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herlinaelliott · Jul 20, 2009, 06:45 AM

I am 5 months pregnant and my friend has no children of her own. I have 4 and this was an unexpected pregnancy. Now I'm about to move to another state but me and her have agreed on me giving her my baby. I don't know where the father is so when I have the baby how do we go about adoption proceeding amongst us? What courts will I have to go to for help in this situation?

Synnen · Jul 20, 2009, 07:30 AM

Your friend needs to retain a lawyer, and one for you.

You can't just hand babies around like they're puppies.

Please be VERY sure that this is what you want to do. It will change your friendship, and while you think you'll be just fine with someone else raising your child--and you might be! Many women are!--you may also find out that you miss your child to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts.

YOU need counseling, first and foremost. I suggest talking to Lutheran Social Services or Catholic Social Services--you don't need to be a member of a religion to go to them for help.

As far as the legal side of things--you need to figure out every single guy who MIGHT be the father, contact them all, and arrange for a DNA test to find out who the father is. Then you need to get the biological father to sign away HIS rights as well.

Depending on your state, your friend may not be eligible to adopt. She needs to find out what she needs to do to qualify to adopt in your state. In some states, she must be married, and her partner willing to adopt as well. The best way to find out is to contact a family law attorney.

herlinaelliott · Jul 20, 2009, 09:20 AM

Mother is pregnant once she told the father he wanted her to abort it but she decided to put it up for adoption. She has no more contact with the father does she need his consent still to put it up for adoption

JudyKayTee · Jul 20, 2009, 10:17 AM

Please don't refer to a child as "it."

Yes, the father needs to consent to an adoption. Social Services (or the agency/Attorney handling the adoption) will assist with the paperwork.

If the father doesn't want the child he (hopefully) will sign the necessary releases.

JudyKayTee · Jul 20, 2009, 10:18 AM

Same problem, same OP, slightly different explanation. Should be combined. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adopti...ne-377717.html

Synnen · Jul 20, 2009, 10:20 AM

Threads merged, thanks Judy

JudyKayTee · Jul 20, 2009, 10:26 AM

Now that the threads have been combined I am even MORE offended by the "it" and "give my baby" away language.

I apologize if that's out of place here.

N0help4u · Jul 20, 2009, 03:21 PM

Guess she couldn't refer to it as 'my baby' since the one post it is her pregnant and the other post it is mother is pregnant and she...

JudyKayTee · Jul 20, 2009, 03:28 PM

Time to take 2 aspirin and move to another thread.

herlinaelliott · Jul 21, 2009, 06:36 PM

Thanks for all the responses but you went way beyond what I was asking ( it & baby) I mean what? It's a hypothetical question HELLO!