My husband recently found out through a DNA test that he has a child with his ex girlfriend(which was before we got together). She is still legally married to her first child's father, which she has been separated from for several years and when her son was born she denied a father. She named the child after the boyfriend she was with at the time and told him the whole pregnancy that it was his and told my husband it wasn't his child. After she and the boyfriend broke up she came at my husband wanting child support. He had caught her cheating being the reason they broke up so he had doubt that the child was even his. He requested a DNA test and came back that it is his. He wants his name added to the child's birth certificate but she says she want allow it... So what can he do legally to get his name added?? Does she have to be divorced inorder to add a father? And my last question is how does he go about making her change the child's last name to his? Thanks for any help giving... :confused: P.S. We live in NORTH CAROLINA

Please-give us some additional information.How old is the child? etc...

§ 51-2.2. Parent includes adoptive parent.
As used in this Article, the terms "parent", "father", or "mother" includes one who has
Become a parent, father, or mother, respectively, by adoption. (2001-62, s. 4.)
§ 49 10. Legitimation.
The putative father of any child born out of wedlock, whether such father resides in North Carolina or not, may apply by a verified written petition, filed in a special proceeding in the superior court of the county in which the putative father resides or in the superior court of the county in which the child resides, praying that such child be declared legitimate
§ 49 12.1. Legitimation when mother married.
(a) The putative father of a child born to a mother who is married to another man may file a special proceeding to legitimate the child. The procedures shall be the same as those specified by G.S. 49 10, except that the spouse of the mother of the child shall be a necessary party to the proceeding and shall be properly served. A guardian ad litem shall be appointed to represent the child if the child is a minor.
(b) The presumption of legitimacy can be overcome by clear and convincing evidence.
(c) The parties may enter a consent order with the approval of the clerk of superior court. The order entered by the clerk shall find the facts and declare the proper person the father of the child and may change the surname of the child.
(d) The effect of legitimation under this section shall be the same as provided by G.S. 49 11.
(e) A certified copy of the order of legitimation under this section shall be sent by the clerk of superior court under his official seal to the State Registrar of Vital Statistics who shall make a new birth certificate bearing the full name of the father of the child and, if ordered by the clerk, changing the surname of the child. (1991, c. 667, s. 2; 1991 (Reg. Sess. 1992), c. 1030, s. 15; 1997 433, s. 4.9; 1998 17, s. 1.)

As to whether his name is on the because, its not up to the mother whether she allows ir or not. If a DNA test shows the child is his then the courts will order an amendment to the because. When he goes for the child support hearing he should petition the court for the change. I strongly suggest he get an attorney before going to any hearing.

For example, in Price v. Howard, 484 S.E.2d 528, 537 (N.C. 1997), the
North Carolina Supreme Court recognized that parents have the right to the care and custody of their
Children, but it also noted that these rights are not absolute. Indeed, the court stated that a parent
May lose this right when
His or her conduct is inconsistent with this presumption or if he or she fails to
Shoulder the responsibilities that are attendant to rearing a child. If a natural parent's
Conduct has not been inconsistent with his or her constitutionally protected status,
Application of the “best interest of the child” standard in a custody dispute with a
Nonparent would offend the Due Process Clause.

The child, I think, is just over a year old... but I'm not certain as to the age. She refused to give any information as to the exact date until he got the DNA test as her way of prooving to him that the child was his I guess?? She now has to give him a copy of the birth certificate and he wants to change the name and be added to it... but she denies him everything and tells him that he can come see the child at her aunts house(hes not allowed at her house) once a month or so(no weekends or taking him away from the house) and she threatens me if I touch the child. Im a mother myself and would never ever hurt a child. She says that she will get a lawyer and do everything in her power to take everything from him but still make him pay child support. She makes up stories about him and about me and I know that he's a great father... hes even took in my daughter as his own after her father ditched out after she was a few months old so she has no reason to say anything about his fatherhood but I personally think she's just doing this to cause problems between me and my husband...

Ok, so what part of "get an attorney" didn't you understand. Your husband has rights but he needs to get a court to formalize those rights. If he wants his name on the because, if he wants visitation, if he wants partial custody, then he has to go to court to get it if she is not willing.

If she lies about him then document that. When you go to court your attorney can cross examine her. If she is threatening to get an attorney, then you preempt her by getting one first and let the attorney advise you how to proceed. But as long as she is being obdurate about things, then he NEEDs to go to court to get his rights. And to do that he needs an attorney.

