Originally Posted by
DZRTFX4
So I know that I dont have any rights as a father untill paternity is established. She is trying to move out of state on me. I live in Ca and she is going to Fl. Can i stop her?
She doesnt have a job or her own place. She is living with her sister and her family. She is already trying to get money out of me. We are no longer together. She hasnt had a job in the past 2 years and still doesnt. She is expecting me to support her and my son.
So I guess I want to know what my financial responsibilities are for this situation. I want to be there 150% for my son but i am tired of taking care of her. I know as soon as my son is born there will be child support. Im not worried about paying anything I have to and will without question. She is trying to say that I need to pay for it all . I have a good job and safe house for him to live in. I dont want to take my son away from her mother. If she was to move then I would do anything I could to get him back here with me.
Sorry if I sound or wrote that weird, all this has made it hard to think straight.
Thanks for any help.
You've asked one of the most interesting questions I've ever encountered on this board. Correct me if I am wrong: your girlfriend is pregnant with your son, the child was conceived in California where you both live but she wants to move to Florida. Did I get that right? Question: can you stop her from moving and can you get custody orders in California?
In California you can file an action before a child is born to obtain custody orders that would apply when the child is born; i.e, they would be prospective custody orders. In spite of the common misunderstanding out there that surrounds this subject, you do not have to wait until the child pops out to run to court and ask for custody or visitation, not at least in California. You could file right now to establish paternity and seek custody [as I said, prospectively, of course].
Now, when you file such an action, temporary restraining orders go into effect automatically the enjoin the parties from removing a child of the relationship from the state without the written permission of the other parent or a court order. But, if you file tomorrow, will the restraining orders prevent your girlfriend from leaving the state, as a pregnant mom? In other words, is the unborn child a "child" for purposes of the restraining orders [oh no, I've heard THAT question come up before, is an unborn child a child? ] See the problem? My hunch is the restraining orders cannot stop her from leaving the state while pregnant. And I don't know how you can force her to give birth in any particular state, which leads to the next problem.
If you cannot stop the mom from leaving the state pregnant (and I don't know how you can), will California pre-birth custody orders be jurisdictionally valid if the child is born in Florida? If the child is born in Florida, then Florida immediately becomes the child's "home state" for child custody jurisdiction purposes and California's claim to custody jurisdiction would be questionable [the relevant statute, the UCCJEA, that controls custody jurisdiction, appears to contemplate jurisdiction only over child who are born, not over the unborn].
These questions, to my knowledge, have no specific answer to them in statutory or case law (If anyone has an answer, please chime in--where's GV70, by the way! )
My recommendation: file an action in California, ask for pre-birth custody orders (again, never mind the apparent absurdity to the notion of having custody of an unborn child, the orders would be prospective and apply at the birth of the child) and this alone might dissuade the mom from leaving until your son is born. I'd do it right away. The sooner the better.