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glasscastle · May 18, 2009, 10:26 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Have I ever mentioned the time my stepdaughter introduced me as "my Dad's current wife?"

I'd like to mention he had been married once before, divorced for 12 years. We were married for 5 before he died.

I was always Dad's "wife," in quotes, even in Court papers!

I appreciate the information you provided regarding your own personal experience in your life. I have no children, have never been married, and already support a very ill brother financially. I would love to get to know and love this child I just wanted some more information from someone who's been there so as I might prepare myself for any legal issues in the future. I am sorry to hear of your spouse's death and I truly do embrace the advice you offered about leaving out unnecessary details. I will remember that from now on if I ever plan on asking strangers in the public for advice. The only reason I added background information was to explain my reason for being concerned about the possibility of legal issues in the future. I want to be part of this child's life even though neither he or I has had a chance to meet her. I AM looking forward to the day. I just wanted to prepare myself from any possibility of garnishing of assets (and yes he is up to date paying all child support). I use these to provide a home for my younger brother and my grandmother whom my sister and I share responsibilities for. My concern was for the home not the money.

glasscastle · May 18, 2009, 10:36 PM

Originally Posted by this8384

Everyone needs to calm down. I can also see where the OP is coming from. If my husband's ex-wife were to go back to court, she'd could get up to an extra $235/month in child support. Do I worry about it? Of course I do - my stepchildren are well taken care of and I love them as much as their mother does. However, if she would get that increase, it would be absolutely devastating to our income and to our daughter we have together. So I can definitely sense the OP's apprehension.

To glasscastle: attacking members on this board - as you did to stevetcg - is completely out-of-line and not allowed on this board. He sees it in a different way but that doesn't necessarily mean that you're like everyone else. We get thousands of questions from new girlfriends/fiancees/wives who swear that their partner was an innocent man who was taken advantage of by an evil, evil woman.

The bottom line is that by signing the parental acknowledgement form, your partner surrendered a lot of his rights. This is why they tell you repeatedly on the form to not sign if you have any doubt as to the paternity of the child.

She cannot go after any assets that are solely in your name. However, if he falls behind on support and you two file a joint tax return, they can intercept it and take what's "yours."

He did have doubts about the paternity but he felt terrible about the situation that he accepted that responsibility because he didn't want to put her through any more distress at the time. He never complains about his obligations or talks ill of her. He merely stated the facts of what happened and as his very close and longterm friend (before our engadgement) I advised him to obtain this test for practical purposes. It doesn't matter to me that he pays child support. I was going to adopt children in the future anyway it was only the house I was concerned about. The story and what she has written to him sounded a little suspicious and is why I was concerned about her trying to obtain more out of vengeance. When I ask him why he didn't get the test he answered "I didn't want to hurt her feelings". I really want him to part of this child's life. My sister and I growing up without parents I learned how important and valuable it is to have them.

ScottGem · May 19, 2009, 04:16 AM

Please do not use e-mail or private messages to respond to a reply to your thread. Such tools should only be used for correspondence of a personal nature.

I was a bit confused about your e-mail You referred to my comment rules post, but no negative comments were made. That post refers to using the comments FEATURE (Rate This Answer button). Not to a reply to a post. So there was no violation of rules in your thread. So there was no uneven application of rules.

I'm sorry you did not like Steve's comments. But as I said, he was responding to what you posted. You opened the door and I didn't find his comments to be as rude or harsh as you seemed to take them. That may be why no one else commented on them. Definitely not as rude as your sarcastic response. Neither his response nor yours violated any of the site rules, but that doesn't mean that other members can't refer to them in their responses.

Yes sometimes responses are harsh, here. Sometimes the truth hurts. If you feel someone has been overly rude or violates any of the rules, please feel free to use the Report Inappropriate Post link and the moderators will review the post and take appropriate action.

JudyKayTee · May 19, 2009, 04:18 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Please do not use e-mail or private messages to respond to a reply to your thread. Such tools should only be used for correspondence of a personal nature.

I was a bit confused about your e-mail You referred to my comment rules post, but no negative comments were made. That post refers to using the comments FEATURE (Rate This Answer button). Not to a reply to a post. So there was no violation of rules in your thread. So there was no uneven application of rules.

I'm sorry you did not like Steve's comments. But as I said, he was responding to what you posted. You opened the door and I didn't find his comments to be as rude or harsh as you seemed to take them. That may be why no one else commented on them. Definitely not as rude as your sarcastic response. Neither his response nor yours violated any of the site rules, but that doesn't mean that other members can't refer to them in their responses.

Yes sometimes responses are harsh, here. Sometimes the truth hurts. If you feel someone has been overly rude or violates any of the rules, please feel free to use the Report Inappropriate Post link and the moderators will review the post and take appropriate action.

And perhaps a few words about revenge reddies, carrying a difference of opinion to other threads, would fit well here. Ask Me Help Desk - FAQ

glasscastle · May 19, 2009, 05:10 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Please do not use e-mail or private messages to respond to a reply to your thread. Such tools should only be used for correspondence of a personal nature.

