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    stephane_in_va's Avatar
    stephane_in_va Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Apr 10, 2006, 02:01 PM
    Me and my ex boyfriend (not married) have a three year old son and we went to court in June 2005 and he was granted every other weekend visitation.
    From July 2005 to September 2005 he did only 4 visitations out of 21 visitation if he would have continued intil April 2006 and I am taking him back to court next week because he has not continued his visitation and told me on September 1, 2005 that he was tired of paying child support and why won't my boyfriend pay it since he want to be so much of a father figure and that he want to give up his rights. Since then he has not attempt to come get our son so when we go back to court I'm going to ask the judge to cancel his visitation so he can't just decide on one of the weekends that he want to come get my son after a year or so. Im not going to keep letting him treat my son like he's an object he can pick him up when it's convient for him and put him back when he is finish not when it's convient for him and our son. Please give me your input and some advise to use for court??
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692

    Apr 10, 2006, 02:38 PM
    First he is suppose to pay, he is not paying for visitation rights, he is paying because he is the father and he owes the child support till the child is grown. If he does not wish to visit, that is his problem. Every other weekend is only his right, not a requirement, he does not have to ever come if he does not want to, you can't force him to visit and should care less if he doesn't. But he has to and should continue to pay.

    And he is merely childish, your boyfriend is not the father, that is why he does not pay the child support. You can get married, have more kids, get divorsed, remarry, and he still owes that child the support.

    Remember it is not YOUR money he is paying, it is the child's money. Not forcing him to pay is cheating your child out of a better opportunity and also allowing the father to excape his finicial requirements
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,928, Reputation: 674
    Ultra Member

    Apr 11, 2006, 08:42 AM
    As the answer before mine said, it is a lega responsibility for the child's father to pay child support. If he isn't, then I suggest you get a lawyer. He/she can help you with that, much more than you trying to do it by yourself in court.
    A lawyer can also suggest other things in your current situation. I do wish you the best, and good luck.
    tinangel's Avatar
    tinangel Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Apr 11, 2006, 06:13 PM
    From personal experience, you should also keep a notebook and log everything. Keep dates that visitations should've been & if he showed up or not, any phone calls he's made as well as his comments. My children's father did the very same thing and when I showed the judge the log book, she gave him supervised visits & my speculation was for visits to be at the police station. The girls haven't seen him since 1997 since that order took effect. Regardless of who you are with, HE is the child's father and its HIS responsibility to pay child support. Let him bury himself by arguing his points with the judge. Don't get upset over it, just remain one step ahead of him at all times. If you do have a court order for child support, contact the support collection agency if he stops paying. A lot of states issue bench warrants for their arrest if they do not pay. Good Luck
    pwillett06's Avatar
    pwillett06 Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Apr 11, 2006, 07:11 PM
    If he wants to give up his rights to your son... let him. It sounds to me like that would be in the child's best interest from what you have said. If you are in a sound relationship that will eventually lead to marriage and the man in your life wants to take responsibility for your son and already has, then let the biological father severe his rights. This is about being responsible to the child, but it is also about what is in the best interest of the child. If the father has expressed that he wants to rid himself of the responsibility, that would be a red flag for me or any mother. Who wants a father for a child who doesn't want to be a father? I would rather have a man who is willing to take the responsibility on than one who is not interested at all. You could go through years of this up and down visitation, child support issue. There would be less stress, pain, and hurt feelings, not to mention the cost through the years with lawyers and such. If you can get the father to sign the papers, I say go for it. If you really feel it is in the best interest of your child to severe the fathers rights according to the fathers statements and actions, then do what is best for the child. Suggest to the father that all he needs to do is go to a lawyer or tell the judge when you go to court. Get him to say these things in front of the judge. If you don't want him to because you can't afford to raise the child, then keep things the way they are and get your local child support office involved. If his main concern is helping with the child by having to paying child support, let child support go after him. They will do it for free.

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