My son is in iraq. He has a 1 year old daughter who lives with her mother. The mother has been diagnosed bi-polar but does not seek treatment. A lot of the time she is very unstable I am very concerned for the safety of my grand-daughter. I know it is not easy to obtain custody but at the same time I feel she is not in a safe place. What is the deffinition of unfit parent

Hello deb:

Unfit means she abuses your granddaughter or neglects her.

However, it's going to take a court to decide, and that's going to take a lawyer, and that's going to take a lot of money and time, and that's going to ruin your relationship with your daughter-in-law FOREVER, and may ruin your relationship with your son FOREVER, thereby causing you to lose your relationship with granddaughter FOREVER.

A better plan would be to offer your services and money to help her get her act together.

excon

You're going to have trouble getting any type of custody.grandparents have no parental rights at all.Your best bet is to destroy her credibilityas a parent.It can be done,but its going to be hard,unless she gets arrested a lot.

What excon says is right. Sometimes what is needed is a helping hand, not a hand to take away. In order to prove someone unfit is not as easy as it sounds.

See the following thread on proving an unfit parent.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ent-46931.html

As for Grandparent rights - see the following:
Grandparents & Relatives Raising Children - Support Groups
DivorceNet - Grandparents Still Have Rights In New York State

Yes you did not mention if your son and his child's mother are married, or do they live together, or are they separated or divorced.

If they are together, but he is merely off in war, then as noted to do anything officially, you are going to have to hire a attorney and prove how bad she is in court, prove the child is in danger, prove the child is not properly feed, or prove the child is abused.
** and even then they may not take the child away but merely force her to get medical attention or to take parenting classes.

So as noted, if you have a good relationship with them, helping may be easier.

OK I am in the grandaughters spot so I can tell you grandparents get the right when it is unsafe and no other choice or the child can say where they want to be, my granmother got me cause my dad was in jail and mother went to jail with him... ever since I've been here until I moved out to my moms and got abused there then had to come back... so sad to say but unless you have proof of neglection or abuse you have nothing... its hard but the truth

This post is over a year and a half old.

I am reading all of this and would like to say I am a fit mother, I was however in a very abusive relationship with my sons father... I gave my parents cusody because it was in the best interest for my children... I have 3... my x is now in prison serving 25 years for what he did to me and I got custody of my children back, although now because it has been so hard jon me and my children, the slightest thing and my mother ( the children's grandmother) just swoops right in """Grandma to the rescue""" please I am in the military been deployed and yes I am the mother... single mother... I am very proud of what I do and very proud of my children for being strong with everything, there are problems believe me but I am not unfit by no means... I just lost custody recently and am fighting to get it back! Parents beware! It is all to easy for grandparents to take your children from you!! My parents have and it was all lies and the judge would not even look at any proof that I have so I am still fighting this time for my kids, I was offended more than anything in court, it was insinuated that I have been in nothing but trouble since joining the military... I very politily told the judge I have a very clean military record and told him to look all he wanted... im just saying if you want to keep your kids then keep them away from the grandparents especially if the grandparent may have issues!! No one has even thought to look into there past just assumes OH they are so sweet look they want to help there granchildren and there not only causing more problems!!

I am a grandparent and was able to see my granddaughter when ever I wanted, but my daughters boyfriend is controlling and decided that I could not see her anymore because of rumors from over 12 years ago about my husband cheating on me. My daughter was in college and now has to quit because he will not let her take the baby to anyone. He is always accusing her of cheating on him. His mother lives with them and she has been locked up on the mental ward at least 3 times. His mom and him smoke pot in the house and he drinks. I have had to buy diaper, formula and food for them because he would rather spend his money on cigarettes, pot and booze. I have contacted a lawyer because I gave my daughter him or her family and she chose him. I am going for full custody

I am so sorry to hear about your circumstances. My condolences are given. I think of women who prefer to uphold their men over their children is an self centered *** loving individual! You can also argue in court that the endangerment of the child does not only proceed with the nature of the grandmother being put in the mental ward 3 times, but as well acknowledge that the mother of the children is refusing proper care of her children by bad influence which all leads to - neglect, and endangering the welfare of the child. It is not hard in this case to prove endangerment. A. Endangerment = drugs, Alcohol abuse B. Neglect = refusal to support the child and to keep it living in an safe environment.

This thread is THREE AND A HALF YEARS OLD!!


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