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    summerblues02's Avatar
    summerblues02 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    May 16, 2012, 11:21 AM
    Ten year Sole Custody being challenged by a hateful father
    I have a 13 year old daughter. Ten years ago I was granted sole custody in another state (that is a story in itself) but ended up moving to my home state, which is where her father lives also. I did this for her to be closer to family and him. I have never asked for an increase on child support and now he wants to claim her on his taxes (since he worked for cash one year) so he wants joint custody. He tells her its not fair for me to get that money and not him. Always puts guilt trips on her saying things like, "I can take you away from your mom because I make more money and can provide better for you". He has never wanted her to stay the summers with him before but last year guilted her into 5 straight weeks, she has never been away from home more than 1 week before and she hated it. And now this summer he told her she was coming for the whole summer. She did tell him she doesn't want to but he got really mad at her. Now she is scared he is going to be mean on her weekend visitation. My question is can he be doing all this or get away with any of it.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692

    May 16, 2012, 12:02 PM
    He gets her for visit only when the court order for visits. He can not "get" her for the entire summer unless that is what the court order says.

    He can ask for joint custody, but he will need to live close enough to allow her to stay in the same school. He may get more or better visitation ( just depends on what he has now)

    If he files, you counter file for a review of child support.
    summerblues02's Avatar
    summerblues02 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    May 17, 2012, 07:01 AM
    Thanks for responding. I was very nervous in doing so, and get sick at my stomach thinking about when he finds out. But I did file for change in child support. He pays about 1/2 what the state would require.

    We do live in the same area now for about 10 years. I left a really good paying job in order for her to be closer to family and her dad. When her dad told her his plans for the summer she called her grandma (his mom) to talk to her about what her dad was saying. The grandma agreed that if she did not want to go she did not have to. She explained to her grandma she felt like she was in prison there. Only could watch what he wanted to watch, listen to the music he wanted to and do only what he wanted. She was not allowed to contact me or her friends during the time. When I would call he would tell me this was his time and I could talk to her when she came home. He never calls her when she is with me except to scream at her for something, never just to see how she is doing. And when he finds out something later he gets mad but she has gotten to where she thinks he should call and check on her not always her having to call and say well this is going on and he responds OK.

    He has a record of domestic violence on file from a previous marriage and step-kids. One of them had to go through extensive counseling because of the way he treated him. And in my opinion he is a bully and lives a miserable life so he wants to make our miserable too.

    I don't make a lot of money and we do just "get by" but my daughter does not do without. I try to make sure she is able to participate in just about anything she wants (within reason). I want her childhood to have memories of happiness. She is a Banner Roll (all A's) child and is excelling in sports too, along with numerous other school clubs.

    Again, thank you for your reply.

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