After 20 years of an abusive husband (I stayed for religious reasons mainly), I finally divorced and have been single parenting now for 8 years... 4 more to go. A couple years ago, my daughter and son-in-law, who lived 1000 miles away and have 4 children, 3 of whom have special needs (they were 2, 1, and newborn twins at the time) asked me to move in with them, along with my 2 teens. My ex wasn't paying any child support at the time (the court now lets him get by with $7 a month... no that's not a typo! $7!), and so it would help all of us. We moved up here, letting another family who lost their home due to the economy, live in our house. For a while, it seemed ideal.

Having lived through a longterm abusive marriage, I was dealing with depression and began talking to a counselor. She worked with me through my post traumatic stress disorder and started encouraging me to date. I did start dating, met a couple wonderful men who I enjoyed, but didn't want to have a longterm relationship with, and then met a wonderful man who I dated for 3 months.

Things were going very well with him, when my daughter told me that they didn't want me dating while I live in their home. The only reason they would give is because they didn't want strangers to know where they lived, but they refused to get to know him, and they felt that my dating endangered their children. (I had done my homework, making sure this was a safe relationship, etc. and he had never been allowed to come to the house, per the first rule they set up when I started dating. He is a wonderful, mature man, no danger at all, and they said it wasn't about him, it was about me dating at all.) I had to break up with him, and then she told me that it would be too stressful for her to see me grieving (she has a heart problem), and insisted I go away for a few weeks. She would make sure my teens did their schoolwork, etc. I didn't like the idea, but she insisted, and while I didn't feel comfortable away from my kids for so long, I went and stayed with my parents who I rarely see because they are on the other side of the country, and it did help me work through the process of at least the beginning of my grief.

The man I had broken up with remained a friend in my life, and when my parents came to visit, they wanted to meet him. They loved him and mentioned that to my daughter, hoping that might cause her and her husband to relax their rule about my not dating. Instead, my daughter and son in law called a "meeting" with my parents and me and said that there would be no discussion, that they had gone through enough criticism about their stand (not from me or my parents... apparently their friends?), but they were setting down a rule that I am not to have anything to do with anyone I've ever dated or their friends or ever be at any events with them. I had to break off friendships, including a man I had dated 7 years ago, who has been one of my closest friends since we dated.

When I tried to protest this, they said they are not discussing it. When my mom said that I have a right to do anything I want on my days off and if it's away from their home, then it doesn't affecting them, they replied that I don't have rights as long as I live with them. They said that if anyone said anything more about it, my kids and I would have to leave. Needless to say my parents were floored.

When we moved here, my son in law had said that he would rather work overtime and allow us to help with the kids, rather than me working overtime, so I have just been working at a job that pays my bills. It's a job I do at home so that I can homeschool my teens. (My daughter and her husband were also homeschooled.) They have insisted on providing things for my teens that I never could have, and while I'm grateful for that, I've been afraid that it was setting us up so that it would be hard for us to leave if we needed to.

I don't make enough money to live on our own here -- the cost of living is much higher than where we came from. Although I would love to move back to where we were originally, my teens are now established here, and I had had to go to court in order to get permission to move here in the first place.

Sure enough, when they laid down these rules about my not having anything to do with former dates, they said that if they have to kick me out because of not following these rules, they would make sure my kids know that I don't really care about them, because I can't provide for them like they can.

All this came down just a few days ago. Oh they also wanted me to trade in my car for a van (which I would make the payments on) or they would trade in their car and son in law would use my car for work, because her friend whose van she has been using just moved. They also suggested that my parents trade their van with my car.

I'm now trying to increase my income so we can move out. I think we should be able to move out in a couple months, but I'm afraid to let them know until I'm sure. Of course, I will probably not be able to provide all the things they have been providing, but I have also felt that my kids are being taken advantage of by having to always babysit for my daughter.

They have done a lot for us and I'm grateful, but this seems a bit much. They don't need our help so much now that their kids are getting older and most of their special needs are resolved or at least much improved. I don't want to stay where we aren't wanted, but I also don't want to get thrown out before I have the money together to get out.

Does anyone know if I have any legal rights here? I don't have money for a lawyer; I'm trying to scrape together every penny to get us moved out. I don't want to cause them trouble, just want to protect my teens and me, if they try to kick us out before I have the money together. Also... this may be far-fetched... but is there anything I can do legally to keep them from fulfilling their threat to tell my kids I don't love them because I'm taking them away where they won't have as much as they have in their home? Aside from the fact that that would hurt me a great deal, as I've always sacrificed my life for my kids, my main concern is the psychological burden it would place on my teens to believe that their mother doesn't love them, or at least to have that doubt planted.

They have rights to evict you at any time . Sometimes they have to warn you of their decision before taking an action, according to the state laws

You have no legal grounds to do it. They may say what they want to say.