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    kileysmommy429's Avatar
    kileysmommy429 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 5, 2011, 05:36 PM
    My husband to be. Would like to adopt my daughter. We live in Massachusetts.
    My daughter is 14months, she knows my husband to be been her "dad" from day 1, she does not know her real father. Never been there, never will. I have restraing order on him.he not on my daugther b.c. because he threaten to kill me when I was 6months pregrant anyone know the mass laws on this, or website I can go too.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Jul 5, 2011, 06:08 PM

    You need the consent of the father. I don't see any exceptions.

    The fact that you have a restraining order against him does not mean that he will not, cannot, could not ask for visitation with the child at some future point.

    How long is the restraining order in place?

    An Attorney may be able to make a very good argument for adoption without the consent of the father - but I don't see it's an option.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,927, Reputation: 5430
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    #3

    Jul 5, 2011, 06:12 PM

    I'm not a lawyer, but according to what I've read on this site in answer to similar questions, you and your husband-to-be will have to be married for at least a year before the adoption can take place.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Jul 5, 2011, 06:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    I'm not a lawyer, but according to what I've read on this site in answer to similar questions, you and your husband-to-be will have to be married for at least a year before the adoption can take place.

    Good catch - I missed the "to be" part. The Courts want children in stable homes. They don't consider "live in" situations to be stable.

    I'm not judging. I'm just telling you what the law is.
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #5

    Jul 5, 2011, 06:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    I'm not a lawyer, but according to what I've read on this site in answer to similar questions, you and your husband-to-be will have to be married for at least a year before the adoption can take place.
    Here are the adoption statutes for Massachusetts. I don't see a "married one-year" provision, although I could have overlooked it.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,697, Reputation: 1438
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    #6

    Jul 5, 2011, 07:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by AK lawyer View Post
    Here are the adoption statutes for Massachussets. I don't see a "married one-year" provision, although I could have overlooked it.
    I believe this section addresses the question and its surrounded by issues of husband and wife.

    Ref:
    General Laws: CHAPTER 210, Section 1
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,927, Reputation: 5430
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    #7

    Jul 5, 2011, 07:11 PM

    Also is --

    Section 2A. No decree of adoption shall be entered for the adoption of a child below the age of fourteen until one of the following conditions has been met:

    (A) The child sought to be adopted has been placed with the petitioners for adoption by the department of children and families or by an agency authorized by said department for such purpose, or

    (B) The petitioner is a blood relative of the child sought to be adopted, or

    (C) The petitioner is a step-parent of the child sought to be adopted, or...
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,305, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    Jul 5, 2011, 08:10 PM

    First it is great that you have found someone that is willing and wanting to take on the responsibity. He must be a great catch.

    The issue is, that he first has to be married to you. And then you will need hopefully the bio father to sign over his rights to allow this.

    If he will not sign, but if he will not appear to fight it, there is a great chance the judge will allow it
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #9

    Jul 6, 2011, 07:37 AM

    Please also remember that your daughter WILL find out that your husband to be is NOT her biological father at some point.

    Whether she hates you when she finds out depends on how open you are with her about it---and how long you wait. If you wait until you think she's "old enough", all she's going to see is that you LIED to her about something as important as her identity.

    On the legal side--there's a VERY good reason to need the permission of BOTH biological parents for an adoption to happen. Unless there is PROOF that one parent is a danger to the child, then it's your word against his as to who is the better parent, and frankly---he could decide to have HIS new wife adopt her without YOUR permission if that's the way the law worked.

    Protecting HIS parental rights is also protecting YOUR parental rights.

    But either way, your daughter has a right to know her biological and medical history.

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