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    kbdestiny1's Avatar
    kbdestiny1 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 3, 2006, 01:28 PM
    Unfit father
    My baby is almost 4 and has only seen her father once. And he hasn't paid anything for her. He now wants to take me to court for visittaion. He has an extensive criminal history of drugs, and assault. He is a really bad person that has threatened to kill me, and kick my , and steal my child, and to do anything to possibley hurt me. Is there anyway I can get a court NOT to grant him visitation?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Dec 3, 2006, 01:42 PM
    Let him waste his money. He really has no leg to stand on and he may get limited supervised visits, but if he can't make child support, a suspended licence and jail for contempt. I think he said it as a threat. If he is unfit as you say and making threats for your safety, I wouldn't worry. You already have custody so let him see a judge. See a lawyer to make sure and I think a consultation is free.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #3

    Dec 3, 2006, 03:25 PM
    I agree with Tal, unless the father has really changed his act and can prove it, he's unlikely to get any visitation. Just tell the court what you have told us, though you will need to provide proof.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #4

    Dec 3, 2006, 03:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by kbdestiny1
    He is really a bad person. He has an extensive criminal history of drugs, and assualt.
    Hello kb:

    So, you found out about his criminal record, only AFTER you slept with him. Right... And, you never did drugs with him. Right... He's a bad person, and you're just great. Right...

    Nope, you're not going to stop him from seeing his child, and rightly so.

    excon
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #5

    Dec 3, 2006, 03:55 PM
    Present the court with all evidence you have. Any witnesses that can testify to his threats and whatnot would be great. It'd be bet to put your concerns in writing prior to your court hearing. Make several copies, including one for the judge. You also might want to retain an attorney if you can afford it.
    KISSROMEO2's Avatar
    KISSROMEO2 Posts: 33, Reputation: 0
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    #6

    Dec 4, 2006, 06:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by excon
    Hello kb:

    So, you found out about his criminal record, only AFTER you slept with him. Right..... And, you never did drugs with him. Right.... He's a bad person, and you're just great. Right....

    Nope, you're not gonna stop him from seeing his child, and rightly so.

    excon
    I'm confused.. how did you know all that? Or are you just assuming?:confused:
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #7

    Dec 4, 2006, 06:45 AM
    excon's cynicism is showing ;) He does have a valid point about why you slept with him in the first place. I would assume, as excon does, that you knew something about his history when you took up with him. This leads to the supposition that you may also have a drug problem along with other issues.

    However, I choose to believe that having the child was a wake up call. That, in the ensuing 4 years, you have cleaned up your act to a large extent. So I disagree with Chuck and excon. If the facts are as you stated and you can prove them, the court is unlikley to award him visitation.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #8

    Dec 4, 2006, 06:52 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by KISSROMEO2
    I'm confused.. how did you know all that? Or are you just assuming?:confused:
    Hello again, KISS:

    Well, I'm assuming... But, I'm right.

    Nobody changes from non-violent law abiding person, into a drug using, felon, wife beater. They just don't!

    She is only saying that about HIM now, because she wants something.

    excon
    KISSROMEO2's Avatar
    KISSROMEO2 Posts: 33, Reputation: 0
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    #9

    Dec 4, 2006, 06:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by excon
    Hello again, KISS:

    Well, I'm assuming....... But, I'm right.

    Nobody changes from non-violent law abiding person, into a drug using, felon, wife beater. They just don't!

    She is only saying that about HIM now, because she wants something.

    excon
    Hey Ex...
    Hmmm... never thought about it that way... I had a wifebeating husband who never laid a hand on me before or any other girl... was violent with his mouth but otherwise never touched me until one night and then it never ended. Flipside, I don't know about the drug aspect because me, myself, and I have never stepped foot in that hemisphere. And from the felon comment - I agree. My husband had felonies before me and continued to get them after we split up. That doesn't change unless some possible jailtime can get his head on straight.
    ~K
    kbdestiny1's Avatar
    kbdestiny1 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Dec 11, 2006, 08:52 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by excon
    Hello kb:

    So, you found out about his criminal record, only AFTER you slept with him. Right..... And, you never did drugs with him. Right.... He's a bad person, and you're just great. Right....

    Nope, you're not gonna stop him from seeing his child, and rightly so.

    excon

    Actually yes I found out about his charges and jailtime and temper after we got together. No I never did drugs with him. Im not saying Im great. But he did used to beat me and when I was a month pregnant he pushed me down a steep ditch on the side of the road. HE told anyone that called my phone whether it be a GIRL or a guy that he'd kill them and to never call my phone again. He erased every number out opf my cell phone including all the hospitals my mom worked at. When I was pregnant and he went back to jail I was scared of what hed do to me when he got out. So I accepted his phone calls and visited him. Until I just couldn't be threatened anymore and stopped. I believe people that truly can change should have things to do with their kids. But in the almost years she's been alive he's been in and out of jail and continually threatening me.
    kbdestiny1's Avatar
    kbdestiny1 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Dec 11, 2006, 08:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    Let him waste his money. He really has no leg to stand on and he may get limited supervised visits, but if he can't make child support, a suspended licence and jail for contempt. I think he said it as a threat. If he is unfit as you say and making threats for your safety, I wouldn't worry. You already have custody so let him see a judge. See a lawyer to make sure and I think a consultation is free.

    What if I don't even want his money for child support. It would be 65.00 because that's the minium here and he has no skills in a real profession. He always works under the table.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #12

    Dec 11, 2006, 08:59 AM
    You can waive child support, but that doesn't remove his right to visitation.
    DevotedMommy's Avatar
    DevotedMommy Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Sep 18, 2007, 12:25 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by excon
    Hello kb:

    So, you found out about his criminal record, only AFTER you slept with him. Right..... And, you never did drugs with him. Right.... He's a bad person, and you're just great. Right....

    Nope, you're not gonna stop him from seeing his child, and rightly so.

    excon
    I think this is an unfair statement. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes. HOWEVER... the real thing in making you a "fit parent" is being able to learn from them. If having a child doesn't change someone.. frankly, nothing will. I'm in a similar predicament and have given everythign and done everything for my child to ensure her a wonderful and happy life while the "father" doesn't othing but party, threat, and do stupid things to get himself in trouble with the courts.. HENCE why he now has a warrant. Everyone can change... but no one can change if they THEMSELVES don't want to. Children open the eyes to many people... you couldn't possibly understand unless you were in this positin yourself.

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