I was a bit confused about your e-mail You referred to my comment rules post, but no negative comments were made. That post refers to using the comments FEATURE (Rate This Answer button). Not to a reply to a post. So there was no violation of rules in your thread. So there was no uneven application of rules.

I'm sorry you did not like Steve's comments. But as I said, he was responding to what you posted. You opened the door and I didn't find his comments to be as rude or harsh as you seemed to take them. That may be why no one else commented on them. Definitely not as rude as your sarcastic response. Neither his response nor yours violated any of the site rules, but that doesn't mean that other members can't refer to them in their responses.

Yes sometimes responses are harsh, here. Sometimes the truth hurts. If you feel someone has been overly rude or violates any of the rules, please feel free to use the Report Inappropriate Post link and the moderators will review the post and take appropriate action.

The only reason I wrote to you was because of your line... P.S. Please post a response to let us know whether our answer helped or not. I didn't realize there was a specific place for this. I assumed you must be a "moderator". Thank you for the redirection.

cunfuzed · May 19, 2009, 05:38 AM

I didn't read all the post, but your first post is very blameful on the mother. Regardless of whether she planned it, you should remember these two people had consentual sex, so it doesn't matter who pursued who. Don't remove the responsibility of what your fiancée did and put it all on the mother to make yourself feel better. Nothing changes the fact that this child exists.

ScottGem · May 19, 2009, 05:46 AM

Originally Posted by glasscastle

The only reason I wrote to you was because of your line...P.S. Please post a response to let us know whether our answer helped or not.

Yes it says post a RESPONSE. That's was meant to mean a response in the thread. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

glasscastle · May 19, 2009, 06:10 AM

Originally Posted by cunfuzed

I didnt read all the post, but your first post is very blameful on the mother. regardless of whether or not she planned it, you should remember these two people had consentual sex, so it doesnt matter who pursued who. Dont remove the responsiblity of what your fiancee did and put it all on the mother to make yourself feel better. Nothing changes the fact that this child exists.

You are right. I am also biased because I have known him and his family for many years. Her on the other hand I have only heard from others including close friends of her regarding her character. I did not intend to BLAME her only state that she was NOT A VICTIM and shouldn't keep blaming him for the situation. I just feel sympathetic towards him for having to consistently read this very abusive/demeaning messages. He was careless and knows that as do I.

cunfuzed · May 19, 2009, 06:29 AM

Originally Posted by glasscastle

You are right. I am also biased because I have known him and his family for many years. Her on the other hand I have only heard from others including close friends of her regarding her character. I did not intend to BLAME her only state that she was NOT A VICTIM and shouldn't keep blaming him for the situation. I just feel sympathetic towards him for having to consistently read this very abusive/demeaning messages. He was careless and knows that as do I.

Take a lesson from my situation. When I met my ex, he told me elaborate stories about his previous ex, with whom he had a child. I believed it because I wanted to because I liked him. We were together for several years and near the end I got pregnant. Right after he met someone new, and what did he tell her and the court and even his own family who knew me? He said I got pregnant on purpose and I I took his sperm to ta clinic an had it inserted in me. How else can you explain to someone you want to date, that you have a baby on the way. Well he painted me out as this terribly evil lying person, when no one be he and I knew the whole story. That causes a lot of frustration and anger between two parents who should try to get along for the sake of the child, and its tough, so maybe her messages come from a place of hurt and anger she has yet to overcome. Still that is for him to deal with. It only makes it worse when others start taking sides. What you hear is not always the truth. It wasn't until I met my sons grandmother that she realized her son completely lied about me.

glasscastle · May 19, 2009, 07:11 AM

Originally Posted by cunfuzed

take a lesson from my situation. when i met my ex, he told me elaborate stories about his previous ex, whith whom he had a child. I belived it because I wanted to because I liked him. We were together for several years and near the end I got pregnant. Right after he met someone new, and what did he tell her and the court and even his own family who knew me? He said I got pregnant on purpose and I I took his sperm to ta clinic an had it inserted in me. How else can you explain to someone you want to date, that you have a baby on the way. Well he painted me out as this terribly evil lying person, when no one be he and I knew the whole story. That causes a lot of frustration and anger between two parents who should try to get along for the sake of the child, and its tough, so maybe her messages come from a place of hurt and anger she has yet to overcome. Still that is for him to deal with. It only makes it worse when others start taking sides. What you hear is not always the truth. It wasnt until I met my sons grandmother that she realized her son completely lied about me.

That is truly an unfortunate story and I thank you for sharing it. I guess we never really can completely know anyone or the truth. There really is no one you could say... "NO...they would never do that because everyone is capable of really bad things." That man that murdered his wife Lacy Peterson was such a shock to people that knew them. Everyone said he seemed like such a nice guy. I guess we just have to take our risks and know that there are no guarantees in life that ANYONE will stay with us after a child even if you get married. He never spoke ill of this girl though. In fact it was the opposite. She wasn't even an ex... more like a friend. He was really beating himself up about it for a long time and extremely depressed about the circumstances. He always sees the best in people and sometimes I think people take advantage of people like him.

Curlyben · May 19, 2009, 10:43 AM

>Thread Closed<
As it has run it's course