[ANB428]

I am not sure if this is in the right area, if it is not, please move it to the correct area.

I am looking into obtaining a passport for my 4 year old daughter. My mom wants to plan a trip for us to go to Germany. I have been told by non-reliable sources that I can not get a passport for her unless her father approves of it as well. I am not with her father and haven't been for 4 years. He has never paid me child support and hasn't seen my daughter since she was 2 months old. I am not really sure where he is living now because I don't have any contact with him. Do you know if I need his approval to get a passport for my daughter? If I do, how do I get it if I can not locate him? Thanks in advance for any advice.

[JudyKayTee]

Law says you need his permission. An Attorney can find him or serve him by publishing a legal notice with certain retrictions.

[ANB428]

Okay, so I have to hire an attorney for that too? I have to hire an attorney to change my daughter's last name as well.

What do I do if I don't have the money for an attorney?

[JudyKayTee]

Okay, so I have to hire an attorney for that too? I have to hire an attorney to change my daughter's last name as well.

What do I do if I don't have the money for an attorney?

I have no idea - I don't make the rules. I guess if you don't have the money, you don't go to Germany.

Maybe you don't have children with irresponsible people in the first place.

You asked and I answered - please don't shoot the messenger.

[this8384]

I'm confused... I thought you said he was living in California:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...me-376286.html

Now you're saying you don't know where he is. Which one is it?

[JudyKayTee]

I'm confused....I thought you said he was living in California:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...me-376286.html

Now you're saying you don't know where he is. Which one is it?

Wow - great catch. Yes, the post was, "I live in the state of AL. Also, what do I need to do if he lives in CA and I live in AL? Can I just send him the forms and have him sign them and send them back to me, or what? Another question: How much will this cost? Thanks in advance for any advice given."

Circumstances changed from post to post.

[this8384]

Wow - great catch. Yes, the post was, "I live in the state of AL. Also, what do I need to do if he lives in CA and I live in AL? Can I just send him the forms and have him sign them and send them back to me, or what? Another question: How much will this cost? Thanks in advance for any advice given."

Circumstances changed from post to post.

And all of these "changes" happened in the last 3 months. Wow!

[cdad]

And all of these "changes" happened in the last 3 months. Wow!

Just wait till they figure out that they are going to need a permission slip from the father to travel with the child regardless if there is a passport or not.

BTW.. good catch.

[ANB428]

I'm confused....I thought you said he was living in California:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...me-376286.html

Now you're saying you don't know where he is. Which one is it?

Yea, a lot changes with a drug addict. They jump from place to place. He is in CA and I did know where he was three months ago, he was with his father. Now he has disappeared again. I am not out there, therefore I can not go look for him. So, I don't know where he is now to give him the papers, I am sure that he is running from the law again. He was staying with his dad, now he is not. So, I don't know where he is now.

[this8384]

Oh, this just gets more and more strange. In April, he wanted to see his daughter:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ow-342388.html

Then suddenly in July, he wanted to sign away his rights and allow the OP to change their daughter's surname:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...me-376286.html

In the meantime, she can "barely support her 3-year-old" and was pregnant as of September 2009:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ml#post1253254
BUT she's getting a tattoo when she's allegedly pregnant and broke..? :
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/body-a...oo-334111.html

I think a moderator needs to look into all of this. It's becoming a bit over-the-top.

[ANB428]

I have no idea - I don't make the rules. I guess if you don't have the money, you don't go to Germany.

Maybe you don't have children with irresponsible people in the first place.

You asked and I answered - please don't shoot the messenger.

And before my daughter was born he wasn't on drugs. He didn't start them until I got pregnant. I didn't even know what meth was until everyone in my apartment complex told me that was what he was doing and that is why he was beating me up. Yea, I shouldn't have had a kid with him, but I can't change that now. If I would have known that I was going to have to be a single mother at 18 years old I would have never have gotten with him. For over a year everything was fine with us until I got pregnant and we moved to Cali and he started doing meth.

