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curious556 · May 11, 2008, 11:25 AM

Hi I was just wondering if emancipation was right for me, my parents have put a complete lockdown on me for over three months now, and I'm still in school, I want to be with my friend but they alwys say no, so when I sneak out it is very scary if they find out because my father scares me allot. They will never listen to how I feel or even let me talk, they are telling me to quit my job just so I can stay home. My dad will threaten me if my gardes aren't up to HIS standards. I have an OK job with steady income, I have located a place to live and it is close to school and work so I can commute by bike to save money. I just want out if this so any response would be nice. Thanks

JudyKayTee · May 11, 2008, 11:34 AM

What State, because it varies.

In general you would have to petition the Court and prove you are self-supporting. Easier, of course, if your parents would consent. They would be foolish to let you just leave without being emancipated because they are legally responsible for you until you reach the age of majority. In some States you are automatically emancipated if you marry or join the Military - not suggesting either one is a good idea.

What is so important that you sneak out? They probably won't talk to you or trust you because - you sneak out of the house behind their backs.

Fr_Chuck · May 11, 2008, 12:33 PM

Let me see parents yell and ground you to protect you from people they believe are not safe, you prove you are mature by sneaking out ?

You have a job, so it appears they believe you are also lying to them perhaps on what you are doing there at work also.

And why are you sneaking out.

Ok, do they physcially abuse you, the grounding and yelling sounds like good parents to me, so sorry no defense there.

But do you have enough money to hire an attorney an file for enacipation, do you have enough money for court costs, do you have enough money to pay rent, deposit, electric, natural gas, and buy foods, pay school costs, pay for clothes and so on. It takes a lot of money to pay all the bills, have you worked out a budget.

Then you need a reason to show that this is in your best interest, and parents being over protective is not normally a reason.

So perhaps start doing what they ask, stop seeing people they tell you to stop seeing and then they will trust you, and unground you.

stinawords · May 11, 2008, 12:35 PM

First, if you are really scared, you need to talk to the school counselor. He/she will know of hotlines in your area or other offices that can if need be contacted. I know everyone make fun of the school counselors but they really are there for a reason. Second, Judy is right and even if you were to want to get married or join the military if you are still a minor you have to have your parents permission which I also agree with her as to why they won't listen to you. We have all been teenagers and know what it's like, now most of us have kids and know what that's like too. But as I said go talk to your counselor and see what kind of options you have and what state guidelines are.

curious556 · May 11, 2008, 09:35 PM

Originally Posted by curious556

hi i was just wondering if emancipation was right for me, my parents have put a complete lockdown on me for over three months now, and im still in school, i want to be with my friend but they alwys say no, so when i sneak out it is very scary if they find out because my father scares me allot. They will never listen to how i feel or even let me talk, they are telling me to quit my job just so i can stay home. my dad will threaten me if my gardes arn't up to HIS standards. I have an ok job with steady income, i have located a place to live and it is close to school and work so i can commute by bike to save money. I just want out if this so any response would be nice. Thanks

Thank you for all of your advice, I can see what you mean and I have talked to a consoler and they have herd my situation more indepth, I can make about 1500 (after taxes) a month with my jobs and still have time for school work. I have a buddy who is renting out for 350 a month that included all needed utilities, plus I don't drive so I save about 300 a month with no insurance or gas. I figure about 200$ every two weeks for food and clothes. Which leaves about 750$ left for any needed expenses. As to why they don't listen they always see a story as to how they want no matter what even if they contact and see I'm telling the truth they still don't want to believe me even though they know I'm right. I can see how they are looking out for me but it is hard to have any motivation when I receive no support for the good things that I do. I am now getting good grades and they won't even acknowledge it. I just feel like I need to just get away even for a little while to see how things go. I will turn 18 in October but if they decide to keep me indoors all summer except for work I just can't deal with that. Your responses are very helpful to me and greatly appreciate them

JudyKayTee · May 12, 2008, 05:35 AM

Originally Posted by curious556

Thank you for all of your advice, I can see what you mean and i have talked to a consoler and they have herd my situation more indepth, i can make about 1500 (after taxes) a month with my jobs and still have time for school work. I have a buddy who is renting out for 350 a month that included all needed utilities, plus i don't drive so i save about 300 a month with no insurance or gas. I figure about 200$ every two weeks for food and clothes. Which leaves about 750$ left for any needed expenses. As to why they don't listen they always see a story as to how they want no matter what even if they contact and see im telling the truth they still don't want to belive me even though they know im right. I can see how they are looking out for me but it is hard to have any motivation when i receive no support for the good things that I do. I am now getting good grades and they wont even acknowledge it. I just feel like i need to just get away even for a little while to see how things go. I will turn 18 in october but if they decide to keep me indoors all summer except for work i just can't deal with that. Your responses are very helpful to me and greatly appreciate them

You seem to have looked into living away from your parents - if not emancipation - very carefully which a lot of the people who ask this question do not do.

My concern is the lack of supervision if you live with a friend - and that will be the concern of your parents and the Court, too.

Is it possible for you to live with a relative? Maybe that would appease your parents and also solve your problem.

What are your plans for the future? College? Trade school? Can you accomplish that on your own?

Fr_Chuck · May 12, 2008, 09:44 AM

To be honest since most emanciptation cases can take months, you will have many issues of getting it done to be "out in the summer"

curious556 · May 12, 2008, 08:38 PM

Originally Posted by curious556

hi i was just wondering if emancipation was right for me, my parents have put a complete lockdown on me for over three months now, and im still in school, i want to be with my friend but they alwys say no, so when i sneak out it is very scary if they find out because my father scares me allot. They will never listen to how i feel or even let me talk, they are telling me to quit my job just so i can stay home. my dad will threaten me if my gardes arn't up to HIS standards. I have an ok job with steady income, i have located a place to live and it is close to school and work so i can commute by bike to save money. I just want out if this so any response would be nice. Thanks

OK thanks again they person I would be staying with has his own business and I know him very well through it and is almost thirty, I plan I graduate high school and move into the construction trades because the trades offer life long financinal benefits.

JudyKayTee · May 13, 2008, 05:21 AM

Originally Posted by curious556

ok thanks again they person i would be staying with has his own business and i know him very well through it and is almost thirty, I plan i graduate high school and move into the construction trades because the trades offer life long financinal benifits.

Well, if you have plans and supervision perhaps your parents will consent - as FrChuck said, you are very close to 18 anyway.

cass_nicole · Jun 12, 2012, 09:55 PM

You sound like your in the same position as me so I understand why you would sneak out 100% my parents won't let me see my best friend because I got in trouble while at her house ONCE. I will tell you that my family had been through counsling and it has done nothing. Eventually my dad did get physical though so I would DEFIANTLY suggest you get help before it gets to that point! I'm sorry you have to br in this position and I wish you the best!

JudyKayTee · Jun 13, 2012, 10:48 AM

Originally Posted by cass_nicole

You sound like your in the same position as me so I understand why you would sneak out 100% my parents wont let me see my best friend because I got in trouble while at her house ONCE. I will tell you that my family had been through counsling and it has done nothing. Eventually my dad did get physical though so I would DEFIANTLY suggest you get help before it gets to that point! I'm sorry you have to br in this position and I wish you the best!!

The question is about emancipation - what is your advice.

I'm guessing you mean definitely, not defiantly.