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    tmack2833's Avatar
    tmack2833 Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Sep 22, 2006, 08:13 PM
    Joint custody
    If parents are in high conflict and haven't spoken to each other since the mother was 4 or 5 months pregnant and the child is now 6 weeks old, will that keep the father from getting joint custody? The father refuses to talk with her and has a restraining order on her because she is verbally abusive and thinks yelling and cursing will solve everything.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #2

    Sep 23, 2006, 05:36 AM
    Based on your statement it shouldn't interfere. Its not like he's waited years. The child was just born.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,268, Reputation: 7689
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    #3

    Sep 23, 2006, 06:44 AM
    What happens now is he gets an attorney and she gets an attorney, she sues for custoday and child support, he sues for what he things he should get and.or pay.

    The judge decides if he gets joint, or what visitation days and/or weeks he can have.

    So you fight it out in court.

    And most couples in a divorce curse and yell at each other, so normally unless there was real physcial violence it will have no bearing on the judges decision.

    Also since sadly a lot of women go and lie about what happens, too many get restraining orders when none is needed as a weapon to hurt the other party, so judges don't take these are seious unless they were violated.
    SINGLE4's Avatar
    SINGLE4 Posts: 189, Reputation: 33
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    #4

    Sep 23, 2006, 07:44 AM
    I have a very strong opinion on this subject! I hate joint custody... why... cause it never works!

    I know that unless the mother is unfit (does drugs or has sex with someone in front of the kids) the judge usually awards custody to the mother. That shouldn't always be the case!

    Anyway... all joint custody does is bounce the kids back and forth like a yo-yo! Not fair to them! The parents are the ones that can't get along and the kids suffer! The child should have STABILITY!! Either go for full custody or get an everyother weekend visitation set up!
    tmack2833's Avatar
    tmack2833 Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Sep 23, 2006, 03:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by SINGLE4
    I have a very strong opinion on this subject! I hate joint custody... why... cause it never works!

    I know that unless the mother is unfit (does drugs or has sex with someone in front of the kids) the judge usually awards custody to the mother. That shouldn't always be the case!

    Anyway... all joint custody does is bounce the kids back and forth like a yo-yo! Not fair to them! The parents are the ones that can't get along and the kids suffer! The child should have STABILITY!!! Either go for full custody or get an everyother weekend visitation set up!


    Well he is going for sole but that is unlikely because she is not unfit but she wants to use the child against him, he knows if he gets every other weekend eventually she will turn the child against him.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,268, Reputation: 7689
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    #6

    Sep 23, 2006, 03:09 PM
    At least the child is too young to know it is being used as a weapon to hurt the other party.

    This is the sad case of most people, they hurt their children badly by using them as a weapon to hurt the other party more than actually wanting them.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,473, Reputation: 760
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    #7

    Sep 24, 2006, 11:04 AM
    You'd need to talk with an attorney to find out for sure what your chances are. If circumstances are as you say then if the father asks for joint custody he'll probably get it. Conceivably he could even fight for full custody. He might not get it but generally the more he asks for the more he'll get.

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