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    CAWAVE2006's Avatar
    CAWAVE2006 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Oct 13, 2006, 08:25 AM
    Terminate Father Rights In Ca.
    HI, I want to know what are the steps to sign my child over to her mom. My daughter is going to turn 7 years-old in January, her mom has called cps 100 times, all allegation were unfound it, they said my new wife was slapping my kid, they say that my step son was touching her in the privates parts, cps unfound everything.

    She even put my kid through a ripe kit test, and it was normal. Whe we got divorced he applied for child support, but she lie in my income, and I didn't know, a latter was sent to me, and since she still have the house keys she went and took the letter out, so I miss the court date when child support was ruled, and since I was in and out of the Army I didn't know I could change the orders.

    I went back to court to and it finally got reduce 75 or more down, she I think she got real mad:mad: and stated to make false allegations agaist me and my family. I am still a bit unstable job wise, I pay whatever I can, but usually make the full payment, but I still have like $8000, behind, last time I went to court, they say that I haven't ay child support, and something about comtemp to pay child support, meanning I can go to jail, because I failed in the past to pay child support.

    In the other hand I don't even know if the child its mine or not since she was cheating on me when she got pregnant.

    I am tired of her draging me to court every time she wants to, and sending cps over my home, the falce allegations, every single time my kid comes over my x says something to the minor counsul and to her lawyer, I think its very sick.

    My job had complein about have to go to court all the time.

    I really don't even want my kid to come over anymore, because it only gets worse.
    The WB's Avatar
    The WB Posts: 78, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member

    Oct 13, 2006, 11:36 AM
    This is one of the major problems with the system. It allows petty people to manipulate and torture the non-custodial parent. The first mistake you made is not having a paternity test done if you knew she was cheating while you were married. I you have a video camera, get the child on film stating that the new wife has not touched her ever. Don't tell her what to say. Question her about the things her mother said (in a loving way not the 5th degree. The fact that she still lets her come over says a lot.
    It doesn't sound like you have enough money to get a lawyer. If you do, get one. You have to receive a summons to be dragged to court. If you can prove that you didn't receive the first summons, it might help. It sounds like it's too late though. Get a paternity test before you have to go back to court. If the child is not yours, you may have some options. If the child is yours, you can't give up the rights unless the mother allows it. Even if she does, you still may be responsible for child support. Try to get a copy of the CPS records involving you and tell the judge about the harassment and false allegations and show him the video maybe. If your new wife can, I would suggest that she help make some payments for you or lose you to jail for ninety days every time you fail to pay. If they take your taxes for back child support, they will take hers also, if you file jointly. Whatever you do, move quick. Time is limited.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man

    Oct 13, 2006, 11:48 AM
    First, I have to disagree with the video tape idea. It will not be admissible in court. The only way for it to be admissible is if it was done as part of a deposition where the mom's attorneys were present. So they would have to agree with it.

    Second, I suspect the mom is letting the daughter visit because of court ordered visitation not because she thinks its OK.

    Third, Get a paternity test right away. Next time you have your daughter, take her for the test, but don't explain why unless you have to.

    Fourth, document everything. Get copies of the police reports and the investigations with the results.

    Now, once you have the paternity test results, you then need to proceed. And you WILL need a lawyer. If the paternity test is negative, then you will petition the court to sever your relation to the child and sue the mom for the child support already paid.

    If you are the father, then you can petition for a change in support payments, change in custody and a restraining order against further harassment and false accusations.
    LUNAGODDESS's Avatar
    LUNAGODDESS Posts: 467, Reputation: 40
    Full Member

    Oct 13, 2006, 11:54 AM
    "...I really don't even want my kid to come over anymore..."
    It is sad that your child will miss out on the experiences of having a biological dad that will go through high water to keep in touch with her... to make the statement that you do not want your child to visit is so so so sad... maybe this action is the best for the child... but remember this... if,. she remembers what has happened to her and finds you... you must be prepared to handle what ever drama will come out of your decision.

    Terminate Father Rights In Ca.If the biological-father will not give his written consent to the adoption (or if he does not give up the child for adoption), the adoption cannot move forward unless the Court ends his parental rights.

    You must file a Petition to Terminate Parental Rights. The most common reason for a judge to end the bio-logical parental rights is... abandonment of the child or children.

    Abandonment is when a bio-logical mother and or biological father leaves the child with anyone... who is not the mother/father for 6 months or more, or when he or she or both leaves the child with... whom ever... for 1 year or more, with little or no communication with the child.

    A judge may also consider failure to pay child support as intent to abandon a child.

    There are other reasons that a judge will end parental rights, including habitual drug use or a felony conviction.

