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    ggandjonjon1's Avatar
    ggandjonjon1 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 19, 2017, 01:48 PM
    How do I get my grandchildren out of dhs custody in Oklahoma
    I have 2 grandson in dhs custody in Oklahoma. Over 19 yrs ago dhs took my kids for 23 days. Over my ex and I fighting. Now that my grandsons are in custody dhs won't let me help.there is a court order the 24th and the rights of the parent may be taken away and boys put up for adopting, is there anyway I can get them. I have not been in any trouble with the law. But dhs won't let me be a monitor, so can I adopt them if it came to that
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert

    Aug 19, 2017, 02:20 PM
    Yes, if you fight and fight, and that takes good legal help, and it will probably cost you a fair amount!
    You can try to do it yourself but it could be a battle.
    You have to work and work at it, and get all your ducks in a row, regarding your finances, your home, every thing you can think of to prove yourself.
    You can't just stand there saying that you will be good custodians. PROVE IT. Documents, bank statements, pictures of your home, ways it's all safe for kids, anything.
    It could take at least a year, and you might still lose.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man

    Aug 20, 2017, 07:25 AM
    Without knowing the details of why they were removed, its very hard to say. Your only real recourse is to retain an attorney who can advise you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855

    Aug 20, 2017, 08:04 AM
    I agree with Scott, you need someone qualified to guide you through the legal process, as it's long, hard, and a bit expensive.
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
    Ultra Member

    Aug 20, 2017, 07:25 PM
    You would need good counsel. If you have a drug or alcohol issue, or other social issues, probably not. If you have a stable life, are able to support the children, can be relied upon to keep them distanced from the issues that resulted in their birth parents losing custody and the like, maybe. It sounds like they deem you unfit, as generally the first choice is to place children with a relative so I wonder what you aren't telling us here.

    Children are rarely removed from a home just because the parents fight. I am imagining there were injuries, perhaps weapons... it must have been a severe situation. I think you need to be more candid about the history if someone is going to help you.

    It is rare for courts to completely terminate the rights of a family to children, and generally there's a real show going on. My son was in a very dysfunctional family and nobody in the family was permitted to adopt him. His (adoptive) father and I had no connection to the family which was what the state wanted, and they placed him with us for adoption. He needed to be permanently and completely removed from the situation for his safety. It was very sad for all of us that he could not remain with his birth family in some capacity - we all hoped to maintain some tether for his benefit.

    My son later reconnected with his birth relatives as a young adult, and the dysfunction remained to the extent that he was sucked into a really, really terrible situation. It derailed his college career for a couple of years, and threw him into a terrible depression and crisis, worrying about his younger half siblings who remain in the situation. The adults in the situation missed and loved him but were not able to soberly consider his needs at all, and were totally inappropriate to be around him.

    I tell you this not knowing you at al, not knowing your situation or personality, what life has thrown at or given to you, the content of your character - I know nothing about you. That in mind, I would suggest you seriously consider whether you are the best option for these children. If your life remains unstable, or you are still caught up in violent arguments, or if you cannot assure that the children are permanently relieved from whatever negative behaviors resulted in their parents losing them, let the kids go to another family.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert

    Aug 22, 2017, 05:34 AM
    dontknownuthin[COLOR=#3e3e3e], you said it like it is.
    I couldn't bring myself to be that realistic, thinking that with the right amount of determination, they might be able to win....[/COLOR]

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