug · Oct 26, 2007, 11:17 AM

The cops. Just like if my husbands crazy mom went down there she could get rights to him cuase its Texas. Lindsey freaked once when my husband took the boy to get ice cream when he was two. She knew she couldn't do anything if he didn't come back

macksmom · Oct 26, 2007, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by chinkbug

How when she never required him to pay child support in the first place?? She isn't even legal gaurdian. They told her if my husband came and got him there would be nothing she could do. She doesn't want our money she wants us to disappear so she knows my husband can't come take the kid. We have never been served in court to pay child support

You said she already filed to paper work for child support... you say she doesn't want your money, but originally said in her email to him she said she wanted child support.

Bottomline, if she has filed the paperwork, and doesn't stop it... he WILL be responsible for child support, and he will be so until the child turns 18 or until some adopts the child in his place.

The only thing you could do at this point it try to agree to something mutual with the mother.

ScottGem · Oct 26, 2007, 11:47 AM

I'm real confused here. Your husband had a child with someone 9 years ago. And you husband has basically abandoned that child and you want to marry this guy? Or am I missing something?

Who IS legal guardian if the mother isn't? Who is on the birth certificate? Was paternity ever legally established?

I do not believe there is a statute of limitations on filing for child support. So if she wants to file that's up to her. But if she is not the legal guardian and custodial parent, then how can she file?

It is unlikely the courts will let your husband relinquish his rights unless the mother has someone waiting to adopt. Even if they do allow it it doesn't mean that relives him of the responsibility for child support.

I think we need some more details here, and/or you need an attorney to sort out this mess.