Now, four years later I can't get anything done for my daughter without him and he is in and out of jail and running all around Orange County trying to be a "drug dealer" and I can't keep up with his life. I know that I should have been more responsible (I have a mother to remind me of that every freaking day), but I am now. I bust my butt for my kid. I work two jobs and go to school full-time and have been for the past 2 years trying to make it so my daughter has a good life. I admit to my mistakes and try to put all the bs behind me and move forward. How long do I have to pay for this mistake? I support her by myself, I have practically given up my social life to make sure my daughter is taken care of (which I don't mind, she is my life and I love her more than anything). I really don't appreciate your little comment though, when I came on here to get advice about obtaining a passport for my daughter if I can't find her father. If I needed someone to constantly tell me that my daughter was a mistake, I would call my mom. Thanks!

[ANB428]

Oh, this just gets more and more strange. In April, he wanted to see his daughter:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ow-342388.html

Then suddenly in July, he wanted to sign away his rights and allow the OP to change their daughter's surname:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...me-376286.html

In the meantime, she can "barely support her 3-year-old" and was pregnant as of September 2009:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ml#post1253254
BUT she's getting a tattoo when she's allegedly pregnant and broke....?!:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/body-a...oo-334111.html

I think a moderator needs to look into all of this. It's becoming a bit over-the-top.

Yea, in April he did want to see his daughter cause that was the month of her birthday and he was in jail. He sent a letter for that one.

Then in July I am guessing that he relapsed again and started doing dope again, so he sent me a text saying that he wanted to sign over his rights, which would have been awesome if that could have happened. And he was finally going to let me change her last name to mine.

And, yes. I can barely support my daughter and that was over a year ago when I had gotten pregnant. I lost the baby on September 6, 2008. And it wasn't with my daughter's father. Thank God.

I got my tattoo after that and my mother took me to go get it thank you very much.

I don't have to sit here and explain myself to you. Honestly.

And, things go back and forth with drug addicts and a lot of things happen during that time. I don't see what my old pregnancy had to do with any of this or the tattoo that I got. And a $50 tattoo is way cheaper than a $500 lawyer.

Have a moderator check me please.

[this8384]

And before my daughter was born he wasn't on drugs. He didn't start them until I got pregnant. I didn't even know what meth was until everyone in my apartment complex told me that was what he was doing and that is why he was beating me up. Yea, I shouldn't have had a kid with him, but I can't change that now. If I would have known that I was going to have to be a single mother at 18 years old I would have never have gotten with him. For over a year everything was fine with us until I got pregnant and we moved to Cali and he started doing meth.

Now, four years later I can't get anything done for my daughter without him and he is in and out of jail and running all around Orange County trying to be a "drug dealer" and I can't keep up with his life. I know that I should have been more responsible (I have a mother to remind me of that every freaking day), but I am now. I bust my butt for my kid. I work two jobs and go to school full-time and have been for the past 2 years trying to make it so my daughter has a good life. I admit to my mistakes and try to put all the bs behind me and move forward. How long do I have to pay for this mistake? I support her by myself, I have practically given up my social life to make sure my daughter is taken care of (which I don't mind, she is my life and I love her more than anything). I really don't appreciate your little comment though, when I came on here to get advice about obtaining a passport for my daughter if I can't find her father. If I needed someone to constantly tell me that my daughter was a mistake, I would call my mom. Thanks!

Nobody told you that your daughter was a mistake. Stop reading into things.

You are choosing to "support your daughter by yourself" because you refuse to take the necessary steps to obtain support for her. If you can't afford the fees, then apply for a waiver - that is not uncommon whatsoever. Why don't you apply for state assistance?

Your mother tells you that her grandchild was a mistake? What a piece of work. This is the same woman who wants to pay for you two to go to Germany? What's her motive?

[ANB428]

this8384 disagrees: Nobody told you your daughter was a mistake. You need to start being more responsible because you clearly haven't learned from any of the choices you make.

