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Hush84 · Jun 7, 2012, 04:19 AM

Well here it is I'm in PA but I was married and gave birth in puerto rico.the father honestly never wanted to be a dad he is not mean just doesn't want too be one.I left because of it he pays support when he wants and calls a well .when my son was 1 my met a great man who my son knows as dad he is also aware of his biological father but still leaches on to who he knows to be dad.I'm processing the divorce.but my boyfriend got now 10yrs and stepfather to my son wants to legally adopt my son now my ex honestly said what ever is easier for us he agrees with the adoption since I have full custody my boyfriend feels left out of legal rights like school, medical... ect of things he can't do even though he does every thing a father does for his son school , medical etc.. Put a wall with umm your not father sorry but how can we do this when we are not married?

ScottGem · Jun 7, 2012, 04:51 AM

You are fortunate. PA law does not require that the adopting couple be married. Pittsburgh Adoption Lawyers | Allegheny County Adoption Attorneys | PA Stepparent Adoptions Law Firm

So find yourself a Family law attorney to prepare the paperwork and go ahead with it. Since the bio father is agreeable, this should be simple.

But make sure you do it through an attorney since you seem to not care that much about legalities (see: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...nd-627545.html).

smoothy · Jun 7, 2012, 04:54 AM

Originally Posted by Hush84

Well here it is I'm in PA but I was married and gave birth in puerto rico.the father honestly never wanted to be a dad he is not mean just doesn't want too be one.i left because of it he pays support when he wants and calls a well .when my son was 1 my met a great man who my son knows as dad he is also aware of his biological father but still leaches on to who he knows to be dad.I'm processing the divorce.but my bf got now 10yrs and stepfather to my son wants to legally adopt my son now my ex honestly said what ever is easier for us he agrees with the adoption since I have full custody my bf feels left out of legal rights like school, medical...ect of things he can't do even though he does every thing a father does for his son school , medical ect.. Put a wall with umm your not father sorry but how can we do this when we are not married ??

He's the biological father... he will retain parental rights until there has been a legal adoption by someone else ( you will need the birth fathers permission since he's still alive and you know where he is. Scott beat me to the answer so I won't repeat anything he already stated.

Hush84 · Jun 7, 2012, 05:43 AM

Best news Ever and yes the bio father actually has no problems at all with it he actually agrees with it .I don't hate him neither does my son he is still a friend of the family and is updated of his son when ever he wants .But he said it since the day I found out I was pregnant (I Don't WANT TO BE A FATHER I Won't TRY AND PUT YOU AND THE BABY THREW SOMETHING I WILL FAIL) and I respected that and moved on . And I will not cry a river or bash him since we were in collage and I was so drunk the night it happened soooo I kept the baby and took full respounsibility my boyfriend says 10yrs I would like to go to school and say I am the father the same with appointments etc... Thank you both for that advice every one says I have to be married in order him to adopt my son but I felt there had to be a loop hole some where since every party in question is in agreement.I would have to start a search for lawyers in colombia county I hear the judge here is brutal so I hope so get a visious one that know the BAR like a bible

ScottGem · Jun 7, 2012, 06:03 AM

Originally Posted by Hush84

every one says i have to be married in order him to adopt my son but i felt there had to be a loop hole

In most areas, they do require married partners for a step-parent adoption. But this appears to be changing, especially with same sex relationships becoming more prevalent. So it appears PA is progressive in this area.

There is no "loop hole" however. If you lived in a state where the marriage requirement existed, then it would be a no go. Your mention of loop hole is in keeping with your cavalier attitude towards legalities.

Hush84 · Jun 7, 2012, 06:17 AM

I was reading the website given earlier And it looks very favorable for my familys situation .Its seems to me that at least a child can not be made a Bastard due to parenting preference .But that is no where near my case and my boyfriend and I have lived in the same residence for years and have no crimes so I am hoping that a good lawyer could convince a judge that it would beneficial for my Boyrfriend to just legally do what he has done for ten years now. Im not putting your words in stone but I was at least directed correctly I sent a email request to have a appointment for a case evaluation.some I was reluctant to do before since even for legal advice there is a fee at least now I look forward to paying it when before I didn't even want to try .

ScottGem · Jun 7, 2012, 06:32 AM

Originally Posted by Hush84

i am hoping that a good lawyer could convince a judge that it would beneficial for my Boyrfriend to just legally do what he has done for ten years now.

You don't seem to want to understand this. The law is the law. While judges often have leeway in interpreting the law, they can't go against it, even if they feel it's the right thing to do. If PA law said that a step parent or partner adoption requires the adopting parent to be married to the natural parent before an adoption could be granted, then the judge could not grant it no matter how long you have been together, the agreement of all parties, etc.

Fortunately for you, however, PA does not have that requirement. So I don't see any reason, this shouldn't be a simple matter of preparing the paperwork properly and having a judge sign off.