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    blendedfamily6's Avatar
    blendedfamily6 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 17, 2008, 06:41 PM
    Paying Child Support to mom who abandoned child
    I'll try to be brief... My 17 year old daughter chose to live with her mom 100% of the time a year and a half ago. My ex drug me through the court system fighting for an increase in my child suport even though I was still paying her (through automatic deduction from my pay check) for my daughter AND my 20 year old son. I expected a simple modification of support obligations given my son was of majority age. However, my ex wanted more money and therefore convinced my daughter it would be best if she lived with her all the time versus half and half. Nevertheless, We have lived this way until 3 months ago, my ex decides to randomly get married AGAIN and MOVE to another city. She had rarely been at home anyway and my daughter spent most time alone (without a car, food, etc.). So my daughter had a choice... move with Mom and change schools (45 min away) or live with me and finish high school. She chose to live with me... BUT, child support is continuing to go to the mom as if my daughter lived with her 100% of the time. My ex works full time and didn't when child support was modified most recently...

    Q - What can be done to quickly and swiftly modify child support given I am now caring for my daughter?

    Q - Is it illegal to continue to receive child support for a child that does not live with you?

    Q - My ex wants to keep the child support and offer to pay certain expenses, i.e. $100 haircuts, car insurance, cell phone... I don't agree this is best (she has stopped payment on checks before)... This isn't acceptable correct?

    Thanks in advance.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man

    Aug 17, 2008, 06:45 PM
    The day your daughter moved back with you, you should have gone to court and filed for a change in support. Since the support is done through payroll deduction, the agency receiving the support goes by the last court order.

    Again, you need to go to court and request a modification.
    stinawords's Avatar
    stinawords Posts: 2,071, Reputation: 150
    Ultra Member

    Aug 17, 2008, 08:02 PM
    Q1. Get into court as soon as you possibly can!
    Q2. It is legal as long as you don't go to court to have it stopped.
    Q3. That is complelty unacceptable/correct.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692

    Aug 17, 2008, 08:07 PM
    Yes, until there is a new court order you have to pay, so you will have to go to court
    fathersright's Avatar
    fathersright Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 18, 2008, 10:52 AM
    File for modification immediately! Went through this. It took 4 weeks to get a court date even after filing for modification. I paid with stubs, not garnishment, so I was fortunate to get the 3 week window of NOT paying. Otherwise, you pay and lose all that money (nice ha?). I told the judge at the hearing this is why I wrote my congressman. The money if for the CHILD, not the mother, whom is living with... ME. Do you see an issue here? He suspended the payments immediately and later judged in my favor. It's a long process though, and the support collection agencies love this, because this is where they make the money. OR, better yet, if the mother has a debit card, she can spend the money without having to pay it back in the mid-term. Very UNFAIR indeed. MOVE FAST, cause the system does NOT.
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
    Uber Member

    Aug 18, 2008, 04:45 PM
    Why are you still paying for a 20 year old son? Have you discussed this with your attorney as well? Possibly you don't have to keep paying unless he is in college and your court order compels you to pay child support even though he is over 18.

    As for your daughter, immediately see your attorney and have a hearing set for modification of the child support order. You have more than good cause for reversal of this order of deduction. You could schedule both issues at the same time if your attorney says your son is too old or not eligible for child support due to not in college, etc. Some states will make the father go to court for an order to stop child support long after the child turns 18 and the order stands until it is modified.

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