    The Court will not end parental rights unless it finds clear and convincing evidence. (This is the highest possible proof in a civil case.)
    An alleged parent must be served with a Notice of Alleged Paternity. The father has 30 days after getting the Notice, or after the child is born, whichever is later to file court papers. If the parent (either) does not do this, after being properly served, the Court can end parental rights of either parent or both.

    Even if the alleged mother /father files court papers, the Court can still end either parents' rights and allow the adoption to proceed if the judge finds the adoption is in the child's best interest.

    2004 Superior Court of California County of Alameda

    The Department of Social Services will contact you to schedule a home visit...
    Social Services Agency
    401 Broadway
    Oakland, CA 94607

    The father in your case must give consent to the biological mother or guardian that you are giving up custody of the child. You can get the consent forms from the Stepparent Adoption Investigator at Social Services: 510-268-2422.If the other parent doesn't want to sign a consent form, file a Petition to end their parental rights.

    If that parent is the mother or a presumed Father, file an Abandonment Petition Freeing the Child from Parental Custody and Control. If the other parent is an Alleged Father, file a Termination Petition Terminating the Parental Rights of Alleged Father.[/I][/I]

    I do hope you rethink this action... seriously...
    CAWAVE2006's Avatar
    CAWAVE2006 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Oct 13, 2006, 01:23 PM
    Yes, the info is helping. Thanks. I do have a lawyer, but the money its running out from 4000 the last time I checked was 1500, and he gets 200 per hour. His paralegal has reming me several times that we need to put some money in, its very stressing when you don't have it. With the 4000 they have done nothing. My step son its out of the house every time my daughter has to visitation, usually I go take her some where also during midweek visitation, so my step son can stay at his house. 2 weekends a months she comes over, and he has to go, my in laws is where he stays, they love, but he is alreay asking why he have to come and stay every other weekend, my inlaws some time have things to do, so they told us well we agree until this last court date (Oct 11) BUT now they remaind the same, so we don't have very many relatives in town so, he sometimes willl have no place to stay, so that's an ussue, plus my daughter has mention plenty of time that she miss my son, and why he is not here.

    My daughter gets couch before talking to minor consul by her mother, so we are messed up on that part, last one allegation was that my daughter did like my wife at ALL my wife got so mad, she called minos consul, and minor consul sugested to come over during visitation, to see how my wife was with my kid, so we came home the consul was already there my child acted so surprice when she so her consul, almost scared, but she was smilling, but the my kid sat with my wife and kind of lye on her sholuder plus other events.

    Consul says that she was happy with results, and that she doesn't see ant ussues with my wife and my kid.

    I have been going to court a lot over this 6 1/2 years, and now thet want to get my new wife and little step son in trouble, of cuase the goal of my ex is for my wife to say OK I want to get a divorce. My wife and I have a 18 months old baby girl, and even the baby its getting sick over these, so its my wife she had had to panic atacks in the last month, my mom its ill and she is only getting worse, because of this, Iam 28 years old 7 years of pure missery, I do love my daughter, but this is too much.

    Another this is that my ex wife its full Mexican5'0(Olive skin, black hair, brown eyes), I am caucasian(Blond/blue eyes) my daughter with this woman looks just Mexican.
    Now my daughter with my wife has curly platium hair, blue, green, hazel eyes, fair-medium complexion, my current wife its from Venezuela(South America) Brown eyes, brown hair 5'7

    And I made lond time ago a pic of me when I was 2 years old with a boat my father builded, and took a pic of my oldest daughter at age 2 with a current boat that my father had made, and the minor consul said wo how cute who is this and we explain that that was me and the m daughter that the same age, minos consul says wow! I thought you were your youngest daughter.

    And yes her mother is a cheater, she did with me several times, and we recently found out that she is cheating on her current husband or boyfriend that live with her.

    So yes, I want to get a paternity test done, but 1st I going to do one at home. Thanks for reading this.
    LUNAGODDESS's Avatar
    LUNAGODDESS Posts: 467, Reputation: 40
    Full Member

    Oct 13, 2006, 02:26 PM
    Get over the drama... it has been 7 years.. if you do not care for this woman... than why bring up the past... "...And yes your child's mother is a cheater..."according to you... "... if she is a cheater... the fact the she is cheater does not mean she is a bad mother... otherwise,. unless she is neglecting her child your daughter... then as her father you should look after her... do you not think so... all that money you are spending for a lawyer should be spent on your daughter... place the money in a trust fund if you do not trust the mother... but what ever you do not give up on this child...
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,300, Reputation: 7691

    Oct 13, 2006, 02:47 PM
    Ok, unless the child's mother will allow you to terminate your rights as a father, you can't, IF you could there would be a line out the door at the court house of people not wanting to pay child support.

    If you don't want to be part of the chids life , then don't have the child over for any visits, you terminate any visits, and just pay your child support and you will never have to see or hear from your ex again.