Well, when you are on birth control and use condoms you don't expect to get pregnant. The reason that I got pregnant is because the condom broke and I was on an antibiotic previous to that happening. Again, I don't need to explain myself to you. I am probably more responsible than you honestly.

[this8384]

I am probably more responsible than you honestly.

Two accidental pregnancies and getting a tattoo while you're pregnant?

Yes, that just screams "responsibility" to me.

EDIT: I don't want you to "explain" yourself to me; I want you to try being honest on the board like everyone who has wasted the time trying to help you.

[this8384]

I'm sorry: three unplanned pregnancies
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...me-245203.html

[ANB428]

Nobody told you that your daughter was a mistake. Stop reading into things.

You are choosing to "support your daughter by yourself" because you refuse to take the necessary steps to obtain support for her. If you can't afford the fees, then apply for a waiver - that is not uncommon whatsoever. Why don't you apply for state assistance?

Your mother tells you that her grandchild was a mistake? What a piece of work. This is the same woman who wants to pay for you two to go to Germany? What's her motive??

I have taken the necessary steps to support my daughter. When I left my daughter's father when she was 2 months old, I went to a domestic violence shelter. In the shelter I got a restraining order on her father and filed for child support. Over the past 4 years I have called and called and called the DA in CA to see about the child support and all they tell me is that they can't find him to serve him the papers and that they child support is collecting. Blah Blah Blah. The last time I called them to change my address with them and to give them a current address for him was about 3 months ago when he was living with his dad. The child support place told me that he owes me $40,000 as of that date. I am tired of going round and round with them and I am not holding my breath to get child support. He doesn't get a job because they will garnish his checks, so he goes to jail cause he deals drugs and then gets out and deals drugs then he goes back to jail and the cycle is repeated. Therefore, I am stuck to support my daughter all by myself. And you see how my mother thinks about it. As for getting state assistance, I have tried. I make too much money with my one job which is $10 an hour, that is why I had to get my second job.

Yes, my real mother tells me that. The woman that wants to take me and my daughter to Germany is not actually my biological mother, I consider her my mother though. She has always been there for me and has been a better mother to me than my actual mother. And yes, she is a piece of work, but she is the reason why I am the way I am now.

[this8384]

Time to close. Story keeps changing, people are getting catty. The OP got an accurate answer at the beginning of the thread.

[JudyKayTee]

Yea, in April he did want to see his daughter cause that was the month of her birthday and he was in jail. He sent a letter for that one.

Then in July I am guessing that he relapsed again and started doing dope again, so he sent me a text saying that he wanted to sign over his rights, which would have been awesome if that could have happened. And he was finally going to let me change her last name to mine.

And, yes. I can barely support my daughter and that was over a year ago when I had gotten pregnant. I lost the baby on September 6, 2008. And it wasn't with my daughter's father. Thank God.

I got my tattoo after that and my mother took me to go get it thank you very much.

I don't have to sit here and explain myself to you. Honestly.

And, things go back and forth with drug addicts and a lot of things happen during that time. I don't see what my old pregnancy had to do with any of this or the tattoo that I got. And a $50 tattoo is way cheaper than a $500 lawyer.

Have a moderator check me please.

Here's my problem - you don't post the same story twice. You have an explanation for every conflicting answer.

You have no money for an Attorney. You have money for a tattoo. That's your own decision, of course, but I have to wonder. You say you can "barely afford" to support your daughter - so you spent $50 on a tattoo? You have one out of wedlock child you can "barely afford" to support. And so you get pregnant with another?

Do you work? Are my taxes supporting you?

You trash the very people who are trying to help you.

No one here has any preconceived notions about anyone else - "we" all live and die by what we post. You are judged by what you have said, as am I, as is everyone else.

As far as requesting a visit from the moderators - I agree. Minimally you should be warned that you are taking up people's time... for no valid reason.

[Fr_Chuck]

And he is calling threatening, and I still have issue with child custody though a restraining order which still is not true.

I believe we have someone making up facts as they go along.

I am closing this thread and several of the other open ones