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mwhasch · Oct 23, 2008, 11:45 AM

I am in the military and gone a lot. I recently found out that I have a 4 year old daughter in Indiana. Upon taking a paternity test it was mandated by that courts that I pay 400.00 a month and medical for my daughter. After talking to the mother she stated to me that this she didn't want my money or anything, and now wants me to sign away my rights. She told me that she is getting married and her soon to be husband wants to adopt her. She said that she would cancel the support and everything if I would sign away and go on with our lives. We agreed that would be best.

After speaking with her the other day she told me that she talked to a lawyer and he told that I have to take her to court because I had no rights. Once I took her to court to get rights then I could sign away my rights and get all the support stopped. I so confused on this matter and seeking help. I live in Virginia and this issue in Indiana.

stinawords · Oct 23, 2008, 12:11 PM

If you were ordered by the court to pay support then you have to have some sort of rights. But I would advise you to get a lawyer in Indiana so that he/she can do most of the work for you. Until she is married for a year the adoption won't be possible anyway and until then you have to pay the ordered support. If you want visitation you will have to go to court for that but I think some of the confusion is due to the "telephone game" of he said she said. You don't have to go to court for anything unless you want visitation. After she is married she can hire an attorney (hopefully a good one that won't tell her for you to take her to court) because that isn't true. But like I said until she has been married for that year period I would just pay the support and wait for her next move.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 23, 2008, 12:14 PM

Once you were proved the father by DNA you received rights, the trouble is there is no court order to demand those rights, So you can file for visits or for partial custody.

Right now you can not just sign over your rights and not pay.
Even if you sign over right now, you would still have to pay.

What has to happen, she has to get married, be married for about one year, then she can get an attorney and file for an addoption.

Please understand the military is vey very seroius about you being current on child support, so I would suggest you consult an attorney if you don't plan on paying right now,