[mrsjnguyen]

So, I'm in sort of a sticky situation.. more like frustrating. I have a 2-year-old daughter who hasn't seen her biological father in probably 5 months. We went to court last year in June because he wasn't paying Child Support.. but HE ASKED THE COURT FOR VISITATION RIGHTS. First of all, I have no idea why he asked for them, because he didn't even call to see her right after we saw each other in court. It probably took him a couple months.. and he only visited her about 2-3 times. And we haven't heard from him since October-November last year. I tried his cell number and it has been cut-off. He stopped paying Child Support for a while, but I called the place that was dealing with it and they sent a Wage Garnishment and gave them a bit more information.. the main thing I'm trying to get is, he asked for visitation rights and he's not visiting, and I had to get the agency to send a wage garnishment.. what do I do now since he's not even visiting? Is that called Child Abandonment, or abuse of visitation rights? Can I get those taken away from him by going to court because he's being neglective? I have written down every time he called, visited, and paid Child Support and plan on getting Records of when he last called and texted. What should I do?

[JudyKayTee]

Without knowing the Country or State this is at best a guess.

You cannot force a person to visit. Not visiting is NOT neglect.

Support and visitation are two very different issues - one does not hinge on the other.

Abuse of visitation rights does NOT include NOT visiting.

Again - you cannot force a person to be an attentive parent. The best you can do is rise above it. A lot of women don't want the father in the child's life. You are the exception who does want him to be involved. The best you can do is hope he one day realizes he has responsibilities and honors them.

This may be a good thing - if he doesn't care why would you want to force him to visit with the child?

[ScottGem]

I suspect he asked for visitation in the hope you would drop the support request. But you can't force him to exercise his rights and its not abandonment.

I also doubt of you can have the rights taken away, since a court will say, if he' not using them why bother?

I understand you may not want him just showing up all of a sudden. And if he does you can ask for supervised visits at that point.

[Fr_Chuck]

It is called "not visiting" nothing more. It is not illegal and he does not have to visit.

If he does not visit for some time, ( year) you may go back to court and ask for visits to be modified to give him less. ** if you want to

But that is about all you can do.

Again paying child support and visits are two separate things,

[mrsjnguyen]

Yeah, I think I might take that into consideration.. like, if he decides he wants to start visiting out of nowhere I'll ask for visits to be supervised.. I really don't trust him, but I had a feeling he asked for visitation rights from the court because he wanted to look a bit better on his part. He gave me custody without a fight, and when he did visit he kept trying to make something of us, telling me that his girlfriend thinks something might happen between us and who knows something might happen.. and when I told him I'm happy with my boyfriend and he's happy with girlfriend then there's nothing to worry about, he stopped calling and visiting. I think that might be some reason why he doesn't want to visit, because he thought we could be something again. But, anyway, it's just frustrating to me that he asked for visitation rights when he tells everyone he visits..

[mrsjnguyen]

You're right, I can't force him, and the last thing I want is my daughter to hate that he didn't do it on his own.

I guess the reason why I want him in her life is because he has a messed up life and when he, was with Kairi and I, he was actually taking life seriously. But, I guess at this point I should suck up and forget about him. The only thing that bugs me is that he asked the court of visitation rights, and he doesn't use them.. and the last thing I want is him coming around whenever he wants and keep coming in and out of her life, I really don't want her hurt and confused about him. Which is why I either want him to start visiting her regularly to build a healthy relationship, or just give up all-together to save her from being as hurt as I was.

[mrsjnguyen]

A year? All right, I guess I'll look into that.. if not, I should just try and forget it somehow..