I have a 2 month old son who was born 7 weeks premature. He had to remain in the NICU for 2 weeks before I could bring him home. His father and I are not together. He has not seen the baby since I brought him home but is threatenting to take me to court to get overnight visitation set up. He doesn't have a job, doesn't pay child support, and has a criminal background. He has also spent time in a pysch ward. His entire family lives out of state and he has threatened to take my baby there so I can know what its like to be away from him. If he takes me to court will a judge really give him overnight visitaion rights? Can I ask that it not be overnight, and possibly supervised? I'm so scared that he's going to take off with my son, and given that he's only 2 months old, isn't that too young to stay with him overnight?

If you present proof that he's an unfit parent you can fight that. Namely his criminal record. Are they violent offences?

Not that I know of. I know he has a felony for credit crad fraud and stolen identity. He has also had his license suspended twice within the past year for not having car insurance. He lied in court the first time they suspended his license and was able to get it back but then the BMV ran his insurance and realized it was fake so now he has a pending case with the state of Ohio.

If this is all untrue... then use that in the court. Say that he is unreliable (no transportation), is threatening to take your child out of state, and that he's a bad influence. Is there another man in your life?

No, I haven't been with anyone but him in over a year. He has a new girlfriend and he has sent me text messages saying that whether I like it or not she is going to be a part of my son's life and there's nothing I can do about it. He wants to have overnight visitation so him and his girlfriend can play house with my son. Isn't 2 months old a little too soon for my son to have to stay with him overnight? I mean, I'm still breast feeding. I told chris (the father) that I can't possibly pump enough breast milk to be away from him for that long, and he said that he will just give him formula when he's with him. Isn't that my call? I'm the one who decided to breast feed in the first place, so why should he have the right to take that away from me?

I honestly don't think that the judge would give him overnight visitation at this age...

I really hope not. I can't stand the thought of being away from my son. And I can't stand the thought of his dad just using him as an accesory to show off. He's not concerned with what's best for the baby. He's just trying to hurt me

I agree. I think that sounds like what's happening.

Thanks for helping. I can talk to my family and friends all day long and listen to their opinions, but it also helps to hear it from someone not involved with the situation. So thank u!

You take him to court and do what you have to do to protect your son. He may get visitation but ask - demand - that the visitation be supervised. One of the Help Desk members posted some very information on proving an unfit parent. Hope you read through the following and then find yourself a good attorney:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ent-46931.html

Hello ashley:

The father WILL get visitation. I doubt he'll get overnight's while the baby is an infant, but he WILL be able to participate in the child's life - AND HE SHOULD!!

Let me ask you this, ashley. The baby is only two months old. Are you saying that you didn't know about his criminal background before you slept with him?? Sure you did... It was OK then, huh? What's wrong with it now?

excon

This man does not sound like a fit parent. He should not get visitation unless he has cleaned up his act. I do however agree with excon. You knew that this man wasn't good for YOU, yet you still had his baby. Not to say that you should have had an abortion, that is your choice. But knowing this he had a criminal record and wouldn't be a good person to date, you proceeded to have sex with him. Then you found out that you were pregnant, had your child and now you are complaining that he's not a good person for your child to be around. While this may be true, you are the one that made the choice to date him, sleep with him and have his child. You must either live with the consequences that you made a bad choice and let your child get to know his father, or proceed to terminate all parental rights (legally). We must live with our choices. And when you are bringing a child into this world you are responsible for their choices and the choices that you make for them as well. While I don't feel sorry for you, because this was your own doing, I commend you for seeking what is right (in your mind) for your child. Kudos. I wish you the best of luck in all endeavors and especially this one.

Ashley,
This is kind of a personal question but is he on the birthcertificate? If not you don't have to give him any kind of visitation. Being that your son is so small and more fragile than a full term baby, the court may make him wait until the child has grown before giving any type of visitation. Don't let these people put you down about who you had a child with. What's done is done and you chose to have the child and that's is what is important. My son was 6wks early and I know a little of what you are going through.
Jesse

Whether he is on the because or not doesn't matter. The mother does not have to allow visitation until a court orders it. However, if she allows him to com esee the child in a controlled environment that will sit well with the court.

This concerns me and appears - just my opinion - to be very judgmental. It's too late now to discuss what this young mother could have, should have, would have done.

And I do feel sorry for her - everyone makes mistakes and I'm sure she's heard the lecture before. Some mistakes - like babies - are a lot more obvious to the World than other mistakes.

In the meantime until the Father moves for visitation (which will also involve support, the thought of which might scare him away) I would sit tight. Keep documentation of his behavior because you may need it. Keep a journal.

And as far as the "new" girlfriend being a part of your child's life (from another part of the post), there is little you can do unless she is unfit. It is a very unfortunate fact of life but you cannot control who your X brings into your child's life (unless, as I said, she's dangerous or unfit). You just hope those relationships don't last very long!

You must be exhausted having basically a sick baby - try to take a deep breath and see what "Dad" does next.

In most venues, support and visitation are separate issues. Its possible for the father to be granted visitation without being required to pay support. Its rare but it could happen. But definitely, if he files for custoday and visitation the mother should counter file for support.

Ny own opinion on the judgemental comment. While I agree that it doesn't really help the OP with the initial problem, it may help in the future to make better life decisions. But its also a valid point since she's trying to prevent the father from seeing the child for reasons that were not enough to prevent her from being intimate with this person.

Hi, I am having trouble with my ex's visitation with our 5yr old daughter and not to scare you but Judges are very hard to convience that children are not safe at "bad" fathers house, people may think why did you have this child with this awful person but do not realize that we did not know everything about them and don't realize that like me I stayed with my ex for 5 years just because of the fear of letting her go stay with him alone. I have been in a battle with Pocahontas County,WV family court for 2years now trying to stop my ex's visitation and no luck yet, and like you there is a history of violence, drug abuse and he even has another child he has lost custody of, so from the heart good luck, and keep trying!!

Totally agree :)

And it's not as rare as you think lol... when my daughter's biofather filed for visitation, child support was never mentioned. Had I not got an attorney and had him add child support to the hearing, the bio father would have been granted visitation without any order for child support.

They are 2 separate issues... just like a mother can file for child support but that doesn't automatically set up visitation.