    But this is what a women does to hurt you, she used the child to attack you, not for the good of the child since this type of fighting will only harm the mental status of the child.

    And who cares if she is cheating or was cheating,

    And of course you seem to be trying to make extra work, you are going to do a home DNA test?? Why, it would not hold up in court, get a real test done or don't fool with it at all.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,184, Reputation: 10852

    Oct 13, 2006, 04:19 PM
    After a DNA test, Take a deep breathe and make up your mind to fight for your daughter. I know it can't be easy and its expensive and stressful, so what?? That's what fathers do. Do you think females are the only ones to fight for their children? Hell no. There is no other thing in your life more important and just because your ex has the upper hand now doesn't mean you stick your tail between your legs and say yes dear!! Not to be harsh but if this IS your child get another lawyer for one and dig in. One father to another. In ten years (they go by fast) you'll find a young adult who will remember everything and either be grateful for your efforts or hate your guts. If there is a GOD she will even be a little resentful of the person who put her Daddy through a bunch of crap. Fight now or regret later. Just my 2 cents.
    CAWAVE2006's Avatar
    CAWAVE2006 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Oct 14, 2006, 10:40 AM
    LUNAGODDESS: There is not drama!! But when someone is trying to say that you are the bad example for your kid, you can see all their downfalls too, and no I don't care about this woman, my wife is beautiful inside and out.

    It doesn't make her a bad mother when she is cheating, well sorry to disagree, but when my kid see that her mother is kissing another guy when she has another one home, my daughter is already saying that she has 7 boyfriends at school, and last year in kindergarten she was on top of this little boy kissing him.

    And yes a parent is a bad parent when you are star naked in there living room having personal relations with explict toys and kid kid is watching. Her mom is demanding child support, but she get a check no matter what, she demands child support, but she spends money in a lawyer?

    And yes I need a lawyer the allegations where very seroius this time. And the money for the lawyer didn't come from me, I don't even have the money to place in a trust fund for my children that live with me, cause job situation the pay its low at the moment.

    Fr_Chuck: Hello! Well this is what happened my ex when we had arguments she told me several times that my kid was not mine, but that I was a sucker for taking the child as mine, then when this were quite she said that she was sorry for saying that.

    Then again : That child its not your SUCKER, but ever if she is not you have to play child support hahahhaha.

    So I am very confused I really don't want to look like a fool asking the court for a DNA test is she is mine, I want to make sure for my own satisfaction since her mom told me several times that she was not mine.

    talaniman: Its true its been 6 1/2 year in court, I am trying, but I am not going to have a misserable life, and my my kids and wife, even other family members this way any more we are really tired of it.

    When nothing its going on we are like what can she be planning now. So I don't want to be part of the show anymore.
    NEEDINFO's Avatar
    NEEDINFO Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Oct 14, 2006, 11:02 AM
    Hello CAWAVE2006, something like this happened to my brother, got married had a child, got a divorced, because the woman was a cheater, and didn't take care of the house or the baby, and my brother. He got married with a nice woman, that had a little boy, so the kids were happy had somebody to play. The other woman was a freak started making false allegations against the new wife, the step son.

    My brother fought, like a soldier, but as the little girl grew, the allegations only got bigger, against the boy(sexual stuff), my wife, and finally about my brother touching his own daughter sexually, big problems came for my brother.

    He always suspect that the child was not his, so he did a paternity test, it came back negative, so he sued the mother for back child support, defamation, pain and agony, and medical expenses. He terminated his parental rights also. Its very sad, but you have to love yourself before you love anyone also.

    Good luck with this case.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,184, Reputation: 10852

    Oct 14, 2006, 11:04 AM
    The raw emotion and frustration shows in your post. I can imagine the hell your going through, you are not alone. Many men have gone through the vindictive evil ex. From what you've written I fail to see how a lawyer can give you no relief. I suspect owing him money has a great deal to do with it. If you can do a little work on your own and Google-Fathers Rights Organizations- and see if there is a better way of going about your problem. Let me tell you as frustrating as it is now it will be worse if your ex is allowed free reign to terrorize your family. I guarantee she will not stop with you not seeing your daughter and will use it against you in court. It may not be easy now but you'll be glad you fought. So will your daughter and no matter what hell YOUR going through ,think of what SHE is going through. Check out the websites and let me know if it helps.
    NEEDINFO's Avatar
    NEEDINFO Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Oct 14, 2006, 12:10 PM
    HI CAWAVE 2006, u know even if she was your child, I would terminate my rights as a parent, just because of the fact the she will make you life shorter, ruin you current family, and its very clear that her wants you to be destroy soon as possible, and in the future she will tell her own child to make more false allegations about you, and they may be as bad as sexual, and if they find you guilty, get ready to be resgiterd as a sexual offender.

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