I Understood The Fact That He Needs To Get An Attorney But We Can Not Afford That! The Only Help We Can Get Is Through Social Services To Get It Sent To Court We Just Need To Know What He Has To Say To The Judge To Get Things Changed If He Needs To Potition It Or What Ever The Case May Be But We Can Not Afford A Lawyer.plus, He Is In The Military And They Will Not Allow Him Time For Such A Process And They Will Not Help Him In Getting A Lawyer Because Its Not Between Two Military Personel It's a Military And A Civilian. So Pretty Much Unless We Can Go To Court And Say What We Need To Get Stuff Done She's Going to Screw Him Over. And There's No Way To Document Anything She Says Because Its Just " Hear Say" Purely "he Said She Said" Stuff It Want Hold Up In Court. So Documenting Anything Would Be A Waste Of Time Unless We Could Back It Up Which Word To Word Isn't Going To Be Enough To Prove Anything

You can't afford NOT to get an attorney. How do you know you can't afford it? Have you tried talking to attorneys and see what they will charge and whether they will accept a payment plan?

We can't tell you what he has to say to a judge. We don't know what the judge will ask. Each case is different.

You still need to document everything. The best advice I can give you if you refuse to get legal representation is to tell the exact truth in court. But I can tell that, if she has an attorney and you don't, the odds are she will get exactly what she wants.

I live in Texas and our attorney general here sets up visitation and child support all in one court date at no cost. Not sure about attorney general's office where you live, though.My greatest suggestion for you on this is since an attorney is not in the budget right now, he should head to he attorney generals office since paternity has been established and let them set up a hearing and give them proof of paternity (or they may want to determine that again). In the hearing they will (in TX for sure) determine child support, visitation, and paternity. Usually when paternity is proven the father of the child is supposed to be added but it may be possible to discuss that with a judge or your attorney during the hearing. Also have you guys tried to bring this case to legal aid. Since it is a case of a father wanting invovement with his child I'd say they would be thrilled to represent him in this case since so many fathers are trying to walk away. Not sure if this helps you any but this some of the things I've had to do in dealing with my son's custody issues.

Just talk to your lawyer

I doubt there is anything legally you can do, to get it added, since they were not married at the time. But he can and should be arranging child support, and visits, and seeing the child every week is more important than what the name is anyway.

We have currently looked into the cost of an attorney. We recently had to hire an attorney 5mths ago due to my 3 year old daughters "father" who is one of those wanting to just walk away. He hadn't been in my child's life since she was 3mths old but now that she is almost 4 and she has went through most of her "milestones"(potty training,teething,sleeping through the night etc) he has decided that he wants his rights and wanted a lot more than he deserved (in my opinion) so we know how much it would cost to get a lawyer. We tried to see if the lawyer we had before would help us but since it was a different county she was unable to do anything for us but refer us to another lawyer in that county which wouldn't help us with a payment plan like my previous one did... so that kind of put us in a bind. My husbands ex hasn't gotten a lawyer yet to my knowledge but I'm not sure that she will at all even. I think its more just for the scare.. and as far as visitation she want let him come see the child until it goes to court... she feels like it will scare and confuse the child... and she doesn't have a phone # that works inorder for him to call and ask about seeing the child nor will she tell him where she lives. She told him that she was OK with him coming to her aunts house once a month for a few hours or so but she doesn't think he should get any more than that because she doesn't like the idea of him leaving with my husband and doesn't like the idea of the child being around me and my child because she feels we have no business there that this is a matter between her and my husband and his other 2 children and not me and MY child... which I don't see that holding up in court... and as far as the attorney general goes he was went to the JAG office and they said that there wasn't anything that could be done with the military to help us because it's a civilan vs. an inlisted... or in other words it's a civilian matter so we have to hire a civilian lawyer... my husband isn't asking for much(in my opinion) he just wants visitation rights,his name on the b.c. and the child to have his last name... he agrees to the child support and everything so I don't see why she has to be so stubborn but she thinks everything should go her way and believes she shouldn't have to pay for anything. She says that he should because he hasn't been there for the child but had he had no doubt in his mind that the child was his(which he had good reason to believe it wasn't cause #1 she told him it wasnt) then he would have been there from day 1 I feel sure... and she feels like it will confuse the child to change or add my husbands name to his last name but I don't see how that would be he's only just turned 1 and I can't see how he even knows his whole name at that age anyway. I have a child of my own and have been around enough in my life to know what a child knows at that age and I just can't see him knowing his first middle and last name at the age of 13mths?? maybe I'm wrong but I just don't see it being possible... ok I could agree with his first name being said and him turning his head or something of that sort but I just don't see him knowing his whole name that it would make a difference if it was changed or my husbands last name added to it? But thanks to all for the advice and comments.