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    My husband child from previous relationship.

    Asked Apr 21, 2008, 02:39 PM 11 Answers
    Help my husband of 2 years has a child from previous relationship.. The problem is that the ex and her parents have denied my husband any right to see his daughter.. He is to the point where he doesn't care... The entire time he has been paying child support, and even allows her to claim the daughter on her taxes every year, when they are are supposed to split years(according to court orders). The money issue doesn't bother him but what we are finding out that she knew where he was the entire time, accepted his child support then went to Colorado courts and claimed child abandonement.. This entire time we have sent the child support to her parents house because we had no where else to send it.. She is still accepting the child support, is that even legal if the child abandonement went through? What do we do? Is this fair? Can she get in trouble for accepting child support and lying to the courts?? No one moved out of state, everyone lives in Colorado. The child support is court ordered, and he is paying it. He got to the point of not caring about the child because of the family of the mother, they have threatened him into a corner. He allowed the mother to change her last name because the mothers father threatened to sue him for more child support plus interest.. Any fool knows there is no interest on child support, or else I would be rich from my children's father.. It would only be a fight to see the daughter, and life goes on, we don't feel like fighting with the mother. All the child is to the mother is a paycheck, she has never held a job in her life.. What's out first step? WE have proof of all the child support paid, receipts and copies of the money orders we sent. I want the slate to be cleaned with the truth so he can proceed with a dissolution of rights or visition with his daughter.

    Last edited by curiousnewwife; Apr 22, 2008 at 06:43 AM.
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    11 Answers
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #2

    Apr 21, 2008, 05:50 PM
    I would think yes, she can get in trouble. I would get a lawyer though if I were you. It sounds like she's really trying to make a mess of things for you.
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    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 80,888, Reputation: 7659
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    #3

    Apr 21, 2008, 06:17 PM


    Yes, she filed information that was false to the court, it should be reported, actually needs to be, since if that court finds in her favor, they could be problems for you.

    Also she can not deny your husband rights to see the child and needs to be dragged back to court for that also
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    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,638, Reputation: 1433
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    #4

    Apr 21, 2008, 06:25 PM
    He needs to get a custody hearing so the courts can say how much time he can spend with the child and not her. Did she move out of state ? Or do they both reside in the same one ? Is the child support court ordered ? If not he will have to fomalize it as well as perternity ( aka court DNA Test ). Make sure he keeps all reciepts and canceled checks he has given her he's going to need it for proof.
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    George_1950's Avatar
    George_1950 Posts: 3,100, Reputation: 236
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    #5

    Apr 21, 2008, 08:23 PM
    Good job, curiousnewwife; your husband needs some encouragement and a kick in the butt. How does one get to the point of not caring about a two year old? Is he entitled to visitation? If not, he should request modification and/or custody.
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    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4599
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    #6

    Apr 22, 2008, 06:51 AM
    I don't understand - is there some sort of proceeding in progress now? Is his "ex" trying to get him to relinquish the child?

    If she lied to the Court, certainly, prove it and she'll have problems.

    I'm confused about what is going on in the Court -
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    GV70's Avatar
    GV70 Posts: 2,918, Reputation: 283
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    #7

    Apr 22, 2008, 01:32 PM


    curiousnewwife , I am a bit confused.
    You wrote,"The entire time he has been paying child support...This entire time we have sent the child support to her parents house because we had no where else to send it."

    Judy is right -what is going on in the Court ,why does he pay to her parents...
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    curiousnewwife's Avatar
    curiousnewwife Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Apr 22, 2008, 01:38 PM
    He pays to her parents because they refuse to tell us where the mother lives.. they pass it on. There is nothing going on in court, I went through public records in the county court and the mother and my husband have 3 related court cases. He only knew of the first one. He went down to the court house pulled the record and she lied about everything! Told courts no child support, and that he hadn't tried to see his daughter in over a year, claimed abandonement. I have proof from emails that were sent to her that HE DID try!
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    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4599
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    #9

    Apr 22, 2008, 01:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by curiousnewwife
    He pays to her parents because they refuse to tell us where the mother lives.. they pass it on. There is nothing going on in court, i went thru public records in the county court and the mother and my husband have 3 related court cases. He only knew of the first one. He went down to the court house pulled the record and she lied about everything! Told courts no child support, and that he hadnt tried to see his daughter in over a year, claimed abandonement. I have proof from emails that were sent to her that HE DID try!!

