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    needhelp77's Avatar
    needhelp77 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 5, 2009, 08:16 PM
    How to prove father of my children unfit?
    I am married, my husband has abused me but not the children. He drinks all the time, has been in jail several times in the last 3 yrs ( from spousal abuse to DWI to assault with bodily injury), and is on probation. I have the kids full time right now but he wants to take me to court for full costudy. I need to know what information I need to prove he is unfit.
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #2

    May 5, 2009, 08:24 PM

    You will have to start some sort of divorce proceedings against him and ask for temporary full custody of the children. If he's still on probation, most likely he's not going to be getting full custody regardless of what he says with a past record like he has.

    You need to consult with an attorney about this as soon as possible.

    Apparently you are not living in the same house as he is. Does he have a full time job? Does he have a large enough home to accommodate all the children? Does he have someone lined up to take care of them when he's at work? You didn't say the children's ages so it's hard to really answer that one.
    Sunflowers's Avatar
    Sunflowers Posts: 218, Reputation: 23
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    #3

    May 5, 2009, 08:29 PM

    As Twinks points out, setting out to prove him to be unfit may not be the best approach. Filing for divorce and hiring an attorney is what you need to do first.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    May 5, 2009, 08:36 PM

    Your attorney will use his arrest record, his jail record and copies of all the police reports of abuse.
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #5

    May 6, 2009, 06:36 AM

    Its pretty hard to prove someone unfit. Not nearly as clean and easy as it sounds.

    Like the others have said - you probably should just file for custody and divorce and deal with fitness if the need arises.

    Most cases of abuse I have seen involve this situation. Claiming the abuser is going to try to get custody often convinces the abused to not leave or not fight. It is a classic form of abuse. "If you leave me you will lose the kids"

    BS.

    Make him prove it in court.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #6

    May 8, 2009, 05:34 AM

    To add to what Stevectg said - the fact that a person is an unfit husband does NOT make him an unfit father.

    People get tangled up in this "question" all the time. It's difficult to understand and I realize that but these are two different issues.
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