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    Shell_Lee's Avatar
    Shell_Lee Posts: 83, Reputation: 10
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Mar 6, 2008, 11:46 AM
    "reasonable times upon reasonable notice"
    My son will be 9 in about 2 1/2 weeks. His father has had absolutely no contact with him since July 1, 2006. He lives about 10 min away and just hasn't bothered calling in this time. BF and his wife can't even keep a phone so I have no idea what their phone number is anymore (or if they even have one). When custody was set up, I was given sole physical and legal custody of my son with the father having visitation of "reasonable times upon reasonable notice".

    I am getting married in less than a month. BF knew that I am getting married (he was informed by me about a year ago) but did not know the exact date. I'm a little worried that once he finds out that I am married he will want to jump back into his son's life again (it's kind of been a pattern of this since my son was born). Or maybe nothing will change and I won't have to worry.

    I want to be prepared in case he does call though. Would I be out of line to say no to visitation and that he should bring me to court in order to see our son? My son remembers that he has a father out there and his name, but that's it. He doesn't remember anything else about his BF anymore. If he does take me to court then, could I ask for supervised visitation for x amount of time? Being more specific, that BF mom will supervise visitation? My son (and myself included) have a fantastic relationship with BF mom. BF, on the other hand, has not seen his mom in over a year.

    Thanks
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,687, Reputation: 1438
    Internet Research Expert
     
    #2

    Mar 6, 2008, 02:13 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Shell_Lee
    My son will be 9 in about 2 1/2 weeks. His father has had absolutely no contact with him since July 1, 2006. He lives about 10 min away and just hasn't bothered calling in this time. BF and his wife can't even keep a phone so I have no idea what their phone number is anymore (or if they even have one). When custody was set up, I was given sole physical and legal custody of my son with the father having visitation of "reasonable times upon reasonable notice".

    I am getting married in less than a month. BF knew that I am getting married (he was informed by me about a year ago) but did not know the exact date. I'm a little worried that once he finds out that I am married he will want to jump back into his son's life again (it's kind of been a pattern of this since my son was born). Or maybe nothing will change and I won't have to worry.

    I want to be prepared in case he does call though. Would I be out of line to say no to visitation and that he should bring me to court in order to see our son? My son remembers that he has a father out there and his name, but that's it. He doesn't remember anything else about his BF anymore. If he does take me to court then, could I ask for supervised visitation for x amount of time? Being more specific, that BF mom will supervise visitation? My son (and myself included) have a fantastic relationship with BF mom. BF, on the other hand, has not seen his mom in over a year.

    Thanks
    For starters you can say no if its unreasonable but you can't keep saying no or you face losing the child. There is an order already in place and if you violate that then you're the one in trouble. As far as the fantastic relationship with BF mom have you asked her how to contact her son ? Also if your going to ask for supervised visits then your going to have to explain why.. and it better be good. Your in a tough spot but not an impossible one and if he wants to be involved in his sons life is that a bad thing ? If so you will need to explain that to a judge.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,292, Reputation: 7691
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    #3

    Mar 6, 2008, 03:24 PM
    You can not just refuse, ( unless there is some real danger) if you keep saying no, the judge is more likely to hold you in contempt of court more than to be favorable to you.

    If you want to change his level of visits, NOW before he tries to visit is when to change. Often to get supervised visits, you will have to prove he is a danager to the child. Also while you did not mention child support, if he is not current, that needs to be addressed.

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