Check out some similar questions!

snowis_cold · Dec 22, 2010, 10:43 PM

My husband has a 4 year old son with another woman and they have never gone to court for legal guidelines. Since their son was born, $300/month goes straight from his bank account to hers for "child support," and we take care of his son every night while she works at the bar, and almost every weekend (excepting those that we have a drill weekend, as we are both members of the national guard). She is a good mom to their son, but she is living with a man who is a well-known drug dealer in our town. I realize that this is hear-say coming from me, but what would it take to gain custody in this situation and get his son away from there?

Fr_Chuck · Dec 22, 2010, 11:25 PM

First is he on the birth certificate, and next no he is not paying child support, he is merely giving this lady money, since there is no court order for this.

1. he needs to get into court and make any and everything official. And unless he is making min wage 300 a month is almost nothing to what child support normally is. Expect it to be closer to about 20 percent of his gross pay.

Unless you can prove the child is in danger, with real proof that has evidence you can show to the court, you will not get the child from the mother.

You may get the child 1/2 the time, with joint custody.
But right now, the mother could just stop him from seeing the child and there is nothing he can do

snowis_cold · Dec 23, 2010, 12:17 PM

Yes, he is on the birth certificate.
I agree that going to court is the right thing to do, but I'm having trouble convincing my husband. He feels that because the mother makes more money than him, she will hire a better lawyer, and in the end he will end up losing time with his son. Is that the likely case? And if so, how can we avoid it?

Fr_Chuck · Dec 23, 2010, 12:32 PM

It is always a possible outcome, often who has the best attorneys do make a difference.. So you have to either accept things they way they are, and understand the mom is in complete control and you have to do exactly like she asks or you go to court and fight for the best deal you can get.

Best odds now would be to ask only for exactly what you have right now, start with that, get it legal and in court.

snowis_cold · Dec 23, 2010, 12:40 PM

I thank you very sincerely for your help.