    Okay, then I don't understand the original question. SOMEONE is filing SOEMTHING about abandonment and the question is did your husband or did he not abandon the child? And your proof he did not is his child support payments - right?

    So it has to be in Court - the abandonment part.

    I have never heard of the "pass it on" child support arrangement. In fact, I have seen mothers FORCED to give the address info to the father.

    What public records did you go through? Court transcripts shouldn't be available. Are there other orders?

    Confused -
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    GV70's Avatar
    GV70 Posts: 2,918, Reputation: 283
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    #10

    Apr 22, 2008, 01:50 PM


    Quote Originally Posted by curiousnewwife
    He pays to her parents because they refuse to tell us where the mother lives.. they pass it on. There is nothing going on in court, i went thru public records in the county court and the mother and my husband have 3 related court cases. He only knew of the first one. He went down to the court house pulled the record and she lied about everything! Told courts no child support, and that he hadnt tried to see his daughter in over a year, claimed abandonement. I have proof from emails that were sent to her that HE DID try!!
    Legally-the first mistake is that he has paid CS to her parents.Her parents are not obligated by the law to inform your husband where she is located in.It is his fault not to ask for enforcement of visitation,for example.
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    curiousnewwife's Avatar
    curiousnewwife Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Apr 22, 2008, 01:50 PM
    No but we have the docket #'s from the time he wenr to court. The county we are in shows how many cases have presented to the court with his name and social security number on it.. When I saw his name 3x, I told him and he went down and got the papers printed out. We have 6 emails to the mother requesting visition printed, and they show that the mother reaad them. We have copies of every child support payment he has ever made. The parents of the mother are pyschotically protective over there daughter and won't even give him her telephone # or messages from him, I'm sure... Even more in the state of Colorado, a new mother doesn't have to work untl the child is two, now the child is 4.. And she just gave birth to a 2nd baby from another man.. I know we always talk about dead beat fathers, but wouldn't she be a dead beat mom? Riding the system out? The abandonement papers state that he has no legal right since he wasn't there.. We can prove that wasn't true.. won't she get in a lot of trouble? Or will they allow her to keep making babies and being a welfare mom?
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    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4599
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    #12

    Apr 22, 2008, 03:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by curiousnewwife
    No but we have the docket #'s from the time he wenr to court. The county we are in shows how many cases have presented to the court with his name and social security number on it.. When i saw his name 3x, i told him and he went down and got the papers printed out. We have 6 emails to the mother requesting visition printed, and they show that the mother reaad them. We have copies of every child support payment he has ever made. The parents of the mother are pyschotically protective over there daughter and won't even give him her telephone # or messages from him, im sure...Even more in the state of Colorado, a new mother doesnt have to work untl the child is two, now the child is 4.. And she just gave birth to a 2nd baby from another man.. I know we always talk about dead beat fathers, but wouldnt she be a dead beat mom? Riding the system out? The abandonement papers state that he has no legal right since he wasnt there.. We can prove that wasnt true.. wont she get in alot of trouble? Or will they allow her to keep making babies and being a welfare mom?

    Well, I'd go back to Court and reopen the abandonment issue. Sounds like the decision was based on lies and you can prove it.

    As far as will the Court allow her to be a Welfare Mom, should she be a Welfare Mom, what is a deadbeat Mom, should there be deadbeat Moms, well, those are questions for some other board.

    But your legal question - if the decision was based on lies - go for it!
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