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jxm2332 · Sep 5, 2008, 01:48 PM

I had a one night stand with a girl 12/04. She was married at the time (I did not know). She got pregnant. Had the baby 9/05. The baby has her then husbands last name. He filed for divorce shortly after the baby was born (assuming he must have figured out it was not his) He never disestablished paternity. I ran into her 3 months after the baby was born and asked if it was mine she said "no, it was another gentleman's - that was not her husband." Never seen or heard from her again until 05/08 when I was served papers claiming I was the father. In looking at public records I seen she went after the other gentleman first. She made a claim against him 07/07 and he had a paternity test and he is not the father. I recently had a child of my own with my girlfriend and now my life is upside down because shen her and I decided to have a child its because we could financially afford him and now with this I feel ruined and my sons life is being effected. She is requesting child support from the time of birth and all medicals. I feel this is unfair to me and my new born son because had I known I had other responsibilities I would have never had him due to the fact I know I couldn't afford it. Please note I am in the state of Florida.

JudyKayTee · Sep 5, 2008, 01:52 PM

Originally Posted by jxm2332

I had a one night stand with a girl 12/04. she was married at the time (I did not know). she got pregnant. had the baby 9/05. The baby has her then husbands last name. He filed for divorce shortly after the baby was born (assuming he must have figured out it was not his) He never disestablished paternity. I ran into her 3 months after the baby was born and asked if it was mine she said "no, it was another gentleman's - that was not her husband." Never seen or heard from her again until 05/08 when I was served papers claiming I was the father. In looking at public records I seen she went after the other gentleman first. She made a claim against him 07/07 and he had a paternity test and he is not the father. I recently had a child of my own with my girlfriend and now my life is upside down because shen her and I decided to have a child its because we could financially afford him and now with this I feel ruined and my sons life is being effected. She is requesting child support from the time of birth and all medicals. I feel this is unfair to me and my new born son because had I known I had other responsibilities I would have never had him due to the fact I know I couldn't afford it. Please note I am in the state of Florida.

If this is your child, yes, you will be ordered to pay support. Not unusual (unfortunately) for a woman not to be certain of the father's identity and for more than one man to be tested.

I don't know how the mother can collect back support for a child you didn't know existed, particularly when you asked her about it. I do definitely see ongoing support if you are the father.

Maybe it's unfair to you, maybe it's not, but the Court will decide it's fair to the child.

So much for unprotected one night stands with women with multiple partners.

This gets posted every now and then - if it gives you any comfort, you're not alone in this problem.

stinawords · Sep 5, 2008, 02:14 PM

You will go to court and the judge will order a DNA test. When the results come back you will either be ordered to pay support and you can have visitation ordered as well OR if you aren't the father either then you will be free to go. This is just one of the things that have to be thought of before having a sexual relationship no matter how unfair to you the child still has to eat and have a roof over their head.

cdad · Sep 5, 2008, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by jxm2332

I had a one night stand with a girl 12/04. she was married at the time (I did not know). she got pregnant. had the baby 9/05. The baby has her then husbands last name. He filed for divorce shortly after the baby was born (assuming he must have figured out it was not his) He never disestablished paternity. I ran into her 3 months after the baby was born and asked if it was mine she said "no, it was another gentleman's - that was not her husband." Never seen or heard from her again until 05/08 when I was served papers claiming I was the father. In looking at public records I seen she went after the other gentleman first. She made a claim against him 07/07 and he had a paternity test and he is not the father. I recently had a child of my own with my girlfriend and now my life is upside down because shen her and I decided to have a child its because we could financially afford him and now with this I feel ruined and my sons life is being effected. She is requesting child support from the time of birth and all medicals. I feel this is unfair to me and my new born son because had I known I had other responsibilities I would have never had him due to the fact I know I couldn't afford it. Please note I am in the state of Florida.

You and your lawyer have a lot of homework to do. It seems Florida laws have been changing a lot. But Im not sure they were meant to be retroactive. Because the child was born inside of wedlock then the " normal " condition that exists is that the husband is the reputed father. Even if they weren't the one that actually conceived the child. So your council needs to determine how the law applies to your case. If the husband was the reputed father and somehow got his rights revoked your going to need to know that for your case. Also your going to need to know the grounds around any other gentleman that has been involved with her and baby. The argument in this case is that because he knew she was pregnant the assumption was it was his. The closing factor is she had cheated on him and that fact was never revealed. ( and in Florida that's actually breaking the law. ) It sounds like everything is going to get expensive and all this may be mute if your DNA test comes back negative. Good Luck.